[ hmmm. hmmmm. stiles chews the inside of his cheek, thumbs drawing out little circles in the air above his phone screen. firstly, derek is not allowed to talk about blowing his load on some stiles lookalike because that's not fair and also it takes him back to the barracks for a second and it makes his skin a little warm. secondly.
secondly. ]
That's stupid. I thought the whole point was that you got used to sharing a bed with me. What's sleeping on the couch gonna solve?
[ a beat. that little typing bubble pops up and disappears a few times. just panicking a little, everything's fine. everything's stupid. ]
But I mean I could also sleep on the couch instead? It's your apartment. Or if you want to crash on the couch, that's cool too. I'm not the boss of you. But you don't have to. The beds in those apartments are pretty big from what I remember.
[ derek's trying to be pretty honest about missing stiles at night, even if he is masking that confession under layers and layers of friendly hostility and mild insults. but. when stiles pushes back and acts like he misses him too, that makes derek... nervous. pleased, but - nervous. ]
I'm not the boss of you, either. I mean - I am, sometimes. When I'm right, and you're wrong, and you're being too stupid and simple-minded to realize that I might know better than you. Which is often. But.
I don't want to feel like I'm the dom and you're the sub. I don't want to feel like I'm giving you orders because we have a contract. I want you to take my bed, because it's the most comfortable place to crash in my apartment, and. I can sleep on the floor, or the couch, or with you. But I'm not going to pull the bullet on... deciding between those options, because I don't want to feel like I'm ordering you to sleep beside me just because I miss you.
I don't know if you know this yet, but I'm usually always right. Like 95% of the time I actually know what I'm talking about 4% of the time I'm still right, I just don't have solid evidence to support whatever I'm right about. The other 1% is when I helped get you arrested that one time but everyone gets one.
[ anyway, not important. stiles shakes one of his hands out and flexes his fingers for a moment to expel some nervous energy. good nervous energy, because derek misses him, and that's nice, because stiles has been missing him too, and it feels good to know that that's not unrequited.
if anything, it gives him a little more confidence to be more forward and honest, even if it makes his stomach feel a little fluttery. ]
We're Derek and Stiles, remember? We signed that contract as Derek and Stiles first, dom and sub second. If I didn't want to share the bed with you, I wouldn't. But if you're worried about feeling like you're ordering me around Not just about this, but I mean in general Just ask me about whatever or if I want to do whatever? I'm not afraid to tell you no when I'm not okay with something
And for the record, I haven't been sleeping well either My bed is smaller than that cot and it still feels too big now I got used to you being next to me too. So if it's not already obvious I'll just say it: I'd really, really like it if you didn't sleep on the floor or the couch or anywhere else And slept next to me instead Because I miss that. Because I miss you too.
I didn't realize we were at a place where we could joke about my arrest.
[ ... he's just saying that to troll a little, because he actually doesn't feel as much resentment over the arrest as he did a few months ago. actually, he doesn't feel much resentment at all. having had the time to really get to know stiles a little better since his arrival, it's hard to hold a grudge against him for that, especially after stiles has actively apologized for his role in everything. stiles was young and overwhelmed and did the only thing a cop's kid would do to protect the people he cared about, and derek hadn't exactly made trusting him easy. he gets it.
which he should tell stiles. or at least allude to it. instead of acting offended. fuck, okay, hold on. ]
It's fine. The arrest. I know we've already talked about it, but. It's seriously okay. I'm not mad. Might be mad at you when I go back home and you're back to being stupid and twelve years old, but. Not mad at you now.
[ and... a delay, now that he's bought some time before hitting the part of stiles' message that makes his chest stir and his throat feel a little tight. when was the last time someone missed him? really, genuinely missed him. maybe that's... never actually happened before. give him a second. ]
Okay. I mean - that's what I'm trying to do. Ask you how you feel. I'm doing that poorly, but I'm still... doing that. So. Bed. Then. Soon. If you want. Which you do. As well. Also. Like me.
I mean, it's not fine. It was never fine. But I get what you're saying. Also shut up? If anyone's stupid and twelve years old, it's definitely you.
[ but. stiles doesn't actually want to think about what's going to happen when they're dismissed and sent back home, whenever that may be. derek certainly won't be there, which is. it doesn't matter, he's not thinking about it.
laughing at derek's very obvious awkwardness is a much better plan. ugh, it's.... cute. u g h. gross. ]
Relax, it's just a bed, not an original copy of Romeo and Juliet.
