You've shoved my face into a wall? Pretty sure that's basically the same thing. Punch me in the face though and I swear to God, I'll punch you in your bad arm SO hard.
Haha, wow. Somehow I'm not surprised at all that you and Rosalind don't get along. What'd she say to you that pissed you off so much?
Anyway, I'm kind of her assistant? Like it's not an official title or anything, but I spend an hour or two with her like twice a week and help with whatever it is she's working on. Or try to help, sometimes I'm just there to hand her things when she asks for them. She helps me out, so I help her out too.
[ because that's the payment system they agreed upon when he asked for her help in making shady lab adderall, but. details. ]
[ that's-- wow, that shouldn't affect him the way it does. shoves his face into a wall? that's... oh. that's something. derek doesn't... uh... wow, jeez, is it hot in here? did someone fuck with his apartment's thermostat, or something? yikes yikes yikes. he decides to not... comment... on... that. yeah. moving on. ]
A lot of things. I don't like her. I was an idiot. Told her I was a werewolf. Shouldn't have done that. But she said she knew you. I thought you trusted each other. I was kind of screwed up from the fort. Thought it'd be okay. Wasn't. She called me "werewolf." Like that. Like - werewolf. She told me about... synthetic blood. For vampires. That she made. Didn't seem to understand why I thought one person controlling a food source for an entire population of people that could turn violent without it seemed like something to be wary of. I don't know. I don't trust her.
[ not that he trusts anyone. rosalind isn't half as bad as he's making it out to be, but. he's embarrassed about letting his guard down, so he's going to assume the worst about her until they work it out. maybe. it's stupid. this whole thing is stupid. derek is stupid. ]
She said you were her assistant. Said she made something for you. Wouldn't tell me what, when I asked. Which is fine. I shouldn't be snooping around in your life. Old habits.
She told me that you told her. I didn't ask why or anything. I just figured you knew what you were doing Even if that seems like, I dunno, the worst idea on the planet. She's good people though, even if you don't like her.
[ stiles pauses for a second after dropping some socks into his backpack. he scratches at his jaw, debates whether or not he should provide this next bit of information. in the end, he decides it's okay, because rosalind met him in public and wasn't making any attempt to hide what she is. ]
Besides, she's a vampire now. I guess. So I don't think you have to worry about her having some aversion to supernatural creatures. I mean unless you plan to have some kind of cheesy Twilight showdown or whatever.
She wouldn't tell you because it wouldn't be professional of her. And she's really big on being professional and presenting a certain image Trust me, she ripped me apart once for the way I dress. But that much is true, that she makes something for me. I don't actually know if you know this? But I have ADHD. I take Adderall for it, but I don't really feel good about getting it from the city. So we make it in her lab on the down low. It took us a while to get it right First batch made me super sick actually. But we got it right and now it's easy, if time consuming.
[ he can't justify his choice to talk, really. he spent his entire life hiding what he is, because whenever he didn't, people died. paige, his family. but then he became an alpha, and then he lost his pack, and then he was scrambling for power and security in the fort through every avenue he could find, and then he met rosalind, who worked with stiles and seemed to trust him, so he didn't peg her as a threat, and he thought... maybe if he had just said yeah, i'm an alpha, i'm a werewolf, i'm big and i'm tough and i'm scary and i'm strong, he would have felt the way he was supposed to? in control.
but he didn't. she just made him feel like an idiot, because that's how he was acting, and he feels stupid every time he thinks about it, and that's why he doesn't like her. but he can't say that to stiles. and he can't say that to rosalind. he just has to dig his heels in, act tough. wait until he finds a way to dislike himself less for his mistakes. which, you know. good luck. ]
Anyway. Yeah. You're right. I've never heard of a self-loathing vampire before. I've never heard of a self-loathing supernatural creature before, for that matter. Totally trust her, now. Nailed it. Rift mended. (And you do dress pretty poorly.)
[ a pause. ]
Sorry. ADHD. I should have known that. Should have rummaged around in your bedroom more. I always just thought you were kind of a spaz. I didn't realize.
[ wait, that's a shitty apology. eh, it's fine, stiles probably knows what he means. more importantly: ]
Look, all I'm saying is that she's probably not going to try to kill an entire species by poisoning their food source considering it's also her food source, now. You don't have to trust her. I really don't care if you do. But I trust her, and you can trust me. But also, screw your opinion? My clothes are fine. You wear a henley and super tight jeans like, all the time. I don't think you have any room to talk to me about how I dress, you walking GAP Ad.
