No, no, yeah, that's fine. That's good. I'm good with that. It's not demanding You're not demanding. No partition I don't even know where people buy partitions from Like what department is that in? Is it furniture, is it like, with the doors?
Sorry. One bedroom. It's the one that's got brick on one side and concrete-y stone on the other. If that wasn't obvious. Wait, here. You might like this too.
I do like that door. Makes me think of home. I can't believe I took you to the loft. I haven't gone back there, since coming home to Beacon Hills. I tried to stay in the old house for as long as I could. The county'll be taking it, given that Peter's too dead to have it listed as his property. I don't think I want to buy it and put it in my name, either. I wanted somewhere private and hidden away for the pack. Didn't take them to the loft. Took them to the train yard. I guess that changes.
[ "don't talk so much", says derek, before talking more than stiles did. ]
Sorry. I don't know why I'm bringing this up. The place looks good. One bedroom is good. Sliding doors are good. You did good. I'll make the arrangements.
What're you gonna do, kick me out? Wait that's a joke Ha ha just kidding Please don't kick me out. At least not until we have a couch that doesn't suck.
[ but uh. hey, how about that guilt re: knowing about shit he should be telling derek, huh? ]
A lot changes. Isaac actually lives with you, for one.
[ or he will. for a while, until he doesn't. until derek scares him off for his own good. ]
I honestly don't know how you never strangled him but He's your beta, not mine. You also got that I'm tHe AlPhA thing going for you too so. Maybe that's it. Anyway. We can uh We can talk about... all of that stuff. Eventually. If you want. We probably should talk about stuff. Soon.
But maybe after we do this moving thing? Most of my money is in cash so I'll just bring it over Make it rainnnnnnnnnnn
I have no problem with making you sleep on the floor.
[ and - stiles tells him they can talk after they move, and derek's okay with that, derek's fine with that, but again, there's a thrill of sorta-excitement in his chest that he latches onto. isaac lives with him. that's huge, after everything with isaac's father. ]
Yeah? You're not fucking with me? That's kind of... amazing. I didn't think he'd want that. I wasn't sure I had it in me to keep my pack safe, but if I actually invite one of them to live with me, maybe that changes. Maybe I don't feel like as much of a danger to them. I hope he's happy. With me, I mean. I hope I make him happy. He deserves to be happy. They all do.
[ okay, ugh, he's getting carried away. ahead of himself. he pulls it back. ]
Sorry. There's no rush to tell me anything. I trust you. I know if there's anything I need to know, you'll tell me. Sooner or later. I'm here. Whenever you want to do that. Whenever you want to compliment me on the self-restraint I'm showing by not constantly smacking your head into walls until you tell me everything I want to know. Or... whenever you want to make it rain.
I have no problem sleeping on the floor. I'm a master at sleeping on the floor. I can sleep literally anywhere. I mean this isn't an invitation to make me sleep on the floor because I'm not sleeping on the floor. I'm just saying. Not an actual punishment.
Yeah. That's a real thing that happens. And you're not a danger to them.
[ other people are a danger to them but. that's a conversation for another time. ]
I'm realizing now that this new place has a lot of brick. Which is fine for like Everything except for how much you fantasize about smacking my head into walls. Anyway. I guess I'm packing my stuff? I'm packing my stuff. Is that cool? I mean if I come over now and like. Don't come back here. Officially. Is that cool.
Fine, okay. Positive reinforcement works over negative. I get it. You get through an entire night without annoying me, and I'll blow you again. You seemed to respond well to that last time.
[ he says, as if he's not going to find literally any opportunity to get stiles' dick in his mouth the second they live in the new place and can be as loud as they want. also, are they at a point where he can make blowjob jokes? only one way to find out, he guesses.
not going to comment on the isaac thing. he'll only ask questions, and he knows that's not where they are yet. ]
Yeah. That's cool. I wish you'd done it a week ago, actually. Should've asked sooner.
We should do something. Mark the occasion. Once we've actually moved. I don't know what, because we're going to have very little money and I don't want to go out, but. Something.
[ the little animate typing indicator dances in place for a while, then disappears. it reappears again, disappears quickly, and then there's nothing for a minute or two.
because stiles is working himself up to this. there's literally no reason to be nervous but also every reason to be nervous. but it's cool. this is no big deal. ]
What if And this is just an idea We can totally do something else But what if To mark the occasion You let me blow you instead. In the new place.
[ says the guy who has never given a bj in his life. the pressure here is. a lot. IT'LL BE FINE. ]
[ derek has maybe never wanted anything more in his entire life, and his heart fucking freezes up in his chest and his brain suddenly decides to shut down. it, uh. it takes him a second to get it working again. ]
Maybe. I don't know.
[ he swallows. okay. he. wants this. but. ]
I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. And I don't want you to... feel like you have to do that for me because I did that first. So.
Yeah Yes I mean I've never actually But I want to. With you. Even before you did it for me I'd thought about it Forever ago Like that summer forever ago but still But I mean you don't have to say yes We can do something else like I have no idea but something else You're not obligated to say yes My feelings won't be hurt It's cool I swear
No. I want that. I've thought about it a lot, too. You should've told me. Over summer. If I felt even half as much for you then as I do now, I would've gone for it. So. Yes. I want. That.
[ he just... had to make sure that stiles wanted it too. and he does. and he's wanted that since before derek even... realized there was something here to want. that's, uh. that's information. that sure is information.
derek needs a second, again. ]
What... have you done? Can I ask that? I mean - at home. And... here. How did you fill your quota?
[ but also: if i felt even half as much for you then as i do now. rip, stiles. that's a lot. that's... a lot. and stiles feels a little fluttery about it and kind of dumb for feeling so fluttery about it but. okay. it's cool. derek likes him, this is not news anymore, even if it still feels like news.
anyway, that fluttery feeling plummets, because derek is asking about stiles'... sexual history and that's. it's. he's embarrassed? he suddenly feels really embarrassed.
okay. okay, it's. derek should probably know this stuff. for future reference or something. ]
Back home I just My ex-girlfriend and I I mean she wasn't my ex at the time but You probably guessed that without me clarifying But we had... regular sex? Not like sex regularly but. I guess sort of that too but I mean I don't know, regular sex. Vaginal sex. I'm never typing the word vaginal again for as long as I live oh my god Anyway, that was at home.
