it's good that stiles repeats himself, really clarifies his answer. derek's already folding in on himself a little and wishing he'd never asked, beating himself up for trying, and it takes the quick one-two punch that stiles sends him to really knock that line of thinking out of orbit.
every part of derek is telling him to pull the brakes. to stop piling up unsteady brick onto unsteady brick, because he knows all it will take is one wrong move for everything to crumble and for stiles to get hurt. he's gone over that in his head time and time and time again, fearing the sobering reality check that's going to come for him when this happy little bubble bursts and he's flung back into the decimating smell of ash.
but he doesn't. he still feels emboldened by their night together. the confessions, the intimacy. the mutual desire for this to go as far as it can go. he thinks of the regret that's been sitting in his chest ever since his refusal to say i love you,. derek hesitates, and he knows he's pushing things here, about to drop another title stiles might not be willing to share, but after spending so long in freefall, he wants to see something land. ]
Same. To you. I've been with men. But I've never. Had a boyfriend. Until now. You.
no subject
[ okay.
it's good that stiles repeats himself, really clarifies his answer. derek's already folding in on himself a little and wishing he'd never asked, beating himself up for trying, and it takes the quick one-two punch that stiles sends him to really knock that line of thinking out of orbit.
every part of derek is telling him to pull the brakes. to stop piling up unsteady brick onto unsteady brick, because he knows all it will take is one wrong move for everything to crumble and for stiles to get hurt. he's gone over that in his head time and time and time again, fearing the sobering reality check that's going to come for him when this happy little bubble bursts and he's flung back into the decimating smell of ash.
but he doesn't. he still feels emboldened by their night together. the confessions, the intimacy. the mutual desire for this to go as far as it can go. he thinks of the regret that's been sitting in his chest ever since his refusal to say i love you,. derek hesitates, and he knows he's pushing things here, about to drop another title stiles might not be willing to share, but after spending so long in freefall, he wants to see something land. ]
Same. To you.
I've been with men. But I've never.
Had a boyfriend.
Until now.
You.