Nothing really happened, I just got really headachey and threw up like four times in a trashcan. Not my finest moment.
I do trust you. More than anyone, actually. It's just a lot of power for one person to have. I keep thinking of ways it could be abused. Addiction. Blackmail What if she didn't fuck up that first batch of adderall? What if she's secretly been working on some kind of... like... really potent poison this entire time, and she used you as a prototype to test how it would affect humans... so that she could adjust it for vampires... or something? You never know. Don't tell me I'm wrong. It's not impossible. She's smart. She could be an evil mastermind. You don't know.
[ kate would have poisoned the shit out of vampires if she were in charge of their food supply, so. yeah. this actually doesn't have anything to do with rosalind, it turns out. anyway. wow, let's move on from that, too. ]
Whatever. Anyway. You literally just called me a model. Wow, I'm so offended.
It's not impossible. But I literally brought all the ingredients and components to her the first time. I was there the entire time we were trying to make it. I told her exactly what Adderall is composed of (I was paranoid when I was first diagnosed as a kid and I did a lot of research, it's a long story) And we went from there until we got the right balance of chemicals. She wasn't trying to poison me, Derek. But I get why you're uneasy. I can ask to start assisting with the synthetic blood work if that'll make you feel better. Keep an eye on it.
I didn't call you a model. You're stupid, your clothes are stupid. All of it, stupid. Like you.
No. You trust her. I don't. This is my problem. If I'm the one that's worried about this, I'm the one that should do something. Besides, if she turns out to be dangerous, I don't want you getting any closer to her than you have to be. I'll talk to her. Ask if I can help her with the blood thing, in exchange for... something. I don't know. Werewolf adderall. If you're okay with me doing something like that.
Anyway. You're stupid. You dress like a lumberjack that never went through puberty.
Werewolf adderall. That's totally believable. She definitely won't question that at all. Totally legit.
[ stiles doesn't actually know how much rosalind knows about werewolves, aside from the fact that they exist, thanks to derek, but he knows she's intelligent. she'd spot the bluff immediately. ]
Rosalind's one of the first people I met when I first got here We're already pretty close But you can do whatever you want Well, you can do whatever she allows you do to do as far as being in her lab goes.
[ stiles has literally never been like, fashion forward, and he doesn't care to be. he prefers to wear what's comfortable and what he likes, but rosalind went in on him pretty hard and said some borderline mean things about his clothes and what impression he gives off and how nobody will ever take him seriously, as if his clothes have more value than his intelligence.
and now derek. like, stiles knows derek is kidding. but is he though? stiles pauses with his hand over his backpack. instead of putting the flannel in his hand inside, he sets it next to his bag instead and frowns a little at his phone. hmm. ]
I'll think of something better than werewolf adderall.
[ it's hard for derek to get a read on whether or not stiles is unhappy with how he's talking about rosalind, but he's not going to obsess over it. he's a little annoyed that stiles, of all people, is this trusting, but. maybe derek's just... extra paranoid, after veracity. doesn't matter either way. ]
No. I'm just teasing. Trying to be funny. Never been my strong suit. You dress like... you. And I like you. So. I wouldn't want you to change. If that makes sense.
[ if stiles is honest, the more derek keeps questioning rosalind's intentions, the more doubt starts to creep in. he knows rosalind, though. after derek, rosalind is probably the one person here that he knows best. he doesn't get any bad vibes about her, not like the way he did with theo. but.
derek's not wrong to feel the way he does. maybe he's the one with the gut instinct this time. stiles tries not to think about it too much, at least for now, because if he does, he's going to end up acting all awkward around rosalind and she'll bully it out of him and that's just. not something he's up for today. ]
Yeah, okay. Thanks.
[ cool. now things feel weird. he made things awkward by being insecure over something he shouldn't even care about. good job, stiles.
he pinches the inside of his lower lip between his teeth, breathes out as he stares at the little pile of plaid next to his backpack. he could just leave it, bring an extra hoodie instead and pretend it's just pure coincidence tha he happened to show up without an overshirt. or.
or he could just pick it up and shove it in his bag and not care what anyone things. derek likes him which means he likes his dumb shirts by extension. he's thinking too much and he needs to stop. ]
Did you get around to tracking down a chess board yet?
