[ if stiles had known for sure that he could save allison by telling her about what happened, stiles would have sucked it up and told her everything - derek's right about that. but the thing is, stiles didn't know if it wouldn't save her, either. there was as much of a possibility of changing her future as there was of her future being set in stone. he should have taken that chance. not taking it is what puts the blame on him.
but there's no point in arguing with derek. stiles doesn't even really have the energy for it. besides, the rest of what derek follows with leaves stiles kind of speechless anyway. speechless and kind of misty-eyed, actually, but he was already feeling kind of raw anyway. stiles rubs his fingers underneath his nose and takes a slow, deep and comforting breath.
no one's ever really said those things about him before. not that he knows of, anyway, never to his face. he doesn't think anyone's ever paid close enough attention to acknowledge the things he does for his friends, for anyone else. and it's not that stiles feels like he deserves praise for sticking by scott's side, or for helping people even if it comes at the cost of hurting himself, because he doesn't want to be praised for those things. all of that is just... human decency. but nobody's ever really looked that deep, stiles thinks.
it's kind of nice. it's also kind of terrifying.
stiles breathes out, takes another deep breath as he scrubs one of his hands over the top of his head. he stares at his phone for too long before convinces himself to tap out a response and send it before he can second guess himself. ]
Would it be alright if I crashed at your place tonight? I'm kind of getting sick and tired of feeling afraid And it would be kind of nice to feel less afraid even for a couple of hours.
[ because stiles meant it, back in the barracks, when he told derek that he makes him feel better, that he makes him feel safe. ]
It's okay if it's not cool or if you've got other plans or something It's no big deal.
no subject
but there's no point in arguing with derek. stiles doesn't even really have the energy for it. besides, the rest of what derek follows with leaves stiles kind of speechless anyway. speechless and kind of misty-eyed, actually, but he was already feeling kind of raw anyway. stiles rubs his fingers underneath his nose and takes a slow, deep and comforting breath.
no one's ever really said those things about him before. not that he knows of, anyway, never to his face. he doesn't think anyone's ever paid close enough attention to acknowledge the things he does for his friends, for anyone else. and it's not that stiles feels like he deserves praise for sticking by scott's side, or for helping people even if it comes at the cost of hurting himself, because he doesn't want to be praised for those things. all of that is just... human decency. but nobody's ever really looked that deep, stiles thinks.
it's kind of nice. it's also kind of terrifying.
stiles breathes out, takes another deep breath as he scrubs one of his hands over the top of his head. he stares at his phone for too long before convinces himself to tap out a response and send it before he can second guess himself. ]
Would it be alright if I crashed at your place tonight?
I'm kind of getting sick and tired of feeling afraid
And it would be kind of nice to feel less afraid even for a couple of hours.
[ because stiles meant it, back in the barracks, when he told derek that he makes him feel better, that he makes him feel safe. ]
It's okay if it's not cool or if you've got other plans or something
It's no big deal.