[ the urge to argue with stiles is - strong. it's kind of him, to pin the blame on peter, but derek was the one who pushed for the bite, derek was the one who believed he couldn't be with paige while she was human, derek was the one who didn't stop and talk to paige and realize she was perceptive enough to know about werewolves even before ennis, derek was the one who played with her life and trusted the wrong people and asked for too much.
but the fact that stiles knows so much about paige gets to him, a little, because he doesn't talk about her. he's said her name twice in the past eight or so years, and both of them were to stiles within the last few days. for stiles to know not only about their relationship, but about her death, and about peter? to know, and - to not be disgusted with him?
it's a lot. it's a lot, to think that stiles still wants him despite knowing what he knows. derek wets his lips, starts pacing again, feels his stomach get unsettled. he can't talk about paige anymore, not over the phone. he moves past it. ]
That's how I feel. I don't want to overstep, I don't want to do anything wrong. I don't want to hurt you. That's what I'm afraid of. But.
[ elevator's almost stopped. derek gets annoyed, again. he can't wait to just... move. live together. not have to wait all the time. ]
I know you won't screw this up. I don't think you could if you tried. You're smart. Kind. Caring. You've cared about me more than... anyone else ever has. Except for my mom, maybe. You make me feel like I'm okay. That's a hard thing to do. Nobody's ever made me feel this okay.
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but the fact that stiles knows so much about paige gets to him, a little, because he doesn't talk about her. he's said her name twice in the past eight or so years, and both of them were to stiles within the last few days. for stiles to know not only about their relationship, but about her death, and about peter? to know, and - to not be disgusted with him?
it's a lot. it's a lot, to think that stiles still wants him despite knowing what he knows. derek wets his lips, starts pacing again, feels his stomach get unsettled. he can't talk about paige anymore, not over the phone. he moves past it. ]
That's how I feel. I don't want to overstep, I don't want to do anything wrong.
I don't want to hurt you. That's what I'm afraid of.
But.
[ elevator's almost stopped. derek gets annoyed, again. he can't wait to just... move. live together. not have to wait all the time. ]
I know you won't screw this up.
I don't think you could if you tried.
You're smart. Kind.
Caring. You've cared about me more than... anyone else ever has. Except for my mom, maybe.
You make me feel like I'm okay. That's a hard thing to do.
Nobody's ever made me feel this okay.