Anonymous handjobs? I don't know, there's this club Where nobody cares about whether or not you have this season's coolest tattoo So it was really easy to just Take care of it without having to answer or ask too many questions And you already know about Everything I've done with you
[ derek listens. he's not sure why he's asking questions like these, because they actually... well, they actually make him feel kind of awful? there's a small pang of jealousy when stiles talks about his ex, which is stupid, and he feels this wave of relief when stiles confirms he hasn't had any regular hookups in duplicity, which... well, which makes him feel like an asshole for a lot of reasons, but. ]
Okay.
[ he's not sure what else to say. and he regrets asking, which is also stupid, because he's definitely done more with people than stiles ever has and he has no right to feel insecure, but - it's. he kind of hates everything he's ever done, physically speaking, both here and at home. he hates every single second of his sexual history, except for what he's done with stiles. if stiles had said he's still sexually active with a regular hookup that derek couldn't possibly measure up to, he'd just...
he'd. fuck. nevermind. this is stupid, too, jesus christ, he's being stupid. stupid and immature. derek tries to snap out of it, tries to focus on just. talking. being normal. ]
Does that make me the first guy you've
[ a pause. he knows that he's the first stiles has been with in... some regards, but that's not what he's asking. derek hesitates, because he and stiles said they wanted to be something, but derek didn't try to clarify what he meant, exactly, and this might be the first time he actually drops what he wants. what he assumes this is. what he hopes this is.
he hesitates, then types out five more letters and hits send. ]
[ stiles assumes derek is about to ask him if he's the first guy stiles has had sex with which - is kind of annoying, because stiles literally told him he was. they had a whole messy - thing, because stiles tried to play down his own sentimentality just to have it all backfire. derek was there. he should know this.
but that's not what derek asks him, and stiles' stomach sinks and swoops a little too abruptly. he blinks a couple times in rapid succession as he stares down at his phone, like he's trying to - unblur his vision, or waiting for the words to rearrange into something else. but they don't.
derek's still asking if he's he first guy he's dated.
they're dating. like, that's - an official thing. with a label, sort of. not just some vague, hopeful idea stiles had. okay. okay, that's. this is good. this is really good, stiles likes this. he likes this a lot. ]
That is what that makes you. Derek. The first guy I've dated. Am. First guy I am dating.
it's good that stiles repeats himself, really clarifies his answer. derek's already folding in on himself a little and wishing he'd never asked, beating himself up for trying, and it takes the quick one-two punch that stiles sends him to really knock that line of thinking out of orbit.
every part of derek is telling him to pull the brakes. to stop piling up unsteady brick onto unsteady brick, because he knows all it will take is one wrong move for everything to crumble and for stiles to get hurt. he's gone over that in his head time and time and time again, fearing the sobering reality check that's going to come for him when this happy little bubble bursts and he's flung back into the decimating smell of ash.
but he doesn't. he still feels emboldened by their night together. the confessions, the intimacy. the mutual desire for this to go as far as it can go. he thinks of the regret that's been sitting in his chest ever since his refusal to say i love you,. derek hesitates, and he knows he's pushing things here, about to drop another title stiles might not be willing to share, but after spending so long in freefall, he wants to see something land. ]
Same. To you. I've been with men. But I've never. Had a boyfriend. Until now. You.
[ stiles is not surprised by the revelation that derek has been with men before just for the simple fact that derek is - gorgeous. derek could probably have literally any person he wanted - which is a thought that makes stiles feel really, really good, but also really... insecure isn't a good word, but he's not ever gonna be on the cover of GQ. and he's awkward and annoying and. he needs to not go down this road because it's pointless and this is. good.
stiles has never had a boyfriend before, but he figures it's probably similar to having a girlfriend, even if his one girlfriend experience is rather... unique. in a lot of ways.
but derek has never had a boyfriend either, which is kind of surprising to stiles. it also makes him feel kind of warm and. pleased. that he gets to be a first, in some capacity, for derek. ]
Well I hope you're ready for me to boyfriend the crap out of you then. I'm gonna boyfriend you so hard.
[ stiles. ]
Don't say you're going to break up with me, that's predictable. But seriously. That's. It's cool. I mean I kind of like that I'm your first boyfriend? Kind of is a little bit of an understatement But I'm trying to make this last for more than ten seconds before you change your mind so I'm Reeling it in. But I do like it. A lot.
[ about this. about stiles, about his feelings, about any of this. he wants this to last, and he's going to aggressively fight every fucking second of his life spent worrying about how he's going to screw this up. he's going to do everything he can to stay strong and optimistic and open and not shut down out of fear or resentment or self-preservation. he's not going to lose this.
even if he does sort of wince a little at "i'm gonna boyfriend you so hard", because that was kind of stupid and maybe this was all a terrible mistake, but. you know what? stiles is endearing. derek's endeared. ]
I'm in this. For as long as you'll have me. So. Go fuck yourself.
I like that you're my first, too. You're pretty special. A word I'm using as both a compliment and an insult. Mostly a compliment. I'm really lucky. You could date better people than me. I'm glad you're enough of an idiot to think otherwise.
[ stiles just barely catches the elevator, which must be some kind of miracle because he doesn't really have the patience to wait forty minutes for it to come back down, and walking to the train with all of his stuff just. sounds like a terrible time, so he considers himself lucky. he tucks himself into a corner, away from the handful of others waiting to go from one level to the next, and he sets some of his stuff at his feet to free up his hands and give himself a short break.
stiles... does not deserve this. stiles does not feel like he deserve this because it's. it just feels like it's too good to be true. derek wanting to be with him, derek saying things like i'm in this for as long as you'll have me (followed by go fuck yourself, which just - makes stiles smile, even though it probably shouldn't). stiles doesn't ever find himself this lucky.
if he's standing in the corner of the elevator, trying to bite back a smile and looking like a goddamn idiot, well. who cares. he doesn't. ]
Bold of you to assume I'm the idiot here. Like I'm not trying to put myself down here but I'm just saying There are a lot of pretty people here in Bonertown And back home But I'm not gonna point out that it might be time for you to book an appointment with your local werewolf optometrist. Anyway, I don't know better people. I'm not interested in these imaginary hypothetical better people.
I'm like... fifteen minutes out? I caught the elevators right as the doors were closing so It'll be like ten minutes for that and another fiveish from there. Maybe ten. I don't have a lot of stuff like objectively speaking. But it's a lot to carry across town I guess. Anyway. Fifteen minutes, give or take.
