[ truthfully, derek's not sure how willing he is to stick to his own rule. having each other's backs is all well and good, and he's obviously willing to take a chance on trusting stiles, even if he can't see himself ever letting go of the underlying fear in the back of his mind that one of them could very easily screw the other over... but.
but he owes stiles so much already. he doesn't want to owe him anything else. somewhere, derek knows he wouldn't have been so quick to pledge himself to stiles if he were still a dom and derek had been brought into this city as a sub. this position of power gives him comfort; he'll be able to give stiles the things he needs without having to worry about asking for help in turn, and even if, outwardly, they're promising to take care of each other, derek's not going to let himself need that. he's going to be the caretaker, he's going to be the provider. he's going to make stiles' life easier, even if he has to make his own harder in the process.
it hasn't occurred to him that stiles already has his own plans to watch derek's back and stop him from getting killed. it hasn't occurred to him just how much derek's going to rely on him in the days or weeks or months to come.
still, this works. derek drew a line in the sand here, whether he meant to or not; he's not going to treat himself as stiles' alpha, he's not going to delude himself into thinking they're pack. stiles isn't a replacement for the betas he's lost. they're just... derek and stiles. just like stiles said. derek watches stiles, barely moving, as stiles circles through expressions and takes way too fucking long to get to that "yeah, all right". when he does, derek breathes the breath he'd been holding, nodding and sucking the tip of his tongue against his upper gums. okay. good.
good.
derek sets his hands on his hips, attempting, however subconsciously, to look authoritative and in control. he looks away, lost in thought, already making plans in his mind about how to ease into this transition as seamlessly as possible; they'll have to write up a real contract, something that won't make it obvious they're just two friends(-ish) getting through this. he's already expecting to get some shit from vrenille, who he'd forgotten, until now, had been convinced that he pretty badly wants to fuck stiles. there are hurdles to jump, but as far as he can tell, they don't seem to be too high. contracting with each other is the best possible outcome for both of them, if they really do have to play by this system's rules.
when derek zones in on himself again, stiles has his fist out, ready to be bumped. derek doesn't react. derek doesn't participate. there's another bump of his eyebrows, and he drags his eyes as painfully slowly up to stiles', openly judgmental in his silence. he's not... bumping that. go wildcats.
stiles keeps going and derek just sort of leans on his other foot, sighing like he'd hoped this conversation would be over and is visibly disappointed to find that stiles still wants to talk to him. he folds his arms over his chest, tucking his hands under his arms, and it takes a second or two for his brain to catch up and realize what stiles is going on about. when the fuck did they talk about blowjobs?
oh, right. like literally three seconds ago.
he rolls his eyes, tilting his head to the side. it would be easy enough, he thinks, to just say that he was obviously screwing around, and that stiles is an idiot, and then also maybe smack him a little, just for old times' sake. he doesn't, because this at least feels like a bit of levity to a conversation that stiles had to set a lot of pride aside to get into, and maybe it would be kinder to keep the joke going until the air between them thins a little. ]
You know, most guys would be pretty thrilled if I offered to suck their dick.
[ you know, because of how good looking he is. derek sort of lazily unfolds one of his arms, pointing his finger up at his face, doing a little circle motion with his hand. like, look at this. think of that police officer. think of danny. derek is self-aware of the strengths he has, and this is just one of them. ]
SWEATS
but he owes stiles so much already. he doesn't want to owe him anything else. somewhere, derek knows he wouldn't have been so quick to pledge himself to stiles if he were still a dom and derek had been brought into this city as a sub. this position of power gives him comfort; he'll be able to give stiles the things he needs without having to worry about asking for help in turn, and even if, outwardly, they're promising to take care of each other, derek's not going to let himself need that. he's going to be the caretaker, he's going to be the provider. he's going to make stiles' life easier, even if he has to make his own harder in the process.
it hasn't occurred to him that stiles already has his own plans to watch derek's back and stop him from getting killed. it hasn't occurred to him just how much derek's going to rely on him in the days or weeks or months to come.
still, this works. derek drew a line in the sand here, whether he meant to or not; he's not going to treat himself as stiles' alpha, he's not going to delude himself into thinking they're pack. stiles isn't a replacement for the betas he's lost. they're just... derek and stiles. just like stiles said. derek watches stiles, barely moving, as stiles circles through expressions and takes way too fucking long to get to that "yeah, all right". when he does, derek breathes the breath he'd been holding, nodding and sucking the tip of his tongue against his upper gums. okay. good.
good.
derek sets his hands on his hips, attempting, however subconsciously, to look authoritative and in control. he looks away, lost in thought, already making plans in his mind about how to ease into this transition as seamlessly as possible; they'll have to write up a real contract, something that won't make it obvious they're just two friends(-ish) getting through this. he's already expecting to get some shit from vrenille, who he'd forgotten, until now, had been convinced that he pretty badly wants to fuck stiles. there are hurdles to jump, but as far as he can tell, they don't seem to be too high. contracting with each other is the best possible outcome for both of them, if they really do have to play by this system's rules.
when derek zones in on himself again, stiles has his fist out, ready to be bumped. derek doesn't react. derek doesn't participate. there's another bump of his eyebrows, and he drags his eyes as painfully slowly up to stiles', openly judgmental in his silence. he's not... bumping that. go wildcats.
stiles keeps going and derek just sort of leans on his other foot, sighing like he'd hoped this conversation would be over and is visibly disappointed to find that stiles still wants to talk to him. he folds his arms over his chest, tucking his hands under his arms, and it takes a second or two for his brain to catch up and realize what stiles is going on about. when the fuck did they talk about blowjobs?
oh, right. like literally three seconds ago.
he rolls his eyes, tilting his head to the side. it would be easy enough, he thinks, to just say that he was obviously screwing around, and that stiles is an idiot, and then also maybe smack him a little, just for old times' sake. he doesn't, because this at least feels like a bit of levity to a conversation that stiles had to set a lot of pride aside to get into, and maybe it would be kinder to keep the joke going until the air between them thins a little. ]
You know, most guys would be pretty thrilled if I offered to suck their dick.
[ you know, because of how good looking he is. derek sort of lazily unfolds one of his arms, pointing his finger up at his face, doing a little circle motion with his hand. like, look at this. think of that police officer. think of danny. derek is self-aware of the strengths he has, and this is just one of them. ]
But fine. Your call.