[ All that anger in Derek is - unchained, now that it's not his anchor. He hasn't been this angry since before his anchor shifted, and going through all those old tricks to keep it steady and honed and focused just makes him small and immature and stupid. Young.
Tate looks so small.
Derek can't say it's just the full moon, even though it is, because that's the kind of abusive, manipulative shit Peter would have said, if he'd ever had the chance. He can't say I didn't mean any of it, I don't want to own you, I don't want you to be "mine", because now he's elevated his neediness and his fear of not having any betas into something horrible and toxic, and pulling out the blade he's put in this relationship is just going to seem like a rejection. He can't say he's not angry at Tate, either, because - because he is.
He still feels used. This was a desperate scramble to try and fix that, to try and keep something with Tate that he obviously never really had. Tate doesn't care about him. Tate doesn't care about the bite. Tate just - hates being rejected. Hated being rejected at the fort, hated being second to Stiles. He was just trying to get in good with Derek so he had a safety net between-- between the drugs, between Violet, between everything else.
This is one sided. Derek's - fine with that, if he has to be. He's not so invested in Tate's loyalty as to lose his mind if he doesn't have it. Maybe Tate was only ever a replacement for Erica and Boyd and Isaac, anyway. Maybe they were never meant to be close. Maybe he just needs to take a step back from this relationship altogether, maybe they don't need to be friends, maybe Tate's pain isn't his problem, maybe he should just smooth things over and completely remove himself from Tate's life. Maybe he just--
Fuck, he doesn't know what he needs to do. He just needs to stop Tate from hyperventilating. ]
Okay.
[ He tries to make his voice softer, but - he's Derek. ]
Okay, just - look at me.
[ There aren't any people around, really - Derek wouldn't have been talking about the bite so openly if there were - but he looks over his shoulders and doublechecks, just to be sure. He gets on his knees when he's sure the coast is clear, looks up at Tate, and steadily glows his eyes red. He tries to silently urge him to think of-- of blood, of the things that hurt, the things he shouldn't need as an escape. He doesn't know if Tate trusts him enough to make it work, but -
But the guilt is starting to set in. ]
I've got you. Okay? I'm sorry. Forget the hotel, forget - all of it. I'm not going to keep you prisoner or tell you who you can or can't see. I'm just scared.
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Tate looks so small.
Derek can't say it's just the full moon, even though it is, because that's the kind of abusive, manipulative shit Peter would have said, if he'd ever had the chance. He can't say I didn't mean any of it, I don't want to own you, I don't want you to be "mine", because now he's elevated his neediness and his fear of not having any betas into something horrible and toxic, and pulling out the blade he's put in this relationship is just going to seem like a rejection. He can't say he's not angry at Tate, either, because - because he is.
He still feels used. This was a desperate scramble to try and fix that, to try and keep something with Tate that he obviously never really had. Tate doesn't care about him. Tate doesn't care about the bite. Tate just - hates being rejected. Hated being rejected at the fort, hated being second to Stiles. He was just trying to get in good with Derek so he had a safety net between-- between the drugs, between Violet, between everything else.
This is one sided. Derek's - fine with that, if he has to be. He's not so invested in Tate's loyalty as to lose his mind if he doesn't have it. Maybe Tate was only ever a replacement for Erica and Boyd and Isaac, anyway. Maybe they were never meant to be close. Maybe he just needs to take a step back from this relationship altogether, maybe they don't need to be friends, maybe Tate's pain isn't his problem, maybe he should just smooth things over and completely remove himself from Tate's life. Maybe he just--
Fuck, he doesn't know what he needs to do. He just needs to stop Tate from hyperventilating. ]
Okay.
[ He tries to make his voice softer, but - he's Derek. ]
Okay, just - look at me.
[ There aren't any people around, really - Derek wouldn't have been talking about the bite so openly if there were - but he looks over his shoulders and doublechecks, just to be sure. He gets on his knees when he's sure the coast is clear, looks up at Tate, and steadily glows his eyes red. He tries to silently urge him to think of-- of blood, of the things that hurt, the things he shouldn't need as an escape. He doesn't know if Tate trusts him enough to make it work, but -
But the guilt is starting to set in. ]
I've got you. Okay? I'm sorry. Forget the hotel, forget - all of it. I'm not going to keep you prisoner or tell you who you can or can't see. I'm just scared.