[ things... do feel weird, yeah. there's nothing else derek wants to say about rosalind, and stiles doesn't seem to think there's anything else to say about his clothes. there's this pall cast over them that stiles is trying to push through by changing topic, but. derek's stubborn, and he doesn't think stiles believes him, so he wants to just... say what he means with a little more conviction before they move on for good. ]
Stiles. I'm serious. I like how you dress. I already told you. I think you're attractive. Style included. I wouldn't lie to you about this. Stop being stupid. Okay? You're cute.
[ this past week he has literally jerked off to the thought of stiles wearing nothing but an open flannel shirt and it was a cumbersome and difficult experience because he had to use his other hand because his usual one is connected to an arm with a fucking bullet hole in it. he will fucking say that, if he has to. he's annoyed enough to do it, don't test him. stiles is fine.
[ that's all he has to say to that, apparently. but he does smile a little even if he tries to hide it by pressing his lips together, and he puts the plaid shirt in his bag, so. stiles is fine, both emotionally and physically. yeah.
he does a little three-sixty turn to look around his room for whatever else he might need to bring for a night away. a night and day away, maybe... two? ]
Wait, really? Can we play later? I won't make you do a million crunches.
[ stile included. yes. derek is still annoyed, because this still reads like stiles is being dismissive so he doesn't have to outwardly disagree with derek, and that's fucking annoying? derek wants to corner him and just compliment his ugly face and his stupid hair until he forces stiles to say, word for word, that his ugly face is perfect and his stupid hair is the best.
but whatever. fine. stile included. be like that. you idiot. you idiot baby. derek is going to shove him the second he walks into the apartment and refuse to explain why. ]
Yes. But make no mistake. When I win, I will make you do a million crunches.
[ look, stiles just doesn't really know what to say in response to being complimented, considering it's not very often that anyone compliments him. which is fine, he doesn't need validation or anything, he doesn't necessarily need anyone else's approval. it's nice, though. it feels... good. but like most things he isn't sure how to approach, he handles it with humor. no one should be surprised.
anyway. how dare derek talk to the king like that. ]
Are you sure you know how to play chess? Because we can't both win. So I don't want you to get your hopes up thinking there's some kind of participation trophy for you after you're obliterated.
[ awful bold to think derek will take characteristic shyness as characteristic shyness when he can instead choose to be largely and pointlessly annoyed.
especially when stiles keeps taunting him about fucking chess. this brat. ]
Okay, Stiles. You know what? Stakes. Let's add stakes. Real stakes. Not jokes. If I win? You will do crunches until I tell you to stop. I'll be standing there, and I'll be watching you work out, and I will stare at you as you turn your body into a battered and broken wreck. You will suffer. Oh, man. You will suffer. If you win? I don't know. Something just as humiliating and painful. Whatever you want. I'll do anything. No questions asked.
[ stiles mulls this over as he shoulders his backpack. he does a customary check of his pockets to make sure he has everything - his wallet, which is more or less useless, his key, and his phone is still in his hands - shuts off the one light in the room, and locks up. he answers from the little common area outside of his apartment. ]
Telling me you're gonna make me wreck my body doesn't exactly sound fair. But considering I don't plan on losing? Deal. If you want to stand over me while I put your abs to shame, fine. Because that's only gonna happen in your dreams. I'm not telling you what happens when you lose, though.
I'm sure you have it in you to come up with something truly horrible to put me through if I lose. I mean, like, remarkably heinous. If you win, I don't want you holding your punches. I want you to really make me regret thinking of you as a stupid idiot baby who can't play battleship without accidentally choking on one of the pieces, let alone chess.
I really want you to wonder. I want you to spend the next three hours wondering what I could possibly do to you that’ll make you think twice about ever questioning my chess game ever again. I’ll tell you one thing though. I’ll give you two options, and I’ll tell you the first one right now. When you lose, you’re gonna post a video on the network, and you’re going to tell everyone how bad you are at chess, and you’re gonna tell everyone how great you think I am, and that you’ll never challenge me like this again. Publicly admit defeat. You’re going to tell everyone that I’m the king. Scratch that, you’ll tell everyone I’m your king. And you have to sound sincere. I’ll make you do it over and over again until you sound like you mean it.
See, I can see what you're trying to do here. Make me sweat a little. Really get in my head and psyche me out. But that's not going to work. I'm not going to wonder. Why would I wonder? I have no intention of losing. This means nothing to me. This colorful little daydream you've whipped up? Absolutely meaningless.
