[Derek's hands are on his face, holding him still as their foreheads meet. Kavinsky doesn't pull away and his hand is slow as it moves on Derek's cock. He feels like he needs to hear this.]
I know. Me too.
[The words are so fucking small but he isn't sure he has the fucking wherewithal right now to elaborate. Kavinsky's relationship with sex has probably never been all that healthy. It's a way to feel good and it's a way to have power and it's a way to get things. But it's only ever meant anything with such a small number of people. Sex with Derek used to be fucking easy: they hated each other. But Kavinsky meant it when he said Derek gets him all fucked up now, and yeah, with the right look or the right couple of words they can get each other fired up, but--but it's more complicated than that now. He doesn't know how to look at it or how to untangle the knot of whatever this has turned into, and he's kind of afraid that if he pulls the wrong thread it's going to fall apart into nothing again. So he tries not to touch it.
But he can't not do this.
He leans up into the kiss, making sure it hurts before Derek's fingers replace his lips. Kavinsky opens his mouth, licking over them before he sucks on them. He got started earlier but a little more help never hurt. He works up saliva, gets Derek's fingers as slick as he can with that alone. He wants to get wrecked.]
no subject
I know. Me too.
[The words are so fucking small but he isn't sure he has the fucking wherewithal right now to elaborate. Kavinsky's relationship with sex has probably never been all that healthy. It's a way to feel good and it's a way to have power and it's a way to get things. But it's only ever meant anything with such a small number of people. Sex with Derek used to be fucking easy: they hated each other. But Kavinsky meant it when he said Derek gets him all fucked up now, and yeah, with the right look or the right couple of words they can get each other fired up, but--but it's more complicated than that now. He doesn't know how to look at it or how to untangle the knot of whatever this has turned into, and he's kind of afraid that if he pulls the wrong thread it's going to fall apart into nothing again. So he tries not to touch it.
But he can't not do this.
He leans up into the kiss, making sure it hurts before Derek's fingers replace his lips. Kavinsky opens his mouth, licking over them before he sucks on them. He got started earlier but a little more help never hurt. He works up saliva, gets Derek's fingers as slick as he can with that alone. He wants to get wrecked.]