[ fifteen minutes. real hard not to just get up and wait outside the elevator like last time. derek vents his impatience by being kind of snappy, feeling this annoyed prickling at the back of his neck. stiles is a fucking dingus. ]
Shut up. I like you. More than anyone else. Physically. Emotionally. There's nobody I could want more than I want you. Nobody I've ever wanted more than you. Nobody who makes me feel the way you make me feel. Safe. Happy. "Werewolf optometrist", ugh. Stupid. You don't know what you're talking about. Moron.
[ so. yeah. derek's thumb hovers over his phone, and there are other things he wants to say. thoughts he wants to add. "i hope i'll be enough for you", "i miss you all the time", "i love you". overwhelming, intense feelings that he shouldn't be drowning in this early into a relationship. feelings that battle constant anxiety - what if stiles leaves, what if stiles gets hurt, what if derek's too much, what if derek's not enough. derek looks down at his screen, watches the light fade to save its battery, then swipes his thumb over message box and taps something out. ]
I'm really looking forward to seeing you. I know we see each other all the time. But I am. Very excited. And I don't... get excited. But I am. Right now. I'm going to see you. Soon. Today. And then I'm going to see you tonight, and then I'm going to see you in the morning, and then I'm going to see you tomorrow, and you won't have to leave, because you're going to live with me. And I'm. Excited. For that. Are you?
[ stiles' face goes so, so red in that elevator. it's a miracle nobody asks him if he's okay or if he needs to sit down - which he feels like he does, because this is a lot. for a handful of seconds, stiles actually convinces himself that this is probably some kind of joke. derek's probably just - trying to embarrass the shit out of him, teasing him about his dumb feelings for him but.
derek's not that mean. derek can't be that mean, not about that. and derek told him he liked him, even before now. even before all of these text messages, derek has told him multiple times that he likes stiles and. stiles just needs to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. anticipating the worst is just going to sour the present and he doesn't want to do that.
he's blushing really, really deep though, which he tries to cover up by ducking his head and scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck. he feels really warm, and it takes him a second to get his thumbs working. ]
If you don't stop you're going to make me sprint out of this elevator as soon as the doors open Which wouldn't actually be a problem if I wasn't carrying a backpack and a bunch of other stuff but I'd probably trip and scrape the crap out of my elbows and maybe my knees And that sucks for people who don't insta-heal FYI But I might just do it anyway and take the risk Seems kind of worth it Because I'm really excited too. I'm excited that you're excited. That makes me feel really good.
[ "that makes me feel really good". he sounds like a dumbass. he sounds so lame but he just. it's true. and he wants derek to know that. he wants derek to know that he makes him feel good even if it's just over little things. like derek being excited to see him, excited to live with him. ]
You make me feel really, really good and happy and safe and important and I've never really. Had this. Not all at once. Not like this.
[ stiles makes him laugh. it's funny - he's grown up a lot, but stiles is still the same person he was back home, when derek knew him. sarcastic and quick and slightly self-deprecative, able to soften every feeling and every thought by padding them with jokes. derek understands him more, now, and he wishes - not for the first time - that he'd paid closer attention to him sooner. seen him as who he was, instead of just making assumptions and thinking stiles didn't care about the world half as much as he does.
derek stands, and he paces in front of his front door, trying to burn out some of the extra energy that's been building up since he'd started talking to stiles. he's impatient. soon as stiles walks through that door, derek's gonna have to kiss him. ]
Good. I feel good. If you feel good. I mean, I'd feel good anyway. But I feel good that you feel good. You feeling good makes me feel good.
[ wait, now derek sounds like a dumbass. he stops pacing, stares down at his phone, then recalibrates. ]
Anyway. Sorry. I feel the same. Never had this. Not all at once. I was young. With Paige. I don't know how much you know about her. Us. But I was stupid. Naive. It wasn't real. Not really. Then there was Kate. And that wasn't real, either. In a different way.
And now there's you. Solid. Real. I haven't really been happy like this before. I haven't even been a little happy, since Laura. And now. It's all at once. I'm scared. All the time. And I'm happy. All the time. And I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to behave. So. I'm sorry. If I get carried away. I just like you. A lot.
[ stiles kind of sobers a little, only because derek is talking about - important things. everything derek says is important to stiles, but this is different. this is a significant part of derek's life, paige and kate, and stiles knows when to put joking and sarcasm aside. ]
I know about Paige. I know about what happened to her. I know she's why your eyes used to be blue. And I know you tried to save her after Peter made you believe you needed to change her. I don't think you were stupid or naive. I just think you trusted your uncle. It's not your fault he had other motives.
[ but. anyway. the elevator starts to slow as it approaches the upper level, and stiles has half the mind to push past a few people to mash his thumb against the doors open button, but. he still has to pick up his things, which he'll do in a minute. ]
I want you to be happy. I want you to feel happy and I don't ever want you to feel scared Of me or of us. I mean that's kind of hypocritical of me because I'm scared too but I just really, really want this And I don't want to do something wrong or like Overstep or say something too stupid to come back from so it just Makes me nervous A lot You make me nervous but like In the best way I guess. And believe me If you think I'm gonna tell you to stop saying all these nice things about me because you're getting "carried away" Well I've never laughed so hard in my life.
Elevator's almost stopped. Hopefully some asshole hasn't pushed all the buttons again in your building. I don't know if I can run up all those stairs with this extra weight.
[ the urge to argue with stiles is - strong. it's kind of him, to pin the blame on peter, but derek was the one who pushed for the bite, derek was the one who believed he couldn't be with paige while she was human, derek was the one who didn't stop and talk to paige and realize she was perceptive enough to know about werewolves even before ennis, derek was the one who played with her life and trusted the wrong people and asked for too much.
but the fact that stiles knows so much about paige gets to him, a little, because he doesn't talk about her. he's said her name twice in the past eight or so years, and both of them were to stiles within the last few days. for stiles to know not only about their relationship, but about her death, and about peter? to know, and - to not be disgusted with him?
it's a lot. it's a lot, to think that stiles still wants him despite knowing what he knows. derek wets his lips, starts pacing again, feels his stomach get unsettled. he can't talk about paige anymore, not over the phone. he moves past it. ]
That's how I feel. I don't want to overstep, I don't want to do anything wrong. I don't want to hurt you. That's what I'm afraid of. But.