I'm picking door number two, regardless of what it is. I want this to be between us. I want your inevitable failure all to myself.
Oh, Derek. Derek, you sweet summer child. You sweet stupid werewolf. You just did exactly what I wanted you to do and I didn't even have to try. You have no idea what you just signed yourself up for. I'm sealing this in. Locking it down, this is your final answer, you can't go back. I can't believe I'm going to come out a winner twice in one night.
[ says the guy who is suddenly incredibly nervous because that actually worked out exactly how he wanted it to, but had zero expectation that it actually would. cool. neat. it might actually just be easier to throw the game at this point. ]
Yeah, whatever. You're not intimidating. Like I said - you're cute. I feel like I'm being threatened by a kitten. A sarcastic kitten. Do your worst. You bastard.
[ he's kind of excited. he's kind of excited, but he's also sort of salty with himself for limiting his inevitable victory to making stiles do crunches. it'll be fun, watching him just straight up fucking die, and derek is completely sure that he's going to win this, but. should've thought of something more humiliating than physical exertion, if stiles is getting this creative with it. oh well. ]
Are you going to tell me what I'm signing myself up for, or do I have to wait until I've won to get it out of you?
You know what? I'm not even offended. I love it when people underestimate me because it just makes handing their ass to them later that much more satisfying.
1.) I'm not going to tell you until you lose. 2.) If you win. IF. IIIF you win, I'm still not going to tell you. You'll just have to wonder for the rest of forever what your life could have come to if you'd lost. 3.) I'm about to get in the elevator to come up so I'll probably lose signal, and then it's like... ten minutes from there, so. See you in a couple hours? I'll let you know when we're wrapping up.
You're absolutely going to tell me when I win. I'm not letting you taint my victory with your Stilinski-style smugness. I don't want you holding some dumb, pointless secret over me when I'm trying to celebrate. Your defeat has to be total. I'm getting what I want. Stiles.
[ ah, man, stiles has to go. that's... fine, derek doesn't want to steal all of his attention, but. just kind of missing him again already, which is stupid, and he's stupid, and this is stupid. everything's stupid. still - there's a fire under him now, and he's gonna get everything set up for the rest of the day. gonna grab food, gonna get the board set up. gonna... spend the night with his friend. that's kind of thrilling. when was the last time he invited a friend over for a fucking sleepover? has he ever? ]
But fine. Okay. Run away. Like a coward. I'll see you when you're done. Loooooooooooseeeeeeeeeer.
[ stiles doesn't reward derek with a response for another hour and a half. rosalind doesn't make him turn his phone off when they're working, but he makes a point of taking away as many distractions as possible so he doesn't end up doing something stupid like knocking something over and starting a chemical fire all because he wanted to check his phone. he knows himself well enough. ]
You think I'm gonna tell you, but I'm not. You don't scare me. If I lose - which I won't - but if I lose, you get to watch me work out. That's what you asked for, so that's all you'll get. It's too late to start making all these other requests, womp womp, sucks for you. I'm done, by the way. Be up in like ten.
[ there's a minute, minute and a half lull. ]
Make that thirty? Some asshole pressed every button in the elevator before they got out. See you in a year Mr. 89th floor. God.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Pretty sure that's basically the same thing.
Punch me in the face though and I swear to God, I'll punch you in your bad arm SO hard.
Haha, wow.
Somehow I'm not surprised at all that you and Rosalind don't get along.
What'd she say to you that pissed you off so much?
Anyway, I'm kind of her assistant?
Like it's not an official title or anything, but I spend an hour or two with her like twice a week and help with whatever it is she's working on.
Or try to help, sometimes I'm just there to hand her things when she asks for them.
She helps me out, so I help her out too.
[ because that's the payment system they agreed upon when he asked for her help in making shady lab adderall, but. details. ]
no subject
A lot of things. I don't like her.
I was an idiot. Told her I was a werewolf. Shouldn't have done that.
But she said she knew you. I thought you trusted each other. I was kind of screwed up from the fort. Thought it'd be okay.
Wasn't. She called me "werewolf." Like that. Like - werewolf.
She told me about... synthetic blood. For vampires. That she made. Didn't seem to understand why I thought one person controlling a food source for an entire population of people that could turn violent without it seemed like something to be wary of.
I don't know.
I don't trust her.
