[ Alright, maybe asking someone to sit in the fucking woods was a bad idea. First mistake. Derek looks guilty. ]
So - okay.
[ Second mistake - standing over Tate feels kind of shitty, so he drops to his knees to sit in front of him. He's really not sure how to approach this, so after drumming on his thighs, he just. Talks. ]
I grew up in the woods. Woods just like these. They were important to me. It's where I spent most of my time with my sisters, before they died. It's where I would go when I was angry, or upset, or when I needed to run until I passed out. It's where I had my first kiss. I loved those woods.
[ He won't go into how important they were, exactly, but. Suffice to say, they kept him calm, back before anger kept him calm instead. Before he had Stiles. ]
I got the impression - I mean, maybe I'm wrong - but it felt like you thought... training wasn't helping you. Teaching you to control yourself like a werewolf or - exist as my beta, instead of just as my friend - that wasn't helping you? You don't want blood as your anchor, and maybe I was... forcing that on you. I don't...
[ He doesn't know. He scratches the back of his neck again, then keeps his fists against his thighs. ]
So - I'm not - I'm not taking the bite off the table. If you want it - we can still do that. Later, when we're signed, maybe, unless you want it sooner. But. [ a pause. ]
Just - all of that was to help you, but maybe in my eagerness to... show you how I lived, show you what it meant to be a wolf, I went too far. I still want to share that part of my life with you, but I don't want it to be - negative. I thought I could tell you about my family, and about my connection to the woods, because I still want to trust you with all of this, I just... don't want it... to suck. Or something. I want you to know about my life.
[ He wants Tate to know about him, because he's forcing him to trust him, and he can't afford to fuck up on that investment. But. Whatever. This all sounds really fucking stupid, now that he's laid it out there. ]
This is weird. Nevermind. We should go cave hunting.
no subject
So - okay.
[ Second mistake - standing over Tate feels kind of shitty, so he drops to his knees to sit in front of him. He's really not sure how to approach this, so after drumming on his thighs, he just. Talks. ]
I grew up in the woods. Woods just like these. They were important to me. It's where I spent most of my time with my sisters, before they died. It's where I would go when I was angry, or upset, or when I needed to run until I passed out. It's where I had my first kiss. I loved those woods.
[ He won't go into how important they were, exactly, but. Suffice to say, they kept him calm, back before anger kept him calm instead. Before he had Stiles. ]
I got the impression - I mean, maybe I'm wrong - but it felt like you thought... training wasn't helping you. Teaching you to control yourself like a werewolf or - exist as my beta, instead of just as my friend - that wasn't helping you? You don't want blood as your anchor, and maybe I was... forcing that on you. I don't...
[ He doesn't know. He scratches the back of his neck again, then keeps his fists against his thighs. ]
So - I'm not - I'm not taking the bite off the table. If you want it - we can still do that. Later, when we're signed, maybe, unless you want it sooner. But. [ a pause. ]
Just - all of that was to help you, but maybe in my eagerness to... show you how I lived, show you what it meant to be a wolf, I went too far. I still want to share that part of my life with you, but I don't want it to be - negative. I thought I could tell you about my family, and about my connection to the woods, because I still want to trust you with all of this, I just... don't want it... to suck. Or something. I want you to know about my life.
[ He wants Tate to know about him, because he's forcing him to trust him, and he can't afford to fuck up on that investment. But. Whatever. This all sounds really fucking stupid, now that he's laid it out there. ]
This is weird. Nevermind. We should go cave hunting.