[ It's not a joke, it's just - self-deprecating. During that fight in the hotel, Derek had a moment, just for a second, where he saw Tate in such a low fucking light. Started second guessing the things they shared, the things Tate said. Tate threw the lie at the Fort back in his face like he never got over it, like that made Derek worse, and Derek's stomach feels like sand whenever he thinks back on that and wonders if Tate has all this resentment for him built up that he just - doesn't mention.
So he doesn't let himself think about it. Won't let himself think about it now, either. Tate asks why Derek doesn't think he means his promises, and Derek shrugs, not really answering, even when he talks. ]
Scared.
[ Scared of people leaving, same as Tate. Scared of not having Tate anymore. Scared of all this effort he's put into trusting him, letting him in, showing him all these things that matter so fucking much to him, liking him, pretty fucking close to loving him, all going nowhere. Derek doesn't want this to be like Kate again. Doesn't want to hurt like that anymore. Doesn't want to be in a position where he'd let someone bad in when he's sworn to protect Stiles from the reach of this fucking place.
He just - raises his hand, elbow in the ground, pinky limp but out. Surprisingly serious. About pinky swears. ]
no subject
So he doesn't let himself think about it. Won't let himself think about it now, either. Tate asks why Derek doesn't think he means his promises, and Derek shrugs, not really answering, even when he talks. ]
Scared.
[ Scared of people leaving, same as Tate. Scared of not having Tate anymore. Scared of all this effort he's put into trusting him, letting him in, showing him all these things that matter so fucking much to him, liking him, pretty fucking close to loving him, all going nowhere. Derek doesn't want this to be like Kate again. Doesn't want to hurt like that anymore. Doesn't want to be in a position where he'd let someone bad in when he's sworn to protect Stiles from the reach of this fucking place.
He just - raises his hand, elbow in the ground, pinky limp but out. Surprisingly serious. About pinky swears. ]