[ not that he trusts anyone. rosalind isn't half as bad as he's making it out to be, but. he's embarrassed about letting his guard down, so he's going to assume the worst about her until they work it out. maybe. it's stupid. this whole thing is stupid. derek is stupid. ]
She said you were her assistant.
Said she made something for you.
Wouldn't tell me what, when I asked.
Which is fine.
I shouldn't be snooping around in your life.
Old habits.
no subject
I didn't ask why or anything.
I just figured you knew what you were doing
Even if that seems like, I dunno, the worst idea on the planet.
She's good people though, even if you don't like her.
[ stiles pauses for a second after dropping some socks into his backpack. he scratches at his jaw, debates whether or not he should provide this next bit of information. in the end, he decides it's okay, because rosalind met him in public and wasn't making any attempt to hide what she is. ]
Besides, she's a vampire now. I guess.
So I don't think you have to worry about her having some aversion to supernatural creatures.
I mean unless you plan to have some kind of cheesy Twilight showdown or whatever.
She wouldn't tell you because it wouldn't be professional of her.
And she's really big on being professional and presenting a certain image
Trust me, she ripped me apart once for the way I dress.
But that much is true, that she makes something for me.
I don't actually know if you know this? But I have ADHD.
I take Adderall for it, but I don't really feel good about getting it from the city.
So we make it in her lab on the down low.
It took us a while to get it right
First batch made me super sick actually.
But we got it right and now it's easy, if time consuming.
no subject
[ he can't justify his choice to talk, really. he spent his entire life hiding what he is, because whenever he didn't, people died. paige, his family. but then he became an alpha, and then he lost his pack, and then he was scrambling for power and security in the fort through every avenue he could find, and then he met rosalind, who worked with stiles and seemed to trust him, so he didn't peg her as a threat, and he thought... maybe if he had just said yeah, i'm an alpha, i'm a werewolf, i'm big and i'm tough and i'm scary and i'm strong, he would have felt the way he was supposed to? in control.
but he didn't. she just made him feel like an idiot, because that's how he was acting, and he feels stupid every time he thinks about it, and that's why he doesn't like her. but he can't say that to stiles. and he can't say that to rosalind. he just has to dig his heels in, act tough. wait until he finds a way to dislike himself less for his mistakes. which, you know. good luck. ]
Anyway.
Yeah.
You're right. I've never heard of a self-loathing vampire before. I've never heard of a self-loathing supernatural creature before, for that matter.
Totally trust her, now. Nailed it. Rift mended.
(And you do dress pretty poorly.)
[ a pause. ]
Sorry. ADHD. I should have known that. Should have rummaged around in your bedroom more.
I always just thought you were kind of a spaz. I didn't realize.
[ wait, that's a shitty apology. eh, it's fine, stiles probably knows what he means. more importantly: ]
What do you mean "super sick"? What happened?
no subject
You don't have to trust her.
I really don't care if you do.
But I trust her, and you can trust me.
But also, screw your opinion?
My clothes are fine.
You wear a henley and super tight jeans like, all the time.
I don't think you have any room to talk to me about how I dress, you walking GAP Ad.
Nothing really happened, I just got really headachey and threw up like four times in a trashcan.
Not my finest moment.
no subject
It's just a lot of power for one person to have. I keep thinking of ways it could be abused.
Addiction. Blackmail
What if she didn't fuck up that first batch of adderall? What if she's secretly been working on some kind of... like... really potent poison this entire time, and she used you as a prototype to test how it would affect humans... so that she could adjust it for vampires... or something?
You never know. Don't tell me I'm wrong. It's not impossible. She's smart. She could be an evil mastermind. You don't know.
[ kate would have poisoned the shit out of vampires if she were in charge of their food supply, so. yeah. this actually doesn't have anything to do with rosalind, it turns out. anyway. wow, let's move on from that, too. ]
Whatever. Anyway.
You literally just called me a model. Wow, I'm so offended.
no subject
But I literally brought all the ingredients and components to her the first time.
I was there the entire time we were trying to make it.
I told her exactly what Adderall is composed of
(I was paranoid when I was first diagnosed as a kid and I did a lot of research, it's a long story)
And we went from there until we got the right balance of chemicals.
She wasn't trying to poison me, Derek.
But I get why you're uneasy.
I can ask to start assisting with the synthetic blood work if that'll make you feel better.
Keep an eye on it.
I didn't call you a model.