[ yeah, take that. that's what you get for making fun of him for being excited about a shower. ]
Do you want to order pizza or something? Burgers? Literally anything? It's tuna fish in the caf today and I'm not all that thrilled about the potential for food poisoning, so. I have cash if you want to order out, I can pay half Or you can pay half with my money, whatever.
I'm older than you. You're years ahead of me, and I'm still older than you. You're twelve? You're so twelve. Stupid little baby. Crying and shitting in your diapers all day. That's you. Big pissy baby shitty diapers boy.
[ anyway. the romeo and juliet burn is a good one. he's not going to acknowledge that, because stiles is a diaper baby, but he does take a second to appreciate the fact that stiles keeps using shakespeare against him. just because - it means - he knows him? it's a nice feeling. one that derek still isn't used to. it really has been a long time since he's had, like. a friend.
or whatever it is they are. ]
I was going to pick something up. I'm hosting. I should take care of food. You promised that I could bring you food, sometimes. We never got a chance to really do that. So. Leave it to me. And then. When you host. You can take care of food. You know, if I ever feel like sleeping in a roach-infested parasite-riddled murder-den. That seems fair.
Sounds like something a twelve year old would say.
[ but listen. stiles only keeps falling back on romeo and juliet and shakespeare in general because he's still kind of... fascinated? impressed, maybe. he never would have pegged derek as someone who'd be into shakespeare, but - well, he probably did have a semi-normal life, before kate burned everything down around him. he was a normal kid once, a kid that tragedy hadn't touched yet.
stiles teases, but he doesn't mean any actual harm. ]
Last time I tried to feed you when you were at my place you dumped my crackers on the bed and refused to split a sandwich with me. Like a big picky baby. Like a picky twelve year old. You're a terrible dinner guest. See if I ever invite you over to eat again. Anyway, I'm cool with whatever you want to pick up. Literally anything, I'm not picky. Wait, you're gonna pick up something super weird if I say that just to be an ass. I'm cool with most non-weird things. As long as there's no celery in anything I'm good.
[ because he's a human with a food allergy. go humans. ]
You would know. Being twelve. And being stupid. And twelve.
[ fucking checkmate. stiles calls him out on his tablemanners and he doesn't have a solid rebuttal to that, other than a hard sigh and a roll of his eyes, which won't really do anything over text. he realizes, suddenly, that he's smiling. first time he's smiled all week. ]
You're so annoying. I don't like you. I don't know how anyone could ever like you. Fine. There'll be minimal celery. Maybe. If I remember.
[ that should be enough - they've probably talked more than they needed to already. derek should just shut his phone off, let stiles get ready for rosalind. ... bbbut.
he... still misses him. ]
Can we keep talking until you're at Rosalind's? About. Anything. I don't care.
In those two years you've got on me, did I ever make good on that promise to punch you in the face? Because - I mean - I still could. As soon as you get here. Really knock some of those teeth loose.
[ okay this isn't how you talk to a friend. can't tell stiles they're friends and then threaten to punch his teeth out two days later. he's still not good at being on his best behaviour apparently. ]
I can deal with bitching. Celery pizza it is. What are you doing at Rosalind's? Other than forcing yourself to stomach whatever obnoxious, horrible bullshit her terrible personality is putting you through.
[ also he doesn't like rosalind. or, well, no, she's fine, but he's actively committed to disliking her even though he doesn't need to be. ]
You've shoved my face into a wall? Pretty sure that's basically the same thing. Punch me in the face though and I swear to God, I'll punch you in your bad arm SO hard.
Haha, wow. Somehow I'm not surprised at all that you and Rosalind don't get along. What'd she say to you that pissed you off so much?
Anyway, I'm kind of her assistant? Like it's not an official title or anything, but I spend an hour or two with her like twice a week and help with whatever it is she's working on. Or try to help, sometimes I'm just there to hand her things when she asks for them. She helps me out, so I help her out too.
[ because that's the payment system they agreed upon when he asked for her help in making shady lab adderall, but. details. ]
[ that's-- wow, that shouldn't affect him the way it does. shoves his face into a wall? that's... oh. that's something. derek doesn't... uh... wow, jeez, is it hot in here? did someone fuck with his apartment's thermostat, or something? yikes yikes yikes. he decides to not... comment... on... that. yeah. moving on. ]
A lot of things. I don't like her. I was an idiot. Told her I was a werewolf. Shouldn't have done that. But she said she knew you. I thought you trusted each other. I was kind of screwed up from the fort. Thought it'd be okay. Wasn't. She called me "werewolf." Like that. Like - werewolf. She told me about... synthetic blood. For vampires. That she made. Didn't seem to understand why I thought one person controlling a food source for an entire population of people that could turn violent without it seemed like something to be wary of. I don't know. I don't trust her.