[ elevator's almost stopped. derek gets annoyed, again. he can't wait to just... move. live together. not have to wait all the time. ]
I know you won't screw this up. I don't think you could if you tried. You're smart. Kind. Caring. You've cared about me more than... anyone else ever has. Except for my mom, maybe. You make me feel like I'm okay. That's a hard thing to do. Nobody's ever made me feel this okay.
[ aaand the doors are opening but stiles takes an extra couple seconds to tap out a quick reply to derek so he's not just. leaving him hanging, when he's talking about important things like. feelings. ]
You deserve it. I know you probably don't think you do But I'm usually always right so you're just going to have to trust that I know what I'm talking about. You deserve to feel okay for once. And I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure I don't do anything to mess that up Gotta run though See you soon.
[ stiles pockets his phone and scrambles to pick his things up, barely making it out of the elevator before the doors close, twisting his body sideways to avoid shoulder-checking one of the doors.
he's been in the up dozens of times before, maybe hundreds, but this feels - different. maybe it's not even the up, maybe it's just - the purpose for this trek. his backpack is heavy, his arms are full. he's going to see derek and he's not going to have to leave in the morning for fear of overstaying his welcome.
they're going to move and have a space that's theirs, private. something closer to the woods, with a lot of windows and a lot of space and. it's just. stiles is happy. it's weird, to feel happy in a city that has, so far, been the primary source of his misery, his frayed nerves, anxiety. but he feels good now. he feels so good that he almost does kind of want to run to derek, but he knows himself, and he knows he'll likely trip, because running is - weird, with your arms crossed over your body. so he settles for speed walking.
stiles makes it to the highrise in roughly five minutes, and when he presses the button for the elevator with the back of his wrist, it only takes a handful of seconds for the doors to open. stiles steps in, immediately turns - and sets his stuff down on the floor again to free up both of his hands.
there's a little trick he knows. it doesn't work in all elevators - mostly only older models -, but it's handy when it works. stiles presses and holds the doors close button, pushes and holds the button for the 89th floor, and doesn't let either button go until the doors are closed and the lift starts to move. even if it does work, he's got time, so he picks up his stuff - a pile of folded clothes, mostly flannel shirts and a couple pairs of chinos
it works though. either there's nobody between the first and 89th floors waiting for the elevator, or stiles' little bypass trick worked, because the elevator doesn't stop the whole way, and when the doors finally open again, stiles is... yawning. well, he's trying to pop his ears, but it looks like he's yawning, working his jaw. he rounds the corner out into the common space between the two apartments on this floor and when he gets to derek's door he feels - excited. excited and stupid and kind of nervous but it's good-nervous. he lifts his foot, intending to kick the bottom of a couple times in lieu of knocking because his arms are full of the clothes he couldn't fit in his backpack (and his bat is tucked underneath the straps of his bag, across his shoulders, i almost forgot about his dumb bat)--
but the door opens before his shoe can make contact so his foot swings out a little further than expected before he just - steps forward onto it. stiles looks at derek over the pile of folded laundry held close to his chest, he smiles, small and dumb. ]
[ derek doesn't deserve stiles. he doesn't deserve him, and stiles doesn't deserve this relationship to devolve into constant reassurance and constantly having to tell derek that he has a right to be happy, and derek feels this uncomfortable squeeze in his chest as he criticizes himself for finding another way to make their conversation all about him.
but then he lets that go and actually listens, really fores himself to reread what stiles said. the promise to be there for him, the unwavering determination to see derek in a light that he just doesn't understand. stiles has been nothing but good and kind and supportive, even back home. he didn't have to keep him alive, all those times he did. he didn't ever have to care about him.
so derek paces by his front door again, waiting, impatient. this place has felt so much better, since stiles started coming over - there's a soda stain on the carpet from where they first played chess, derek has some of stiles' clothes washed and folded by his bed, he can smell stiles in the sheets. the new place is going to have stiles ingrained in it, and derek might not be able to survive it.
he hears stiles coming through the door, ears picking up and head raised like a dog hearing its owner come back from the store. derek genuinely tries to be good, he genuinely tries to hold himself back from playing all his cards and showing just how badly he wants to see him, but he honestly can't help himself. stiles stands by the door and derek swings it open, and when he sees him, he can't find the words to express just how happy he is that he's here.
so he doesn't bother using them. he all but dashes forward, sets his hands against stiles' jawline, and he takes him in a kiss, sweet and frantic. he closes his eyes and he just feels stiles' lips against his own, breathing a sigh through his nose like he's finally able to just relax, after hours of being tense and alone, hours of waiting. he holds his breath while they kiss, and he doesn't mind the feeling of his lungs burning when they run out of air.
he pulls back, looking at stiles with his usual level of stern, unapproachable apathy, but there's color in his cheeks, and he doesn't seem to know where to look, flicking his eyes over every inch of stiles' face or off to the side. he breathes in deep, filling his chest, then lets go. he takes stiles' things without asking, then heads into the bedroom to set them down.
derek comes back to the entrance with his thumb grazing over his bottom lip, like he can still feel stiles against him, then quickly drops his arm the second he realizes he could be seen. he's moving sort of mechanically, like he's not really paying attention to what he's doing - his mind's still on the kiss, on stiles, too distracted for anything else. he turns on his heel, looks at stiles, and he's touching his lip again, automatic and unnoticed. he's forgotten to actually say hi.
so. shit. okay. he raises his other arm. gives a bit of a wave, scrunching his fingers down to his palm. ]
[ derek rushes him, but everything kind of slows down for stiles for those few seconds. he feels derek's hands on his face first, warm and firm and secure as he cups his jaw. he feels the light pressure of his fingers, tilting his head up just a fraction of an inch, and he feels derek's breath ghost over his lips before they're kissing, and even in slow motion stiles still finds himself... surprised. even with the split-second warning, he still feels a little off balance, and for a full second, he just stands there with his eyes still open and his brows gently furrowed. his arms start to loosen round his things for a moment, like he's about to lift his arms to pull derek in closer to him, but he catches himself before he just - drops all of his laundry on the floor in the hallway.
instead, he melts. his eyes close and he sighs out through his nose and he leans into derek just a bit, pressing his crossed arms into derek's chest, squashing his clothes between the both of them. his stupid bat catches in the doorway, which is frustrating, but probably also a good thing, otherwise he might have just fallen right on in, tripped right into derek, moreso than he already has.