You're stupid, your clothes are stupid.
All of it, stupid.
Like you.
no subject
[ stubborn. and stupid. ]
No. You trust her. I don't. This is my problem.
If I'm the one that's worried about this, I'm the one that should do something.
Besides, if she turns out to be dangerous, I don't want you getting any closer to her than you have to be.
I'll talk to her. Ask if I can help her with the blood thing, in exchange for... something. I don't know. Werewolf adderall.
If you're okay with me doing something like that.
Anyway.
You're stupid.
You dress like a lumberjack that never went through puberty.
no subject
That's totally believable.
She definitely won't question that at all.
Totally legit.
[ stiles doesn't actually know how much rosalind knows about werewolves, aside from the fact that they exist, thanks to derek, but he knows she's intelligent. she'd spot the bluff immediately. ]
Rosalind's one of the first people I met when I first got here
We're already pretty close
But you can do whatever you want
Well, you can do whatever she allows you do to do as far as being in her lab goes.
[ stiles has literally never been like, fashion forward, and he doesn't care to be. he prefers to wear what's comfortable and what he likes, but rosalind went in on him pretty hard and said some borderline mean things about his clothes and what impression he gives off and how nobody will ever take him seriously, as if his clothes have more value than his intelligence.
and now derek. like, stiles knows derek is kidding. but is he though? stiles pauses with his hand over his backpack. instead of putting the flannel in his hand inside, he sets it next to his bag instead and frowns a little at his phone. hmm. ]
Is it really that bad?
no subject
[ it's hard for derek to get a read on whether or not stiles is unhappy with how he's talking about rosalind, but he's not going to obsess over it. he's a little annoyed that stiles, of all people, is this trusting, but. maybe derek's just... extra paranoid, after veracity. doesn't matter either way. ]
No.
I'm just teasing. Trying to be funny. Never been my strong suit.
You dress like... you. And I like you. So. I wouldn't want you to change.
If that makes sense.
no subject
derek's not wrong to feel the way he does. maybe he's the one with the gut instinct this time. stiles tries not to think about it too much, at least for now, because if he does, he's going to end up acting all awkward around rosalind and she'll bully it out of him and that's just. not something he's up for today. ]
Yeah, okay.
Thanks.
[ cool. now things feel weird. he made things awkward by being insecure over something he shouldn't even care about. good job, stiles.
he pinches the inside of his lower lip between his teeth, breathes out as he stares at the little pile of plaid next to his backpack. he could just leave it, bring an extra hoodie instead and pretend it's just pure coincidence tha he happened to show up without an overshirt. or.
or he could just pick it up and shove it in his bag and not care what anyone things. derek likes him which means he likes his dumb shirts by extension. he's thinking too much and he needs to stop. ]
Did you get around to tracking down a chess board yet?
no subject
Stiles. I'm serious.
I like how you dress.
I already told you. I think you're attractive.
Style included.
I wouldn't lie to you about this.
Stop being stupid. Okay?
You're cute.
[ this past week he has literally jerked off to the thought of stiles wearing nothing but an open flannel shirt and it was a cumbersome and difficult experience because he had to use his other hand because his usual one is connected to an arm with a fucking bullet hole in it. he will fucking say that, if he has to. he's annoyed enough to do it, don't test him. stiles is fine.
anyway, jesus. chess board. ]
I did buy a chess board.
[ bought it as soon as he could. ]
no subject
[ that's all he has to say to that, apparently. but he does smile a little even if he tries to hide it by pressing his lips together, and he puts the plaid shirt in his bag, so. stiles is fine, both emotionally and physically. yeah.
he does a little three-sixty turn to look around his room for whatever else he might need to bring for a night away. a night and day away, maybe... two? ]
Wait, really?
Can we play later?
I won't make you do a million crunches.
no subject
but whatever. fine. stile included. be like that. you idiot. you idiot baby. derek is going to shove him the second he walks into the apartment and refuse to explain why. ]
Yes.
But make no mistake.
When I win, I will make you do a million crunches.
no subject
anyway. how dare derek talk to the king like that. ]
Are you sure you know how to play chess?
Because we can't both win.
So I don't want you to get your hopes up thinking there's some kind of participation trophy for you after you're obliterated.
[ stiles is so dead if he loses, good lord. ]
no subject
especially when stiles keeps taunting him about fucking chess. this brat. ]
Okay, Stiles. You know what?