[ not that he trusts anyone. rosalind isn't half as bad as he's making it out to be, but. he's embarrassed about letting his guard down, so he's going to assume the worst about her until they work it out. maybe. it's stupid. this whole thing is stupid. derek is stupid. ]
She said you were her assistant. Said she made something for you. Wouldn't tell me what, when I asked. Which is fine. I shouldn't be snooping around in your life. Old habits.
She told me that you told her. I didn't ask why or anything. I just figured you knew what you were doing Even if that seems like, I dunno, the worst idea on the planet. She's good people though, even if you don't like her.
[ stiles pauses for a second after dropping some socks into his backpack. he scratches at his jaw, debates whether or not he should provide this next bit of information. in the end, he decides it's okay, because rosalind met him in public and wasn't making any attempt to hide what she is. ]
Besides, she's a vampire now. I guess. So I don't think you have to worry about her having some aversion to supernatural creatures. I mean unless you plan to have some kind of cheesy Twilight showdown or whatever.
She wouldn't tell you because it wouldn't be professional of her. And she's really big on being professional and presenting a certain image Trust me, she ripped me apart once for the way I dress. But that much is true, that she makes something for me. I don't actually know if you know this? But I have ADHD. I take Adderall for it, but I don't really feel good about getting it from the city. So we make it in her lab on the down low. It took us a while to get it right First batch made me super sick actually. But we got it right and now it's easy, if time consuming.
[ he can't justify his choice to talk, really. he spent his entire life hiding what he is, because whenever he didn't, people died. paige, his family. but then he became an alpha, and then he lost his pack, and then he was scrambling for power and security in the fort through every avenue he could find, and then he met rosalind, who worked with stiles and seemed to trust him, so he didn't peg her as a threat, and he thought... maybe if he had just said yeah, i'm an alpha, i'm a werewolf, i'm big and i'm tough and i'm scary and i'm strong, he would have felt the way he was supposed to? in control.
but he didn't. she just made him feel like an idiot, because that's how he was acting, and he feels stupid every time he thinks about it, and that's why he doesn't like her. but he can't say that to stiles. and he can't say that to rosalind. he just has to dig his heels in, act tough. wait until he finds a way to dislike himself less for his mistakes. which, you know. good luck. ]
Anyway. Yeah. You're right. I've never heard of a self-loathing vampire before. I've never heard of a self-loathing supernatural creature before, for that matter. Totally trust her, now. Nailed it. Rift mended. (And you do dress pretty poorly.)
[ a pause. ]
Sorry. ADHD. I should have known that. Should have rummaged around in your bedroom more. I always just thought you were kind of a spaz. I didn't realize.
[ wait, that's a shitty apology. eh, it's fine, stiles probably knows what he means. more importantly: ]
Look, all I'm saying is that she's probably not going to try to kill an entire species by poisoning their food source considering it's also her food source, now. You don't have to trust her. I really don't care if you do. But I trust her, and you can trust me. But also, screw your opinion? My clothes are fine. You wear a henley and super tight jeans like, all the time. I don't think you have any room to talk to me about how I dress, you walking GAP Ad.
Nothing really happened, I just got really headachey and threw up like four times in a trashcan. Not my finest moment.
I do trust you. More than anyone, actually. It's just a lot of power for one person to have. I keep thinking of ways it could be abused. Addiction. Blackmail What if she didn't fuck up that first batch of adderall? What if she's secretly been working on some kind of... like... really potent poison this entire time, and she used you as a prototype to test how it would affect humans... so that she could adjust it for vampires... or something? You never know. Don't tell me I'm wrong. It's not impossible. She's smart. She could be an evil mastermind. You don't know.
[ kate would have poisoned the shit out of vampires if she were in charge of their food supply, so. yeah. this actually doesn't have anything to do with rosalind, it turns out. anyway. wow, let's move on from that, too. ]
Whatever. Anyway. You literally just called me a model. Wow, I'm so offended.
It's not impossible. But I literally brought all the ingredients and components to her the first time. I was there the entire time we were trying to make it. I told her exactly what Adderall is composed of (I was paranoid when I was first diagnosed as a kid and I did a lot of research, it's a long story) And we went from there until we got the right balance of chemicals. She wasn't trying to poison me, Derek. But I get why you're uneasy. I can ask to start assisting with the synthetic blood work if that'll make you feel better. Keep an eye on it.