when derek pulls back, stiles only barely manages not to tilt forward, his eyes still closed and his lips still gently pursed. he looks like an idiot. he looks so dumb but he feels kind of floaty and loose and content. he swipes his tongue across lower lip, and then opens his eyes, only because derek is - taking all of his stuff from him. stiles lets it all go, twists to let derek pull his backpack off of him. he keeps the bat, just because he forgets to hand it over.
stiles stays in the entryway. for a second or three he just stands there, a little dumb-looking as he glances around the apartment. his eyes fall on the darkened stain on the carpet, which makes his stomach flip and swoop a little with a tiny wave of arousal. he's going to live with derek. he and derek are going to live together. here, for a night or two probably, and then they're going to move and leave this place behind and stiles is... really excited about it. as fondly as he looks at the carpet stain, there isn't really a whole lot he's going to miss about this apartment once he and derek set up in a new place.
he glances up when derek comes back, watching him quietly as he touches his lip. stiles casually leans the wide end of his bat against the floor, leans some of his weight into the handle, using it as a crutch. like a makeshift cane. he opens his fingers around the flat base, then flexes them and curls them into a fist, scratching at the back of one calf with his opposite foot.
stiles is smiling when derek finally looks up, though it's faint and you kind of have to squint to see it. he raises his eyebrows questioningly, but finds himself breaking out into a wider, brighter, slightly lopsided smile. he lifts his free hand, splays his fingers a little in an awkward wave. ]
... Hi. Where'd you go?
[ not like - physically. stiles knows he went to the bedroom to put his stuff down, but derek looks a little spacey and distracted, and he keeps touching his bottom lip and it's. kind of cute. it's really cute. just to be clear, though, stiles lifts his awkward wave-y hand and taps his fingers to the side of his own head. ]
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no subject
No, no, yeah, that's fine.
That's good.
I'm good with that.
It's not demanding
You're not demanding.
No partition
I don't even know where people buy partitions from
Like what department is that in?
Is it furniture, is it like, with the doors?
Sorry.
One bedroom.
It's the one that's got brick on one side and concrete-y stone on the other.
If that wasn't obvious.
Wait, here.
You might like this too.
[ sliding door, sliding door. ]
no subject
[ he's kidding. well, he's roughly maybe 40% kidding. ]
I do like that door.
Makes me think of home.
I can't believe I took you to the loft. I haven't gone back there, since coming home to Beacon Hills.
I tried to stay in the old house for as long as I could. The county'll be taking it, given that Peter's too dead to have it listed as his property. I don't think I want to buy it and put it in my name, either.
I wanted somewhere private and hidden away for the pack. Didn't take them to the loft. Took them to the train yard.
I guess that changes.
[ "don't talk so much", says derek, before talking more than stiles did. ]
Sorry. I don't know why I'm bringing this up.
The place looks good.
One bedroom is good. Sliding doors are good.
You did good.
I'll make the arrangements.
no subject
Wait that's a joke
Ha ha just kidding
Please don't kick me out.
At least not until we have a couch that doesn't suck.
[ but uh. hey, how about that guilt re: knowing about shit he should be telling derek, huh? ]
A lot changes.
Isaac actually lives with you, for one.
[ or he will. for a while, until he doesn't. until derek scares him off for his own good. ]
I honestly don't know how you never strangled him but
He's your beta, not mine.
You also got that I'm tHe AlPhA thing going for you too so.
Maybe that's it.
Anyway. We can uh
We can talk about... all of that stuff. Eventually. If you want.
We probably should talk about stuff. Soon.
But maybe after we do this moving thing?
Most of my money is in cash so
I'll just bring it over
Make it rainnnnnnnnnnn
no subject
[ and - stiles tells him they can talk after they move, and derek's okay with that, derek's fine with that, but again, there's a thrill of sorta-excitement in his chest that he latches onto. isaac lives with him. that's huge, after everything with isaac's father. ]
Yeah? You're not fucking with me?
That's kind of... amazing. I didn't think he'd want that. I wasn't sure I had it in me to keep my pack safe, but if I actually invite one of them to live with me, maybe that changes. Maybe I don't feel like as much of a danger to them.
I hope he's happy. With me, I mean. I hope I make him happy. He deserves to be happy. They all do.
[ okay, ugh, he's getting carried away. ahead of himself. he pulls it back. ]
Sorry.
There's no rush to tell me anything.
I trust you. I know if there's anything I need to know, you'll tell me. Sooner or later.
I'm here. Whenever you want to do that. Whenever you want to compliment me on the self-restraint I'm showing by not constantly smacking your head into walls until you tell me everything I want to know.
Or... whenever you want to make it rain.
no subject
I'm a master at sleeping on the floor.
I can sleep literally anywhere.
I mean this isn't an invitation to make me sleep on the floor because I'm not sleeping on the floor.
I'm just saying.
Not an actual punishment.
Yeah. That's a real thing that happens.
And you're not a danger to them.
[ other people are a danger to them but. that's a conversation for another time. ]
I'm realizing now that this new place has a lot of brick.
Which is fine for like
Everything except for how much you fantasize about smacking my head into walls.
Anyway. I guess I'm packing my stuff?
I'm packing my stuff.
Is that cool? I mean if I come over now and like.
Don't come back here.
Officially.
Is that cool.
no subject
You get through an entire night without annoying me, and I'll blow you again.
You seemed to respond well to that last time.
[ he says, as if he's not going to find literally any opportunity to get stiles' dick in his mouth the second they live in the new place and can be as loud as they want. also, are they at a point where he can make blowjob jokes? only one way to find out, he guesses.
not going to comment on the isaac thing. he'll only ask questions, and he knows that's not where they are yet. ]
Yeah. That's cool.
I wish you'd done it a week ago, actually.
Should've asked sooner.
We should do something. Mark the occasion. Once we've actually moved.
I don't know what, because we're going to have very little money and I don't want to go out, but.
Something.
no subject
because stiles is working himself up to this. there's literally no reason to be nervous but also every reason to be nervous. but it's cool. this is no big deal. ]
What if
And this is just an idea
We can totally do something else
But what if
To mark the occasion
You let me blow you instead.
In the new place.
[ says the guy who has never given a bj in his life. the pressure here is. a lot. IT'LL BE FINE. ]
no subject
Maybe. I don't know.
[ he swallows. okay. he. wants this. but. ]
I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do.
And I don't want you to... feel like you have to do that for me because I did that first.
So.
Is that. Something you want? Or.
no subject
Yeah
Yes
I mean I've never actually
But I want to. With you.
