Wish I'd known you back home. Somehow. I would have taken you away from everything. Not that my life was much better, but... at least I could have looked after you.
Do you want to talk about your psychiatrist? Or. Maybe you can tell me more about that boy you like so much? All I really know about him is that he's sweet. And that you're, uh. Working on understanding how to practice monogamy. Just in case.
fun fact: the guy I had an anonymous hook up with (twice) before realizing it was the same guy is in fact the guy I now have a thing for. the uh, more you know? before you say "how the fuck did that happen" I gotta say the second time masks were involved.
imagine that being the story of how we landed together. "we screwed for quota and now we're here!"
[ just... putting that out there. that quiet confession that yes. he remembers the masks. ]
It's not like every couple has a meet cute. The real world isn't full of Jennifer Anistons. You like him. He likes you. That can be romantic enough on its own, even if you did happen to meet by barebacking in the streets. We can't all accidentally touch each other's hands at a coffee shop.
[ okay. well. he hates that. he hates that he knows this. he likes peter less now. but he also definitely brought this on himself, HE GUESSES. ]
I don't know. I've fucked in an alley since coming here. I had a fucking threesome in the streets at Carnaval while people watched, and that wouldn't even be in the top ten list of depraved things I've done in this fucking city. I'm not exactly in a position to judge. But.
I'm older than you. So. Scratch that. I can judge all I want. Yes. You have low standards. The absolute lowest.
This seems like kind of a dangerous topic. I don't want to... normalize sleeping around when you've been asking me how to manage a relationship. This city does enough for that without hearing it from me. I don't need to sit here and brag about getting my dick wet, either. I don't exactly give a shit about that kind of thing.
[ but - you know. he'll go into details if he's pushed. ]
yeah, I know. I'm just curious but if it was something relating to the masks or the other stuff that happened then, I get it spur of the moment, right?
Yeah. That might be worse, though. At least if it meant something - at least if I'd decided to screw around - I'd have been in control.
[ Not that it ever could have meant something - not that Derek's saying he'd have preferred it if it meant something, because seriously, the last thing he'd ever want is to hurt Stiles - but at least if he'd felt more clearheaded, more in control of the situation, he'd be able to say he never lost his bodily autonomy. He's pretty desperate to keep a firm grip on that shit, after everything back home.
Ugh. ]
This couple... I don't know if they're a couple or not, but - I think they are - They approached me. Wanted me, together. One of them asked me to share the other with them. And... we shared. That's all.
The full moon makes me kind of fucked up. The masks really pushed that feeling. Made it bigger. Made me more... starving. For everything. I just really needed to fuck. Dominate. I got that. At the Carnaval. Partially with them. Partially with others. That's what this city does. Starves you. I feel like it's just easier for them to starve me, seeing as I'm already starving half the time already.
Dunno, back alleys and bathrooms are the most public shit I've done it was a little weird to screw in the woods. back at the fort, during that hunt? didn't really care for that.
so. did you mean you're always horny or that you're always looking for something?
Fuck, jesus. I don't know. I don't know what you want me to say. I didn't mean I'm always horny - I mean, I get pretty wired around the full moon, and I think LIES knows how to replicate and take advantage of that feeling, but - "Always looking for something".
[ yes. of course he is. he's a wolf without a pack, he's an orphan who lost his family. he's a monster surrounded by humans. his whole life is nothing but missing pieces. ]
[ Derek's lucky, in the grand scheme of things. He has Stiles, and he's an Alpha, and he's a survivor - he knows that he's been luckier than the rest of his family. But it's... it's hard for him not to relate to Tate. Hard for him not to see himself in the kid. Hard for him not to understand why Tate gravitated so hard to Violet, the same way he gravitated to Kate. Grief and loss just - fosters a need to find comfort in someone else. ]
Yeah.
Might not be able to offer any grand solutions, but. I can offer... treehouses. Pizza. Bullshit like that. Solidarity. At least we can feel incomplete together.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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You don't have to convince me of shit.
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only for him to turn around and say never talk to his kid again
fun times.
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Wish I'd known you back home. Somehow.