I didn't call you a model. You're stupid, your clothes are stupid. All of it, stupid. Like you.
No. You trust her. I don't. This is my problem. If I'm the one that's worried about this, I'm the one that should do something. Besides, if she turns out to be dangerous, I don't want you getting any closer to her than you have to be. I'll talk to her. Ask if I can help her with the blood thing, in exchange for... something. I don't know. Werewolf adderall. If you're okay with me doing something like that.
Anyway. You're stupid. You dress like a lumberjack that never went through puberty.
Werewolf adderall. That's totally believable. She definitely won't question that at all. Totally legit.
[ stiles doesn't actually know how much rosalind knows about werewolves, aside from the fact that they exist, thanks to derek, but he knows she's intelligent. she'd spot the bluff immediately. ]
Rosalind's one of the first people I met when I first got here We're already pretty close But you can do whatever you want Well, you can do whatever she allows you do to do as far as being in her lab goes.
[ stiles has literally never been like, fashion forward, and he doesn't care to be. he prefers to wear what's comfortable and what he likes, but rosalind went in on him pretty hard and said some borderline mean things about his clothes and what impression he gives off and how nobody will ever take him seriously, as if his clothes have more value than his intelligence.
and now derek. like, stiles knows derek is kidding. but is he though? stiles pauses with his hand over his backpack. instead of putting the flannel in his hand inside, he sets it next to his bag instead and frowns a little at his phone. hmm. ]
I'll think of something better than werewolf adderall.
[ it's hard for derek to get a read on whether or not stiles is unhappy with how he's talking about rosalind, but he's not going to obsess over it. he's a little annoyed that stiles, of all people, is this trusting, but. maybe derek's just... extra paranoid, after veracity. doesn't matter either way. ]
No. I'm just teasing. Trying to be funny. Never been my strong suit. You dress like... you. And I like you. So. I wouldn't want you to change. If that makes sense.
[ if stiles is honest, the more derek keeps questioning rosalind's intentions, the more doubt starts to creep in. he knows rosalind, though. after derek, rosalind is probably the one person here that he knows best. he doesn't get any bad vibes about her, not like the way he did with theo. but.
derek's not wrong to feel the way he does. maybe he's the one with the gut instinct this time. stiles tries not to think about it too much, at least for now, because if he does, he's going to end up acting all awkward around rosalind and she'll bully it out of him and that's just. not something he's up for today. ]
Yeah, okay. Thanks.
[ cool. now things feel weird. he made things awkward by being insecure over something he shouldn't even care about. good job, stiles.
he pinches the inside of his lower lip between his teeth, breathes out as he stares at the little pile of plaid next to his backpack. he could just leave it, bring an extra hoodie instead and pretend it's just pure coincidence tha he happened to show up without an overshirt. or.
or he could just pick it up and shove it in his bag and not care what anyone things. derek likes him which means he likes his dumb shirts by extension. he's thinking too much and he needs to stop. ]
Did you get around to tracking down a chess board yet?
[ things... do feel weird, yeah. there's nothing else derek wants to say about rosalind, and stiles doesn't seem to think there's anything else to say about his clothes. there's this pall cast over them that stiles is trying to push through by changing topic, but. derek's stubborn, and he doesn't think stiles believes him, so he wants to just... say what he means with a little more conviction before they move on for good. ]
Stiles. I'm serious. I like how you dress. I already told you. I think you're attractive. Style included. I wouldn't lie to you about this. Stop being stupid. Okay? You're cute.
[ this past week he has literally jerked off to the thought of stiles wearing nothing but an open flannel shirt and it was a cumbersome and difficult experience because he had to use his other hand because his usual one is connected to an arm with a fucking bullet hole in it. he will fucking say that, if he has to. he's annoyed enough to do it, don't test him. stiles is fine.
[ that's all he has to say to that, apparently. but he does smile a little even if he tries to hide it by pressing his lips together, and he puts the plaid shirt in his bag, so. stiles is fine, both emotionally and physically. yeah.
he does a little three-sixty turn to look around his room for whatever else he might need to bring for a night away. a night and day away, maybe... two? ]
Wait, really? Can we play later? I won't make you do a million crunches.
[ stile included. yes. derek is still annoyed, because this still reads like stiles is being dismissive so he doesn't have to outwardly disagree with derek, and that's fucking annoying? derek wants to corner him and just compliment his ugly face and his stupid hair until he forces stiles to say, word for word, that his ugly face is perfect and his stupid hair is the best.
but whatever. fine. stile included. be like that. you idiot. you idiot baby. derek is going to shove him the second he walks into the apartment and refuse to explain why. ]
Yes. But make no mistake. When I win, I will make you do a million crunches.
