[ stiles sets up their movie, tells him what they're watching. derek's already zoning out. again, he keeps feeling these hard, heavy realizations in attuned, perceptive bursts - stiles crawled onto the bed with him and pushed open the laptop with his hand, and derek just stared, because it hit him as hard as ever that this... this is his boyfriend. this is his boyfriend, and this is the one person in the world who has had his back when nobody else has, and this is the guy who is just...
his. his? stiles is his. stiles isn't the stupid, annoying kid who didn't know how to handle him; stiles is the grown-ass adult who has been shaped by the world peter forced him into. this is someone kind and loyal and resilient and fucking intelligent, this is someone who is incredibly out of his league but still offers him the kind of love derek thought he'd never have again. this is the reason why derek's so purely, completely happy to be in a city filled with violence and oppression and misery.
derek watches stiles settle, feeling... just... fond. fond of the way stiles, son of a cop, totally pirates movies. fond of the way his hair falls, softer and longer than it ever was at home. fond of the way he makes sure derek can see the screen, fond of the way he lays down, fond of him. it takes derek a second or two to zone back in and realize that stiles asked him a question. ]
Oh - it's fine. Perfect.
[ derek lays down, too, stretching out mostly on his back, halfway on his side. he inches in close to stiles, and he's not sure if they're at the point where they're allowed to just... hold each other during a movie, and - truthfully - even if they are, he doesn't really remember how to do that. that's not going to stop him from taking the chance; tentatively, he reaches out, and he curls arm over stiles' waist, resting his hand against his hip. it's a little awkward, with stiles flat on his back and the laptop slightly out of sight at this angle, but.
derek doesn't mind.
for a while, things are quiet. a few film studios get introduced on screen, there's the humming of old, familiar logos that existed back home but not here. the score to the film picks up, an actor that derek thinks he might recognize but probably doesn't starts setting up the scene. derek moves closer to stiles, and he closes his eyes. they're not quite spooning - they're sort of face to face, with the laptop a few inches above derek's head, and stiles' arm is still comfortably resting on his own chest - but it's cozy, and it's warm, and this is why derek couldn't wait for stiles to move in. this is what he missed.
eventually, he talks. ]
Hey.
[ he moves his hand further back, draping it over stiles' side and resting against his lower back. he rests on his free arm, curling it beneath his head and laying his cheek on his elbow, and he just... looks at stiles, for a second. still fond. ]
I really like you. I know that's sort of weird to say out of nowhere - but.
[ he shrugs, just with one shoulder, nestling further into the bed. the sun hasn't set yet, but the room itself is kind of dark, and stiles looks like he's glowing in the dull, manufactured light from the laptop. half his face is illuminated by the screen, and he just looks... he just makes derek feel safe. it's comforting, seeing him like this. derek wets his lips, and he knows he's going to sound self-defeating when he says this, he knows he's going to sound like he's fishing for reassurance or attention or compliments or something, but he's really not.
but kate's still on his mind, paige is still on his mind. there are things he needs to address. faults in himself he knows stiles is going to have to deal with, if they're serious about this thing. he struggles with honesty, with opening up, he struggles with his temper. everything he wants to do feels new and scary, and he's worried that stiles won't have the patience to deal with helping a fucking twenty two year old man adjust to normal social interaction between two people who are dating.
derek takes a few seconds, then keeps going. ]
I know I'm kind of an asshole, and I know I have a lot of shit to get over before I can be a half-way decent boyfriend, but. If this gets fucked up - you and me - it's not gonna be your fault. You're... pretty incredible. I'm really lucky.
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his. his? stiles is his. stiles isn't the stupid, annoying kid who didn't know how to handle him; stiles is the grown-ass adult who has been shaped by the world peter forced him into. this is someone kind and loyal and resilient and fucking intelligent, this is someone who is incredibly out of his league but still offers him the kind of love derek thought he'd never have again. this is the reason why derek's so purely, completely happy to be in a city filled with violence and oppression and misery.
derek watches stiles settle, feeling... just... fond. fond of the way stiles, son of a cop, totally pirates movies. fond of the way his hair falls, softer and longer than it ever was at home. fond of the way he makes sure derek can see the screen, fond of the way he lays down, fond of him. it takes derek a second or two to zone back in and realize that stiles asked him a question. ]
Oh - it's fine. Perfect.
[ derek lays down, too, stretching out mostly on his back, halfway on his side. he inches in close to stiles, and he's not sure if they're at the point where they're allowed to just... hold each other during a movie, and - truthfully - even if they are, he doesn't really remember how to do that. that's not going to stop him from taking the chance; tentatively, he reaches out, and he curls arm over stiles' waist, resting his hand against his hip. it's a little awkward, with stiles flat on his back and the laptop slightly out of sight at this angle, but.
derek doesn't mind.
for a while, things are quiet. a few film studios get introduced on screen, there's the humming of old, familiar logos that existed back home but not here. the score to the film picks up, an actor that derek thinks he might recognize but probably doesn't starts setting up the scene. derek moves closer to stiles, and he closes his eyes. they're not quite spooning - they're sort of face to face, with the laptop a few inches above derek's head, and stiles' arm is still comfortably resting on his own chest - but it's cozy, and it's warm, and this is why derek couldn't wait for stiles to move in. this is what he missed.
eventually, he talks. ]
Hey.
[ he moves his hand further back, draping it over stiles' side and resting against his lower back. he rests on his free arm, curling it beneath his head and laying his cheek on his elbow, and he just... looks at stiles, for a second. still fond. ]
I really like you. I know that's sort of weird to say out of nowhere - but.
[ he shrugs, just with one shoulder, nestling further into the bed. the sun hasn't set yet, but the room itself is kind of dark, and stiles looks like he's glowing in the dull, manufactured light from the laptop. half his face is illuminated by the screen, and he just looks... he just makes derek feel safe. it's comforting, seeing him like this. derek wets his lips, and he knows he's going to sound self-defeating when he says this, he knows he's going to sound like he's fishing for reassurance or attention or compliments or something, but he's really not.
but kate's still on his mind, paige is still on his mind. there are things he needs to address. faults in himself he knows stiles is going to have to deal with, if they're serious about this thing. he struggles with honesty, with opening up, he struggles with his temper. everything he wants to do feels new and scary, and he's worried that stiles won't have the patience to deal with helping a fucking twenty two year old man adjust to normal social interaction between two people who are dating.
derek takes a few seconds, then keeps going. ]
I know I'm kind of an asshole, and I know I have a lot of shit to get over before I can be a half-way decent boyfriend, but. If this gets fucked up - you and me - it's not gonna be your fault. You're... pretty incredible. I'm really lucky.