[ in spirit, if not literally. someone clears their throat behind derek, and he turns, seeing some submissive girl bowing her head and looking uncomfortable, like she's ashamed of herself for having to ask a dom to move. he swallows, holds up his hands apologetically and lets her past, and she scuttles down the path like she's ashamed of herself. it makes derek feel like shit, and that makes his paranoia worse, and he can feel himself starting to spiral, so he just - cuts it out. doesn't let himself dwell and worry over fucking nothing like he always does.
stiles tells him he'll be home soon and derek worries over fucking nothing like he always does, but starts heading towards the beach all the same. he keeps his head down and walks pretty fast, turning a corner so he doesn't have to run into that sub again. he taps out a message with his thumb, and he definitely. definitely. doesn't worry over fucking nothing. like he always does. so.
jot that down. ]
If this is important to you, it's important to me. Whatever's going on - I've got your back. I just want you to be happy. So. I mean, I might. Not act like it. At first. Or - ever. But that's just because I'm an asshole. And I'm not good at being with people. I mean, being with people. Like I am with you. If that makes sense. Not that I don't want to be with you. I do. I mean, not that that has any bearing on anything you might want to tell me? Just, yeah. Telling you ahead of time that your happiness is the most important thing to me. Even if I fuck that up.
[ even if he has a tantrum when stiles dumps him, is what he's trying to say. vaguely. so stiles doesn't feel like derek realizes he knows that stiles is about to dump him, which he definitely is. ]
no subject
You're a cop.
[ in spirit, if not literally. someone clears their throat behind derek, and he turns, seeing some submissive girl bowing her head and looking uncomfortable, like she's ashamed of herself for having to ask a dom to move. he swallows, holds up his hands apologetically and lets her past, and she scuttles down the path like she's ashamed of herself. it makes derek feel like shit, and that makes his paranoia worse, and he can feel himself starting to spiral, so he just - cuts it out. doesn't let himself dwell and worry over fucking nothing like he always does.
stiles tells him he'll be home soon and derek worries over fucking nothing like he always does, but starts heading towards the beach all the same. he keeps his head down and walks pretty fast, turning a corner so he doesn't have to run into that sub again. he taps out a message with his thumb, and he definitely. definitely. doesn't worry over fucking nothing. like he always does. so.
jot that down. ]
If this is important to you, it's important to me.
Whatever's going on - I've got your back. I just want you to be happy. So.
I mean, I might. Not act like it. At first. Or - ever.
But that's just because I'm an asshole. And I'm not good at being with people.
I mean, being with people. Like I am with you. If that makes sense.
Not that I don't want to be with you. I do.
I mean, not that that has any bearing on anything you might want to tell me?
Just, yeah. Telling you ahead of time that your happiness is the most important thing to me.
Even if I fuck that up.
[ even if he has a tantrum when stiles dumps him, is what he's trying to say. vaguely. so stiles doesn't feel like derek realizes he knows that stiles is about to dump him, which he definitely is. ]
Anyway. I'm nearly home.
I'll talk to you soon?