Stakes. Let's add stakes. Real stakes. Not jokes.
If I win? You will do crunches until I tell you to stop. I'll be standing there, and I'll be watching you work out, and I will stare at you as you turn your body into a battered and broken wreck. You will suffer. Oh, man. You will suffer.
If you win? I don't know.
Something just as humiliating and painful. Whatever you want.
I'll do anything. No questions asked.
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Telling me you're gonna make me wreck my body doesn't exactly sound fair.
But considering I don't plan on losing?
Deal. If you want to stand over me while I put your abs to shame, fine.
Because that's only gonna happen in your dreams.
I'm not telling you what happens when you lose, though.
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If you win, I don't want you holding your punches. I want you to really make me regret thinking of you as a stupid idiot baby who can't play battleship without accidentally choking on one of the pieces, let alone chess.
Why don't you want to tell me?
Coward.
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I want you to spend the next three hours wondering what I could possibly do to you that’ll make you think twice about ever questioning my chess game ever again.
I’ll tell you one thing though.
I’ll give you two options, and I’ll tell you the first one right now.
When you lose, you’re gonna post a video on the network, and you’re going to tell everyone how bad you are at chess, and you’re gonna tell everyone how great you think I am, and that you’ll never challenge me like this again. Publicly admit defeat.
You’re going to tell everyone that I’m the king.
Scratch that, you’ll tell everyone I’m your king.
And you have to sound sincere.
I’ll make you do it over and over again until you sound like you mean it.
Or there’s always mystery door number two.
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But that's not going to work.
I'm not going to wonder. Why would I wonder? I have no intention of losing. This means nothing to me. This colorful little daydream you've whipped up? Absolutely meaningless.
I'm picking door number two, regardless of what it is.
I want this to be between us.
I want your inevitable failure all to myself.
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Derek, you sweet summer child.
You sweet stupid werewolf.
You just did exactly what I wanted you to do and I didn't even have to try.
You have no idea what you just signed yourself up for.
I'm sealing this in.
Locking it down, this is your final answer, you can't go back.
I can't believe I'm going to come out a winner twice in one night.
[ says the guy who is suddenly incredibly nervous because that actually worked out exactly how he wanted it to, but had zero expectation that it actually would. cool. neat. it might actually just be easier to throw the game at this point. ]
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Like I said - you're cute. I feel like I'm being threatened by a kitten. A sarcastic kitten.
Do your worst. You bastard.
[ he's kind of excited. he's kind of excited, but he's also sort of salty with himself for limiting his inevitable victory to making stiles do crunches. it'll be fun, watching him just straight up fucking die, and derek is completely sure that he's going to win this, but. should've thought of something more humiliating than physical exertion, if stiles is getting this creative with it. oh well. ]
Are you going to tell me what I'm signing myself up for, or do I have to wait until I've won to get it out of you?
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I'm not even offended.
I love it when people underestimate me because it just makes handing their ass to them later that much more satisfying.
1.) I'm not going to tell you until you lose.
2.) If you win. IF. IIIF you win, I'm still not going to tell you. You'll just have to wonder for the rest of forever what your life could have come to if you'd lost.
3.) I'm about to get in the elevator to come up so I'll probably lose signal, and then it's like... ten minutes from there, so. See you in a couple hours? I'll let you know when we're wrapping up.
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Your defeat has to be total.
I'm getting what I want.
Stiles.
[ ah, man, stiles has to go. that's... fine, derek doesn't want to steal all of his attention, but. just kind of missing him again already, which is stupid, and he's stupid, and this is stupid. everything's stupid. still - there's a fire under him now, and he's gonna get everything set up for the rest of the day. gonna grab food, gonna get the board set up. gonna... spend the night with his friend. that's kind of thrilling. when was the last time he invited a friend over for a fucking sleepover? has he ever? ]
But fine. Okay. Run away. Like a coward.
I'll see you when you're done.
Loooooooooooseeeeeeeeeer.
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You think I'm gonna tell you, but I'm not.
You don't scare me.
If I lose - which I won't - but if I lose, you get to watch me work out.
That's what you asked for, so that's all you'll get.
It's too late to start making all these other requests, womp womp, sucks for you.
I'm done, by the way.
Be up in like ten.
[ there's a minute, minute and a half lull. ]
Make that thirty?
Some asshole pressed every button in the elevator before they got out.
See you in a year Mr. 89th floor.
God.
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