[ look, stiles just doesn't really know what to say in response to being complimented, considering it's not very often that anyone compliments him. which is fine, he doesn't need validation or anything, he doesn't necessarily need anyone else's approval. it's nice, though. it feels... good. but like most things he isn't sure how to approach, he handles it with humor. no one should be surprised.
anyway. how dare derek talk to the king like that. ]
Are you sure you know how to play chess? Because we can't both win. So I don't want you to get your hopes up thinking there's some kind of participation trophy for you after you're obliterated.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
secondly. ]
That's stupid.
I thought the whole point was that you got used to sharing a bed with me.
What's sleeping on the couch gonna solve?
[ a beat. that little typing bubble pops up and disappears a few times. just panicking a little, everything's fine. everything's stupid. ]
But I mean I could also sleep on the couch instead?
It's your apartment.
Or if you want to crash on the couch, that's cool too.
I'm not the boss of you.
But you don't have to.
The beds in those apartments are pretty big from what I remember.
no subject
I'm not the boss of you, either.
I mean - I am, sometimes. When I'm right, and you're wrong, and you're being too stupid and simple-minded to realize that I might know better than you. Which is often.
But.
I don't want to feel like I'm the dom and you're the sub. I don't want to feel like I'm giving you orders because we have a contract.
I want you to take my bed, because it's the most comfortable place to crash in my apartment, and. I can sleep on the floor, or the couch, or with you.
But I'm not going to pull the bullet on... deciding between those options, because I don't want to feel like I'm ordering you to sleep beside me just because I miss you.
[ so. yeah. ]
Which I do.
To be clear.
Miss you.
no subject
Like 95% of the time I actually know what I'm talking about
4% of the time I'm still right, I just don't have solid evidence to support whatever I'm right about.
The other 1% is when I helped get you arrested that one time but everyone gets one.
[ anyway, not important. stiles shakes one of his hands out and flexes his fingers for a moment to expel some nervous energy. good nervous energy, because derek misses him, and that's nice, because stiles has been missing him too, and it feels good to know that that's not unrequited.
if anything, it gives him a little more confidence to be more forward and honest, even if it makes his stomach feel a little fluttery. ]
We're Derek and Stiles, remember?
We signed that contract as Derek and Stiles first, dom and sub second.
If I didn't want to share the bed with you, I wouldn't.
But if you're worried about feeling like you're ordering me around
Not just about this, but I mean in general
Just ask me about whatever or if I want to do whatever?
I'm not afraid to tell you no when I'm not okay with something
And for the record, I haven't been sleeping well either
My bed is smaller than that cot and it still feels too big now
I got used to you being next to me too.
So if it's not already obvious I'll just say it:
I'd really, really like it if you didn't sleep on the floor or the couch or anywhere else
And slept next to me instead
Because I miss that.
Because I miss you too.
no subject
[ ... he's just saying that to troll a little, because he actually doesn't feel as much resentment over the arrest as he did a few months ago. actually, he doesn't feel much resentment at all. having had the time to really get to know stiles a little better since his arrival, it's hard to hold a grudge against him for that, especially after stiles has actively apologized for his role in everything. stiles was young and overwhelmed and did the only thing a cop's kid would do to protect the people he cared about, and derek hadn't exactly made trusting him easy. he gets it.
which he should tell stiles. or at least allude to it. instead of acting offended. fuck, okay, hold on. ]
It's fine. The arrest.
I know we've already talked about it, but. It's seriously okay. I'm not mad.
Might be mad at you when I go back home and you're back to being stupid and twelve years old, but. Not mad at you now.
[ and... a delay, now that he's bought some time before hitting the part of stiles' message that makes his chest stir and his throat feel a little tight. when was the last time someone missed him? really, genuinely missed him. maybe that's... never actually happened before. give him a second. ]
Okay.
I mean - that's what I'm trying to do.
Ask you how you feel.
I'm doing that poorly, but I'm still... doing that. So.
Bed. Then.
Soon.
If you want. Which you do. As well. Also. Like me.
no subject
It was never fine.
But I get what you're saying.
Also shut up?
If anyone's stupid and twelve years old, it's definitely you.
