[Tate's heart nearly fucking stops for a second, unable to compute Derek's initial command with a look of frozen shock and confusion. He's being forbidden from seeing someone and although that comes with the promise of - Derek accepting him again, it's like a twist of a knife inside his chest simultaneously. A crushing vice that stops him from breathing altogether.
Ben told him to stop seeing Violet, and that went well.
He wouldn't have been able to agree to it, even if he wanted to. His contract with Kavinsky can't be changed, and it lasts for three months. It was only just signed. He doesn't want to move away, to hide in the attic like Anne Frank and lose out on what he was building with Kavinsky. He was hoping to explain to Derek that Kavinsky could be a good source of aid for their efforts - but he's too angry. It won't work. He needs - time. Time to figure it out.
But he reels it back and Tate can breath a little bit easier, but it's still heavily problematic. He still can't say no, of course, so his expression is a bit blank for a beat or three of his heart. The tears seem to freeze on his face and he looks up at Derek uncertain, before wiping at his eyes again.]
Okay. Okay? Okay, we ca-can... we can do that.
[He still can't breathe, struggling to swallow his next wet inhale - pale, uncertain and trying to think six steps ahead and failing. Kavinsky probably won't mind if he goes off the record for a little while - they agreed that was alright. But his words ring in Tate's head.
'Don't fucking forget it. Whatever the fuck you do here, you leave with me.']
I'm - I'm sorry, I.
[He should be able to stop the shuddering, ugly crying by now but it washes through him in leaky aftershocks. His face is red and his sleeves damp for wiping it all away. He looks up again into Derek's eyes, trying not to be fearful of what he might see staring back at him. Fearful of these feelings he can't show right now in response to - being forbidden something. Under all the shaking, crying and upset he's. Unsettled. And a little angry. But it's buried down deep and dull, to be unpacked later.]
no subject
Ben told him to stop seeing Violet, and that went well.
He wouldn't have been able to agree to it, even if he wanted to. His contract with Kavinsky can't be changed, and it lasts for three months. It was only just signed. He doesn't want to move away, to hide in the attic like Anne Frank and lose out on what he was building with Kavinsky. He was hoping to explain to Derek that Kavinsky could be a good source of aid for their efforts - but he's too angry. It won't work. He needs - time. Time to figure it out.
But he reels it back and Tate can breath a little bit easier, but it's still heavily problematic. He still can't say no, of course, so his expression is a bit blank for a beat or three of his heart. The tears seem to freeze on his face and he looks up at Derek uncertain, before wiping at his eyes again.]
Okay. Okay? Okay, we ca-can... we can do that.
[He still can't breathe, struggling to swallow his next wet inhale - pale, uncertain and trying to think six steps ahead and failing. Kavinsky probably won't mind if he goes off the record for a little while - they agreed that was alright. But his words ring in Tate's head.
'Don't fucking forget it. Whatever the fuck you do here, you leave with me.']
I'm - I'm sorry, I.
[He should be able to stop the shuddering, ugly crying by now but it washes through him in leaky aftershocks. His face is red and his sleeves damp for wiping it all away. He looks up again into Derek's eyes, trying not to be fearful of what he might see staring back at him. Fearful of these feelings he can't show right now in response to - being forbidden something. Under all the shaking, crying and upset he's. Unsettled. And a little angry. But it's buried down deep and dull, to be unpacked later.]
I can't breathe.