Even before you did it for me I'd thought about it
Forever ago
Like that summer forever ago but still
But I mean you don't have to say yes
We can do something else like
I have no idea but something else
You're not obligated to say yes
My feelings won't be hurt
It's cool I swear
no subject
I want that.
I've thought about it a lot, too.
You should've told me. Over summer.
If I felt even half as much for you then as I do now, I would've gone for it.
So. Yes.
I want. That.
[ he just... had to make sure that stiles wanted it too. and he does. and he's wanted that since before derek even... realized there was something here to want. that's, uh. that's information. that sure is information.
derek needs a second, again. ]
What... have you done? Can I ask that?
I mean - at home. And... here.
How did you fill your quota?
no subject
[ but also: if i felt even half as much for you then as i do now. rip, stiles. that's a lot. that's... a lot. and stiles feels a little fluttery about it and kind of dumb for feeling so fluttery about it but. okay. it's cool. derek likes him, this is not news anymore, even if it still feels like news.
anyway, that fluttery feeling plummets, because derek is asking about stiles'... sexual history and that's. it's. he's embarrassed? he suddenly feels really embarrassed.
okay. okay, it's. derek should probably know this stuff. for future reference or something. ]
Back home I just
My ex-girlfriend and I
I mean she wasn't my ex at the time but
You probably guessed that without me clarifying
But we had... regular sex?
Not like sex regularly but. I guess sort of that too but I mean
I don't know, regular sex. Vaginal sex.
I'm never typing the word vaginal again for as long as I live oh my god
Anyway, that was at home.
Here I just
Kind of got by with
[ hello mortification hello embarrassment. hello. kind of vaguely ill feeling. ]
Anonymous handjobs?
I don't know, there's this club
Where nobody cares about whether or not you have this season's coolest tattoo
So it was really easy to just
Take care of it without having to answer or ask too many questions
And you already know about
Everything I've done with you
no subject
Okay.
[ he's not sure what else to say. and he regrets asking, which is also stupid, because he's definitely done more with people than stiles ever has and he has no right to feel insecure, but - it's. he kind of hates everything he's ever done, physically speaking, both here and at home. he hates every single second of his sexual history, except for what he's done with stiles. if stiles had said he's still sexually active with a regular hookup that derek couldn't possibly measure up to, he'd just...
he'd. fuck. nevermind. this is stupid, too, jesus christ, he's being stupid. stupid and immature. derek tries to snap out of it, tries to focus on just. talking. being normal. ]
Does that make me the first guy you've
[ a pause. he knows that he's the first stiles has been with in... some regards, but that's not what he's asking. derek hesitates, because he and stiles said they wanted to be something, but derek didn't try to clarify what he meant, exactly, and this might be the first time he actually drops what he wants. what he assumes this is. what he hopes this is.
he hesitates, then types out five more letters and hits send. ]
Does that make me the first guy you've dated?
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but that's not what derek asks him, and stiles' stomach sinks and swoops a little too abruptly. he blinks a couple times in rapid succession as he stares down at his phone, like he's trying to - unblur his vision, or waiting for the words to rearrange into something else. but they don't.
derek's still asking if he's he first guy he's dated.
they're dating. like, that's - an official thing. with a label, sort of. not just some vague, hopeful idea stiles had. okay. okay, that's. this is good. this is really good, stiles likes this. he likes this a lot. ]
That is what that makes you.
Derek. The first guy I've dated.
Am. First guy I am dating.
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[ okay.
it's good that stiles repeats himself, really clarifies his answer. derek's already folding in on himself a little and wishing he'd never asked, beating himself up for trying, and it takes the quick one-two punch that stiles sends him to really knock that line of thinking out of orbit.
every part of derek is telling him to pull the brakes. to stop piling up unsteady brick onto unsteady brick, because he knows all it will take is one wrong move for everything to crumble and for stiles to get hurt. he's gone over that in his head time and time and time again, fearing the sobering reality check that's going to come for him when this happy little bubble bursts and he's flung back into the decimating smell of ash.
but he doesn't. he still feels emboldened by their night together. the confessions, the intimacy. the mutual desire for this to go as far as it can go. he thinks of the regret that's been sitting in his chest ever since his refusal to say i love you,. derek hesitates, and he knows he's pushing things here, about to drop another title stiles might not be willing to share, but after spending so long in freefall, he wants to see something land. ]
Same. To you.
I've been with men. But I've never.
Had a boyfriend.
Until now.
You.
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stiles has never had a boyfriend before, but he figures it's probably similar to having a girlfriend, even if his one girlfriend experience is rather... unique. in a lot of ways.
but derek has never had a boyfriend either, which is kind of surprising to stiles. it also makes him feel kind of warm and. pleased. that he gets to be a first, in some capacity, for derek. ]
Well I hope you're ready for me to boyfriend the crap out of you then.
I'm gonna boyfriend you so hard.
[ stiles. ]
Don't say you're going to break up with me, that's predictable.
But seriously. That's.
It's cool. I mean I kind of like that I'm your first boyfriend?
Kind of is a little bit of an understatement
But I'm trying to make this last for more than ten seconds before you change your mind so I'm
Reeling it in.
But I do like it. A lot.
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[ about this. about stiles, about his feelings, about any of this. he wants this to last, and he's going to aggressively fight every fucking second of his life spent worrying about how he's going to screw this up. he's going to do everything he can to stay strong and optimistic and open and not shut down out of fear or resentment or self-preservation. he's not going to lose this.
even if he does sort of wince a little at "i'm gonna boyfriend you so hard", because that was kind of stupid and maybe this was all a terrible mistake, but. you know what? stiles is endearing. derek's endeared. ]
I'm in this. For as long as you'll have me.
So.
Go fuck yourself.
I like that you're my first, too.
You're pretty special. A word I'm using as both a compliment and an insult.
Mostly a compliment.
I'm really lucky. You could date better people than me. I'm glad you're enough of an idiot to think otherwise.
Are you nearly here?
no subject
stiles... does not deserve this. stiles does not feel like he deserve this because it's. it just feels like it's too good to be true. derek wanting to be with him, derek saying things like i'm in this for as long as you'll have me (followed by go fuck yourself, which just - makes stiles smile, even though it probably shouldn't). stiles doesn't ever find himself this lucky.
if he's standing in the corner of the elevator, trying to bite back a smile and looking like a goddamn idiot, well. who cares. he doesn't. ]
Bold of you to assume I'm the idiot here.