I would have taken you away from everything.
Not that my life was much better, but... at least I could have looked after you.
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my life would've turned out a lot different
i'm sure of it.
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[ anyway. ]
Do you want to talk about your psychiatrist? Or.
Maybe you can tell me more about that boy you like so much?
All I really know about him is that he's sweet. And that you're, uh.
Working on understanding how to practice monogamy. Just in case.
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[Hard to tell, but Tate's not offended.]
what's more fun to talk about, the guy I have a crush on or the dad of my ex?
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I don't know. Your call.
Maybe you're a masochist. Maybe you love the feeling of self-flagellation.
You're friends with me, so. Wouldn't be a shocker.
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imagine that being the story of how we landed together. "we screwed for quota and now we're here!"
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[ just... putting that out there. that quiet confession that yes. he remembers the masks. ]
It's not like every couple has a meet cute. The real world isn't full of Jennifer Anistons.
You like him. He likes you. That can be romantic enough on its own, even if you did happen to meet by barebacking in the streets. We can't all accidentally touch each other's hands at a coffee shop.
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for your information it was a back alley
we have standards, derek.
[TMI?]
I don't know if that lowers or raises them but
you know. around here it's hard to tell
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I don't know. I've fucked in an alley since coming here. I had a fucking threesome in the streets at Carnaval while people watched, and that wouldn't even be in the top ten list of depraved things I've done in this fucking city.
I'm not exactly in a position to judge.
But.
I'm older than you. So. Scratch that. I can judge all I want.
Yes.
You have low standards. The absolute lowest.
[ he's kidding. like 98% kidding. ]
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be kind and rewind a second: a fucking THREEsome?
derek, details? details?
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This seems like kind of a dangerous topic.
I don't want to... normalize sleeping around when you've been asking me how to manage a relationship. This city does enough for that without hearing it from me.
I don't need to sit here and brag about getting my dick wet, either. I don't exactly give a shit about that kind of thing.
[ but - you know. he'll go into details if he's pushed. ]
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but if it was something relating to the masks or
the other stuff that happened then, I get it
spur of the moment, right?
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That might be worse, though. At least if it meant something - at least if I'd decided to screw around - I'd have been in control.
[ Not that it ever could have meant something - not that Derek's saying he'd have preferred it if it meant something, because seriously, the last thing he'd ever want is to hurt Stiles - but at least if he'd felt more clearheaded, more in control of the situation, he'd be able to say he never lost his bodily autonomy. He's pretty desperate to keep a firm grip on that shit, after everything back home.
Ugh. ]
This couple... I don't know if they're a couple or not, but - I think they are -
They approached me. Wanted me, together. One of them asked me to share the other with them. And... we shared. That's all.
The full moon makes me kind of fucked up. The masks really pushed that feeling. Made it bigger.
Made me more... starving. For everything.
I just really needed to fuck. Dominate.
I got that. At the Carnaval.
Partially with them. Partially with others.
That's what this city does. Starves you. I feel like it's just easier for them to starve me, seeing as I'm already starving half the time already.
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what do you mean like
you want for something?
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Doesn't matter. Nevermind.
Your turn.
Tell me some sordid shit you've done.
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it was a little weird to screw in the woods. back at the fort, during that hunt?
didn't really care for that.
so. did you mean you're always horny or
that you're always looking for something?
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Man. It doesn't matter.
Why do you care? It's not important.
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Fuck, jesus. I don't know. I don't know what you want me to say.
I didn't mean I'm always horny - I mean, I get pretty wired around the full moon, and I think LIES knows how to replicate and take advantage of that feeling, but -
"Always looking for something".
[ yes. of course he is. he's a wolf without a pack, he's an orphan who lost his family. he's a monster surrounded by humans. his whole life is nothing but missing pieces. ]
I don't know. Yes. Yeah.
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so I understand
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Well...
What do you feel like you're looking for?
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I just feel like I don't have it yet
whatever it is.
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Yeah.
Might not be able to offer any grand solutions, but.
I can offer... treehouses. Pizza. Bullshit like that.
Solidarity. At least we can feel incomplete together.
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