[Tate doesn't know what to say, so he stays quiet for little bit; he tugs down the sleeves of his shirt, and rubs his thumb over his nail beds one by one as if to inspect them. It gives him something to look at that isn't Derek, while he tries to think of what to reply with. Defending his habits won't fly well. Explaining the need for them? Probably not, either.]
I just want to feel balanced. I don't think I ever have.
[He always expected to, or hinged his belief he could be on someone. But was he ever?]
Maybe with my girlfriend. But I only have so many options here, y'know.
[ And he could repeat himself - make it clear, again, that he wants to be a balancing force for Tate - but he's done it enough, and anymore will feel empty and cheap. He needs to show Tate that he wants to balance him, that he wants to be there for him. Tate doesn't carve power and hope, the way that Boyd, Erica and Isaac did. He just wants to be normal.
He needs to figure out how to sway him to the bite. It would fix all his problems. Save him. Derek wants to save him.
Derek takes a breath, looks up at the ceiling, shifting his weight. Everything feels distant, suddenly. Beacon Hills, his family. He's realizing with this fine, precise awareness that everything he's ever known is - kind of in the past. This isn't the first time he's realized he's the only Hale left alive, but it might hit him harder now than it has before. There's a long stretch of silence before he finds his voice again. ]
I wish I could do more than just promise to be here.
[Tate's voice is soft and low, and he's chewing on his nails again. He's used to promises. Kept or otherwise, the majority of them let him down. People let him down. But if Derek wants to actually make vows and promises? Keeping them is going to be what has Tate trust him indefinitely. The way he wants to.]
I'm trusting you so... that's all you need to do for now.
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I just want to feel balanced. I don't think I ever have.
[He always expected to, or hinged his belief he could be on someone. But was he ever?]
Maybe with my girlfriend. But I only have so many options here, y'know.
no subject
[ And he could repeat himself - make it clear, again, that he wants to be a balancing force for Tate - but he's done it enough, and anymore will feel empty and cheap. He needs to show Tate that he wants to balance him, that he wants to be there for him. Tate doesn't carve power and hope, the way that Boyd, Erica and Isaac did. He just wants to be normal.
He needs to figure out how to sway him to the bite. It would fix all his problems. Save him. Derek wants to save him.
Derek takes a breath, looks up at the ceiling, shifting his weight. Everything feels distant, suddenly. Beacon Hills, his family. He's realizing with this fine, precise awareness that everything he's ever known is - kind of in the past. This isn't the first time he's realized he's the only Hale left alive, but it might hit him harder now than it has before. There's a long stretch of silence before he finds his voice again. ]
I wish I could do more than just promise to be here.
no subject
[Tate's voice is soft and low, and he's chewing on his nails again. He's used to promises. Kept or otherwise, the majority of them let him down. People let him down. But if Derek wants to actually make vows and promises? Keeping them is going to be what has Tate trust him indefinitely. The way he wants to.]
I'm trusting you so... that's all you need to do for now.