Like I'm not trying to put myself down here but I'm just saying
There are a lot of pretty people here in Bonertown
And back home
But I'm not gonna point out that it might be time for you to book an appointment with your local werewolf optometrist.
Anyway, I don't know better people.
I'm not interested in these imaginary hypothetical better people.
I'm like... fifteen minutes out?
I caught the elevators right as the doors were closing so
It'll be like ten minutes for that and another fiveish from there.
Maybe ten. I don't have a lot of stuff like objectively speaking.
But it's a lot to carry across town I guess.
Anyway. Fifteen minutes, give or take.
no subject
Shut up.
I like you. More than anyone else.
Physically. Emotionally. There's nobody I could want more than I want you. Nobody I've ever wanted more than you. Nobody who makes me feel the way you make me feel.
Safe. Happy.
"Werewolf optometrist", ugh. Stupid.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Moron.
[ so. yeah. derek's thumb hovers over his phone, and there are other things he wants to say. thoughts he wants to add. "i hope i'll be enough for you", "i miss you all the time", "i love you". overwhelming, intense feelings that he shouldn't be drowning in this early into a relationship. feelings that battle constant anxiety - what if stiles leaves, what if stiles gets hurt, what if derek's too much, what if derek's not enough. derek looks down at his screen, watches the light fade to save its battery, then swipes his thumb over message box and taps something out. ]
I'm really looking forward to seeing you.
I know we see each other all the time.
But I am. Very excited. And I don't... get excited. But I am. Right now.
I'm going to see you. Soon. Today. And then I'm going to see you tonight, and then I'm going to see you in the morning, and then I'm going to see you tomorrow, and you won't have to leave, because you're going to live with me.
And I'm.
Excited.
For that.
Are you?
no subject
derek's not that mean. derek can't be that mean, not about that. and derek told him he liked him, even before now. even before all of these text messages, derek has told him multiple times that he likes stiles and. stiles just needs to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. anticipating the worst is just going to sour the present and he doesn't want to do that.
he's blushing really, really deep though, which he tries to cover up by ducking his head and scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck. he feels really warm, and it takes him a second to get his thumbs working. ]
If you don't stop you're going to make me sprint out of this elevator as soon as the doors open
Which wouldn't actually be a problem if I wasn't carrying a backpack and a bunch of other stuff but I'd probably trip and scrape the crap out of my elbows and maybe my knees
And that sucks for people who don't insta-heal FYI
But I might just do it anyway and take the risk
Seems kind of worth it
Because I'm really excited too.
I'm excited that you're excited.
That makes me feel really good.
[ "that makes me feel really good". he sounds like a dumbass. he sounds so lame but he just. it's true. and he wants derek to know that. he wants derek to know that he makes him feel good even if it's just over little things. like derek being excited to see him, excited to live with him. ]
You make me feel really, really good and happy and safe and important and I've never really.
Had this.
Not all at once.
Not like this.
no subject
derek stands, and he paces in front of his front door, trying to burn out some of the extra energy that's been building up since he'd started talking to stiles. he's impatient. soon as stiles walks through that door, derek's gonna have to kiss him. ]
Good.
I feel good. If you feel good.
I mean, I'd feel good anyway. But I feel good that you feel good. You feeling good makes me feel good.
[ wait, now derek sounds like a dumbass. he stops pacing, stares down at his phone, then recalibrates. ]
Anyway.
Sorry.
I feel the same. Never had this. Not all at once.
I was young. With Paige. I don't know how much you know about her. Us.
But I was stupid. Naive. It wasn't real. Not really.
Then there was Kate. And that wasn't real, either. In a different way.
And now there's you.
Solid. Real.
I haven't really been happy like this before. I haven't even been a little happy, since Laura.
And now.
It's all at once.
I'm scared. All the time. And I'm happy. All the time.
And I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to behave. So.
I'm sorry. If I get carried away.
I just like you.
A lot.
no subject
I know about Paige.
I know about what happened to her.
I know she's why your eyes used to be blue.
And I know you tried to save her after Peter made you believe you needed to change her.
I don't think you were stupid or naive.
I just think you trusted your uncle. It's not your fault he had other motives.
[ but. anyway. the elevator starts to slow as it approaches the upper level, and stiles has half the mind to push past a few people to mash his thumb against the doors open button, but. he still has to pick up his things, which he'll do in a minute. ]
I want you to be happy. I want you to feel happy and I don't ever want you to feel scared
Of me or of us.
I mean that's kind of hypocritical of me because I'm scared too but
I just really, really want this
And I don't want to do something wrong or like
Overstep or say something too stupid to come back from so it just
Makes me nervous
A lot
You make me nervous but like
In the best way I guess.
And believe me
If you think I'm gonna tell you to stop saying all these nice things about me because you're getting "carried away"
Well I've never laughed so hard in my life.
Elevator's almost stopped.
Hopefully some asshole hasn't pushed all the buttons again in your building.
I don't know if I can run up all those stairs with this extra weight.
no subject
but the fact that stiles knows so much about paige gets to him, a little, because he doesn't talk about her. he's said her name twice in the past eight or so years, and both of them were to stiles within the last few days. for stiles to know not only about their relationship, but about her death, and about peter? to know, and - to not be disgusted with him?
it's a lot. it's a lot, to think that stiles still wants him despite knowing what he knows. derek wets his lips, starts pacing again, feels his stomach get unsettled. he can't talk about paige anymore, not over the phone. he moves past it. ]
That's how I feel. I don't want to overstep, I don't want to do anything wrong.
I don't want to hurt you. That's what I'm afraid of.
But.
[ elevator's almost stopped. derek gets annoyed, again. he can't wait to just... move. live together. not have to wait all the time. ]
I know you won't screw this up.
I don't think you could if you tried.
You're smart. Kind.
Caring. You've cared about me more than... anyone else ever has. Except for my mom, maybe.
You make me feel like I'm okay. That's a hard thing to do.
Nobody's ever made me feel this okay.
no subject
You deserve it.
I know you probably don't think you do
But I'm usually always right so you're just going to have to trust that I know what I'm talking about.
You deserve to feel okay for once.
And I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure I don't do anything to mess that up
Gotta run though
See you soon.