[ but. stiles doesn't actually want to think about what's going to happen when they're dismissed and sent back home, whenever that may be. derek certainly won't be there, which is. it doesn't matter, he's not thinking about it.
laughing at derek's very obvious awkwardness is a much better plan. ugh, it's.... cute. u g h. gross. ]
Relax, it's just a bed, not an original copy of Romeo and Juliet.
[ yeah, take that. that's what you get for making fun of him for being excited about a shower. ]
Do you want to order pizza or something?
Burgers? Literally anything?
It's tuna fish in the caf today and I'm not all that thrilled about the potential for food poisoning, so.
I have cash if you want to order out, I can pay half
Or you can pay half with my money, whatever.
no subject
You're twelve? You're so twelve. Stupid little baby. Crying and shitting in your diapers all day. That's you. Big pissy baby shitty diapers boy.
[ anyway. the romeo and juliet burn is a good one. he's not going to acknowledge that, because stiles is a diaper baby, but he does take a second to appreciate the fact that stiles keeps using shakespeare against him. just because - it means - he knows him? it's a nice feeling. one that derek still isn't used to. it really has been a long time since he's had, like. a friend.
or whatever it is they are. ]
I was going to pick something up.
I'm hosting. I should take care of food. You promised that I could bring you food, sometimes. We never got a chance to really do that.
So. Leave it to me.
And then. When you host. You can take care of food.
You know, if I ever feel like sleeping in a roach-infested parasite-riddled murder-den.
That seems fair.
no subject
[ but listen. stiles only keeps falling back on romeo and juliet and shakespeare in general because he's still kind of... fascinated? impressed, maybe. he never would have pegged derek as someone who'd be into shakespeare, but - well, he probably did have a semi-normal life, before kate burned everything down around him. he was a normal kid once, a kid that tragedy hadn't touched yet.
stiles teases, but he doesn't mean any actual harm. ]
Last time I tried to feed you when you were at my place you dumped my crackers on the bed and refused to split a sandwich with me.
Like a big picky baby.
Like a picky twelve year old.
You're a terrible dinner guest.
See if I ever invite you over to eat again.
Anyway, I'm cool with whatever you want to pick up.
Literally anything, I'm not picky.
Wait, you're gonna pick up something super weird if I say that just to be an ass.
I'm cool with most non-weird things.
As long as there's no celery in anything I'm good.
[ because he's a human with a food allergy. go humans. ]
no subject
[ fucking checkmate. stiles calls him out on his tablemanners and he doesn't have a solid rebuttal to that, other than a hard sigh and a roll of his eyes, which won't really do anything over text. he realizes, suddenly, that he's smiling. first time he's smiled all week. ]
You're so annoying. I don't like you. I don't know how anyone could ever like you.
Fine. There'll be minimal celery. Maybe. If I remember.
[ that should be enough - they've probably talked more than they needed to already. derek should just shut his phone off, let stiles get ready for rosalind. ... bbbut.
he... still misses him. ]
Can we keep talking until you're at Rosalind's?
About. Anything. I don't care.
no subject
You like me. so. much.
I'm the best. Everyone likes me.
[ false, but stiles isn't taking himself seriously at all.]
Zero celery or you're eating alone.
That, or you deal with me bitching at you when I get hives and super nauseated.
You pick.
We can keep talking, yeah.
I'm just packing a bag
For later
So I don't have to backtrack
Talk.
I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about.
no subject
Because - I mean - I still could. As soon as you get here.
Really knock some of those teeth loose.
[ okay this isn't how you talk to a friend. can't tell stiles they're friends and then threaten to punch his teeth out two days later. he's still not good at being on his best behaviour apparently. ]
I can deal with bitching. Celery pizza it is.
What are you doing at Rosalind's?
Other than forcing yourself to stomach whatever obnoxious, horrible bullshit her terrible personality is putting you through.
[ also he doesn't like rosalind. or, well, no, she's fine, but he's actively committed to disliking her even though he doesn't need to be. ]
no subject
Pretty sure that's basically the same thing.
Punch me in the face though and I swear to God, I'll punch you in your bad arm SO hard.
Haha, wow.
Somehow I'm not surprised at all that you and Rosalind don't get along.
What'd she say to you that pissed you off so much?
Anyway, I'm kind of her assistant?
Like it's not an official title or anything, but I spend an hour or two with her like twice a week and help with whatever it is she's working on.
Or try to help, sometimes I'm just there to hand her things when she asks for them.
She helps me out, so I help her out too.
[ because that's the payment system they agreed upon when he asked for her help in making shady lab adderall, but. details. ]
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A lot of things. I don't like her.
