[ It's not a revelation, that Tate's afraid. Derek doesn't think it'll be a revelation when he says the same thing back, - ]
Me too.
[ - but maybe it will be. His voice is quiet and sounds like it hasn't been used for days, like he's exhausted and forcing the words out when they'd rather just sleep. It's not an excuse, but-- but they were both scared in the same direction, when Tate signed with somebody else. Tate scared Derek, and Derek scared Tate back. It was... bad.
Unhealthy, maybe. Derek bites the inside of his cheek while Tate talks, listening intently, not blinking in case he misses something. A skip in Tate's heartbeat that says he needs comfort, a twitch in his hand to show he's getting too nervous to talk. Anything. He listens. ]
You know that I don't... want you to change, right? There's no standard to meet here, like... like with your mom. I want to help you get better, but that's just because I want you to feel... happier. And I know that it's what you want, too.
[ And he doesn't want to sound like he's... enabling Tate not betting himself, but carefully, he adds - ]
I just like talking to you. Being around you. I like you as you are. Your dad would have, too, if he'd stayed to watch you grow up.
[ Every single one of Tate's episodes have been his fault, so. He can't sit here telling Tate he needs to change when he was the one who made him choke him in orientation, he was the one who made him feel left out at the fort, he was the one threatening to keep Tate against his will at the hotel. ]
no subject
Me too.
[ - but maybe it will be. His voice is quiet and sounds like it hasn't been used for days, like he's exhausted and forcing the words out when they'd rather just sleep. It's not an excuse, but-- but they were both scared in the same direction, when Tate signed with somebody else. Tate scared Derek, and Derek scared Tate back. It was... bad.
Unhealthy, maybe. Derek bites the inside of his cheek while Tate talks, listening intently, not blinking in case he misses something. A skip in Tate's heartbeat that says he needs comfort, a twitch in his hand to show he's getting too nervous to talk. Anything. He listens. ]
You know that I don't... want you to change, right? There's no standard to meet here, like... like with your mom. I want to help you get better, but that's just because I want you to feel... happier. And I know that it's what you want, too.
[ And he doesn't want to sound like he's... enabling Tate not betting himself, but carefully, he adds - ]
I just like talking to you. Being around you. I like you as you are. Your dad would have, too, if he'd stayed to watch you grow up.
[ Every single one of Tate's episodes have been his fault, so. He can't sit here telling Tate he needs to change when he was the one who made him choke him in orientation, he was the one who made him feel left out at the fort, he was the one threatening to keep Tate against his will at the hotel. ]