[ stiles pockets his phone and scrambles to pick his things up, barely making it out of the elevator before the doors close, twisting his body sideways to avoid shoulder-checking one of the doors.
he's been in the up dozens of times before, maybe hundreds, but this feels - different. maybe it's not even the up, maybe it's just - the purpose for this trek. his backpack is heavy, his arms are full. he's going to see derek and he's not going to have to leave in the morning for fear of overstaying his welcome.
they're going to move and have a space that's theirs, private. something closer to the woods, with a lot of windows and a lot of space and. it's just. stiles is happy. it's weird, to feel happy in a city that has, so far, been the primary source of his misery, his frayed nerves, anxiety. but he feels good now. he feels so good that he almost does kind of want to run to derek, but he knows himself, and he knows he'll likely trip, because running is - weird, with your arms crossed over your body. so he settles for speed walking.
stiles makes it to the highrise in roughly five minutes, and when he presses the button for the elevator with the back of his wrist, it only takes a handful of seconds for the doors to open. stiles steps in, immediately turns - and sets his stuff down on the floor again to free up both of his hands.
there's a little trick he knows. it doesn't work in all elevators - mostly only older models -, but it's handy when it works. stiles presses and holds the doors close button, pushes and holds the button for the 89th floor, and doesn't let either button go until the doors are closed and the lift starts to move. even if it does work, he's got time, so he picks up his stuff - a pile of folded clothes, mostly flannel shirts and a couple pairs of chinos
it works though. either there's nobody between the first and 89th floors waiting for the elevator, or stiles' little bypass trick worked, because the elevator doesn't stop the whole way, and when the doors finally open again, stiles is... yawning. well, he's trying to pop his ears, but it looks like he's yawning, working his jaw. he rounds the corner out into the common space between the two apartments on this floor and when he gets to derek's door he feels - excited. excited and stupid and kind of nervous but it's good-nervous. he lifts his foot, intending to kick the bottom of a couple times in lieu of knocking because his arms are full of the clothes he couldn't fit in his backpack (and his bat is tucked underneath the straps of his bag, across his shoulders, i almost forgot about his dumb bat)--
but the door opens before his shoe can make contact so his foot swings out a little further than expected before he just - steps forward onto it. stiles looks at derek over the pile of folded laundry held close to his chest, he smiles, small and dumb. ]
... Hey. Made it. I, uh. I tricked the elevator.
no subject
but then he lets that go and actually listens, really fores himself to reread what stiles said. the promise to be there for him, the unwavering determination to see derek in a light that he just doesn't understand. stiles has been nothing but good and kind and supportive, even back home. he didn't have to keep him alive, all those times he did. he didn't ever have to care about him.
so derek paces by his front door again, waiting, impatient. this place has felt so much better, since stiles started coming over - there's a soda stain on the carpet from where they first played chess, derek has some of stiles' clothes washed and folded by his bed, he can smell stiles in the sheets. the new place is going to have stiles ingrained in it, and derek might not be able to survive it.
he hears stiles coming through the door, ears picking up and head raised like a dog hearing its owner come back from the store. derek genuinely tries to be good, he genuinely tries to hold himself back from playing all his cards and showing just how badly he wants to see him, but he honestly can't help himself. stiles stands by the door and derek swings it open, and when he sees him, he can't find the words to express just how happy he is that he's here.
so he doesn't bother using them. he all but dashes forward, sets his hands against stiles' jawline, and he takes him in a kiss, sweet and frantic. he closes his eyes and he just feels stiles' lips against his own, breathing a sigh through his nose like he's finally able to just relax, after hours of being tense and alone, hours of waiting. he holds his breath while they kiss, and he doesn't mind the feeling of his lungs burning when they run out of air.
he pulls back, looking at stiles with his usual level of stern, unapproachable apathy, but there's color in his cheeks, and he doesn't seem to know where to look, flicking his eyes over every inch of stiles' face or off to the side. he breathes in deep, filling his chest, then lets go. he takes stiles' things without asking, then heads into the bedroom to set them down.
derek comes back to the entrance with his thumb grazing over his bottom lip, like he can still feel stiles against him, then quickly drops his arm the second he realizes he could be seen. he's moving sort of mechanically, like he's not really paying attention to what he's doing - his mind's still on the kiss, on stiles, too distracted for anything else. he turns on his heel, looks at stiles, and he's touching his lip again, automatic and unnoticed. he's forgotten to actually say hi.
so. shit. okay. he raises his other arm. gives a bit of a wave, scrunching his fingers down to his palm. ]
Hey.
no subject
instead, he melts. his eyes close and he sighs out through his nose and he leans into derek just a bit, pressing his crossed arms into derek's chest, squashing his clothes between the both of them. his stupid bat catches in the doorway, which is frustrating, but probably also a good thing, otherwise he might have just fallen right on in, tripped right into derek, moreso than he already has.
when derek pulls back, stiles only barely manages not to tilt forward, his eyes still closed and his lips still gently pursed. he looks like an idiot. he looks so dumb but he feels kind of floaty and loose and content. he swipes his tongue across lower lip, and then opens his eyes, only because derek is - taking all of his stuff from him. stiles lets it all go, twists to let derek pull his backpack off of him. he keeps the bat, just because he forgets to hand it over.
stiles stays in the entryway. for a second or three he just stands there, a little dumb-looking as he glances around the apartment. his eyes fall on the darkened stain on the carpet, which makes his stomach flip and swoop a little with a tiny wave of arousal. he's going to live with derek. he and derek are going to live together. here, for a night or two probably, and then they're going to move and leave this place behind and stiles is... really excited about it. as fondly as he looks at the carpet stain, there isn't really a whole lot he's going to miss about this apartment once he and derek set up in a new place.
he glances up when derek comes back, watching him quietly as he touches his lip. stiles casually leans the wide end of his bat against the floor, leans some of his weight into the handle, using it as a crutch. like a makeshift cane. he opens his fingers around the flat base, then flexes them and curls them into a fist, scratching at the back of one calf with his opposite foot.
stiles is smiling when derek finally looks up, though it's faint and you kind of have to squint to see it. he raises his eyebrows questioningly, but finds himself breaking out into a wider, brighter, slightly lopsided smile. he lifts his free hand, splays his fingers a little in an awkward wave. ]
... Hi. Where'd you go?
[ not like - physically. stiles knows he went to the bedroom to put his stuff down, but derek looks a little spacey and distracted, and he keeps touching his bottom lip and it's. kind of cute. it's really cute. just to be clear, though, stiles lifts his awkward wave-y hand and taps his fingers to the side of his own head. ]
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