I was an idiot. Told her I was a werewolf. Shouldn't have done that.
But she said she knew you. I thought you trusted each other. I was kind of screwed up from the fort. Thought it'd be okay.
Wasn't. She called me "werewolf." Like that. Like - werewolf.
She told me about... synthetic blood. For vampires. That she made. Didn't seem to understand why I thought one person controlling a food source for an entire population of people that could turn violent without it seemed like something to be wary of.
I don't know.
I don't trust her.
[ not that he trusts anyone. rosalind isn't half as bad as he's making it out to be, but. he's embarrassed about letting his guard down, so he's going to assume the worst about her until they work it out. maybe. it's stupid. this whole thing is stupid. derek is stupid. ]
She said you were her assistant.
Said she made something for you.
Wouldn't tell me what, when I asked.
Which is fine.
I shouldn't be snooping around in your life.
Old habits.
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I didn't ask why or anything.
I just figured you knew what you were doing
Even if that seems like, I dunno, the worst idea on the planet.
She's good people though, even if you don't like her.
[ stiles pauses for a second after dropping some socks into his backpack. he scratches at his jaw, debates whether or not he should provide this next bit of information. in the end, he decides it's okay, because rosalind met him in public and wasn't making any attempt to hide what she is. ]
Besides, she's a vampire now. I guess.
So I don't think you have to worry about her having some aversion to supernatural creatures.
I mean unless you plan to have some kind of cheesy Twilight showdown or whatever.
She wouldn't tell you because it wouldn't be professional of her.
And she's really big on being professional and presenting a certain image
Trust me, she ripped me apart once for the way I dress.
But that much is true, that she makes something for me.
I don't actually know if you know this? But I have ADHD.
I take Adderall for it, but I don't really feel good about getting it from the city.
So we make it in her lab on the down low.
It took us a while to get it right
First batch made me super sick actually.
But we got it right and now it's easy, if time consuming.
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[ he can't justify his choice to talk, really. he spent his entire life hiding what he is, because whenever he didn't, people died. paige, his family. but then he became an alpha, and then he lost his pack, and then he was scrambling for power and security in the fort through every avenue he could find, and then he met rosalind, who worked with stiles and seemed to trust him, so he didn't peg her as a threat, and he thought... maybe if he had just said yeah, i'm an alpha, i'm a werewolf, i'm big and i'm tough and i'm scary and i'm strong, he would have felt the way he was supposed to? in control.
but he didn't. she just made him feel like an idiot, because that's how he was acting, and he feels stupid every time he thinks about it, and that's why he doesn't like her. but he can't say that to stiles. and he can't say that to rosalind. he just has to dig his heels in, act tough. wait until he finds a way to dislike himself less for his mistakes. which, you know. good luck. ]
Anyway.
Yeah.
You're right. I've never heard of a self-loathing vampire before. I've never heard of a self-loathing supernatural creature before, for that matter.
Totally trust her, now. Nailed it. Rift mended.
(And you do dress pretty poorly.)
[ a pause. ]
Sorry. ADHD. I should have known that. Should have rummaged around in your bedroom more.
I always just thought you were kind of a spaz. I didn't realize.
[ wait, that's a shitty apology. eh, it's fine, stiles probably knows what he means. more importantly: ]
What do you mean "super sick"? What happened?
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You don't have to trust her.
I really don't care if you do.
But I trust her, and you can trust me.
But also, screw your opinion?
My clothes are fine.
You wear a henley and super tight jeans like, all the time.
I don't think you have any room to talk to me about how I dress, you walking GAP Ad.
Nothing really happened, I just got really headachey and threw up like four times in a trashcan.
Not my finest moment.
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It's just a lot of power for one person to have. I keep thinking of ways it could be abused.
Addiction. Blackmail
What if she didn't fuck up that first batch of adderall? What if she's secretly been working on some kind of... like... really potent poison this entire time, and she used you as a prototype to test how it would affect humans... so that she could adjust it for vampires... or something?
You never know. Don't tell me I'm wrong. It's not impossible. She's smart. She could be an evil mastermind. You don't know.
[ kate would have poisoned the shit out of vampires if she were in charge of their food supply, so. yeah. this actually doesn't have anything to do with rosalind, it turns out. anyway. wow, let's move on from that, too. ]
Whatever. Anyway.
You literally just called me a model. Wow, I'm so offended.
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But I literally brought all the ingredients and components to her the first time.
I was there the entire time we were trying to make it.
