[ stiles makes him laugh. it's funny - he's grown up a lot, but stiles is still the same person he was back home, when derek knew him. sarcastic and quick and slightly self-deprecative, able to soften every feeling and every thought by padding them with jokes. derek understands him more, now, and he wishes - not for the first time - that he'd paid closer attention to him sooner. seen him as who he was, instead of just making assumptions and thinking stiles didn't care about the world half as much as he does.
derek stands, and he paces in front of his front door, trying to burn out some of the extra energy that's been building up since he'd started talking to stiles. he's impatient. soon as stiles walks through that door, derek's gonna have to kiss him. ]
Good. I feel good. If you feel good. I mean, I'd feel good anyway. But I feel good that you feel good. You feeling good makes me feel good.
[ wait, now derek sounds like a dumbass. he stops pacing, stares down at his phone, then recalibrates. ]
Anyway. Sorry. I feel the same. Never had this. Not all at once. I was young. With Paige. I don't know how much you know about her. Us. But I was stupid. Naive. It wasn't real. Not really. Then there was Kate. And that wasn't real, either. In a different way.
And now there's you. Solid. Real. I haven't really been happy like this before. I haven't even been a little happy, since Laura. And now. It's all at once. I'm scared. All the time. And I'm happy. All the time. And I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to behave. So. I'm sorry. If I get carried away. I just like you. A lot.
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derek stands, and he paces in front of his front door, trying to burn out some of the extra energy that's been building up since he'd started talking to stiles. he's impatient. soon as stiles walks through that door, derek's gonna have to kiss him. ]
Good.
I feel good. If you feel good.
I mean, I'd feel good anyway. But I feel good that you feel good. You feeling good makes me feel good.
[ wait, now derek sounds like a dumbass. he stops pacing, stares down at his phone, then recalibrates. ]
Anyway.
Sorry.
I feel the same. Never had this. Not all at once.
I was young. With Paige. I don't know how much you know about her. Us.
But I was stupid. Naive. It wasn't real. Not really.
Then there was Kate. And that wasn't real, either. In a different way.
And now there's you.
Solid. Real.
I haven't really been happy like this before. I haven't even been a little happy, since Laura.
And now.
It's all at once.
I'm scared. All the time. And I'm happy. All the time.
And I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to behave. So.
I'm sorry. If I get carried away.
I just like you.
A lot.