I told her exactly what Adderall is composed of
(I was paranoid when I was first diagnosed as a kid and I did a lot of research, it's a long story)
And we went from there until we got the right balance of chemicals.
She wasn't trying to poison me, Derek.
But I get why you're uneasy.
I can ask to start assisting with the synthetic blood work if that'll make you feel better.
Keep an eye on it.
I didn't call you a model.
You're stupid, your clothes are stupid.
All of it, stupid.
Like you.
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[ stubborn. and stupid. ]
No. You trust her. I don't. This is my problem.
If I'm the one that's worried about this, I'm the one that should do something.
Besides, if she turns out to be dangerous, I don't want you getting any closer to her than you have to be.
I'll talk to her. Ask if I can help her with the blood thing, in exchange for... something. I don't know. Werewolf adderall.
If you're okay with me doing something like that.
Anyway.
You're stupid.
You dress like a lumberjack that never went through puberty.
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That's totally believable.
She definitely won't question that at all.
Totally legit.
[ stiles doesn't actually know how much rosalind knows about werewolves, aside from the fact that they exist, thanks to derek, but he knows she's intelligent. she'd spot the bluff immediately. ]
Rosalind's one of the first people I met when I first got here
We're already pretty close
But you can do whatever you want
Well, you can do whatever she allows you do to do as far as being in her lab goes.
[ stiles has literally never been like, fashion forward, and he doesn't care to be. he prefers to wear what's comfortable and what he likes, but rosalind went in on him pretty hard and said some borderline mean things about his clothes and what impression he gives off and how nobody will ever take him seriously, as if his clothes have more value than his intelligence.
and now derek. like, stiles knows derek is kidding. but is he though? stiles pauses with his hand over his backpack. instead of putting the flannel in his hand inside, he sets it next to his bag instead and frowns a little at his phone. hmm. ]
Is it really that bad?
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[ it's hard for derek to get a read on whether or not stiles is unhappy with how he's talking about rosalind, but he's not going to obsess over it. he's a little annoyed that stiles, of all people, is this trusting, but. maybe derek's just... extra paranoid, after veracity. doesn't matter either way. ]
No.
I'm just teasing. Trying to be funny. Never been my strong suit.
You dress like... you. And I like you. So. I wouldn't want you to change.
If that makes sense.
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derek's not wrong to feel the way he does. maybe he's the one with the gut instinct this time. stiles tries not to think about it too much, at least for now, because if he does, he's going to end up acting all awkward around rosalind and she'll bully it out of him and that's just. not something he's up for today. ]
Yeah, okay.
Thanks.
[ cool. now things feel weird. he made things awkward by being insecure over something he shouldn't even care about. good job, stiles.
he pinches the inside of his lower lip between his teeth, breathes out as he stares at the little pile of plaid next to his backpack. he could just leave it, bring an extra hoodie instead and pretend it's just pure coincidence tha he happened to show up without an overshirt. or.
or he could just pick it up and shove it in his bag and not care what anyone things. derek likes him which means he likes his dumb shirts by extension. he's thinking too much and he needs to stop. ]
Did you get around to tracking down a chess board yet?
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Stiles. I'm serious.
I like how you dress.
I already told you. I think you're attractive.
Style included.
I wouldn't lie to you about this.
Stop being stupid. Okay?
You're cute.
[ this past week he has literally jerked off to the thought of stiles wearing nothing but an open flannel shirt and it was a cumbersome and difficult experience because he had to use his other hand because his usual one is connected to an arm with a fucking bullet hole in it. he will fucking say that, if he has to. he's annoyed enough to do it, don't test him. stiles is fine.
anyway, jesus. chess board. ]
I did buy a chess board.
[ bought it as soon as he could. ]
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[ that's all he has to say to that, apparently. but he does smile a little even if he tries to hide it by pressing his lips together, and he puts the plaid shirt in his bag, so. stiles is fine, both emotionally and physically. yeah.
he does a little three-sixty turn to look around his room for whatever else he might need to bring for a night away. a night and day away, maybe... two? ]
Wait, really?
Can we play later?
I won't make you do a million crunches.
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but whatever. fine. stile included. be like that. you idiot. you idiot baby. derek is going to shove him the second he walks into the apartment and refuse to explain why. ]
Yes.
But make no mistake.
When I win, I will make you do a million crunches.
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anyway. how dare derek talk to the king like that. ]
Are you sure you know how to play chess?
Because we can't both win.
So I don't want you to get your hopes up thinking there's some kind of participation trophy for you after you're obliterated.
[ stiles is so dead if he loses, good lord. ]
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