yeah, I know. I'm just curious but if it was something relating to the masks or the other stuff that happened then, I get it spur of the moment, right?
Yeah. That might be worse, though. At least if it meant something - at least if I'd decided to screw around - I'd have been in control.
[ Not that it ever could have meant something - not that Derek's saying he'd have preferred it if it meant something, because seriously, the last thing he'd ever want is to hurt Stiles - but at least if he'd felt more clearheaded, more in control of the situation, he'd be able to say he never lost his bodily autonomy. He's pretty desperate to keep a firm grip on that shit, after everything back home.
Ugh. ]
This couple... I don't know if they're a couple or not, but - I think they are - They approached me. Wanted me, together. One of them asked me to share the other with them. And... we shared. That's all.
The full moon makes me kind of fucked up. The masks really pushed that feeling. Made it bigger. Made me more... starving. For everything. I just really needed to fuck. Dominate. I got that. At the Carnaval. Partially with them. Partially with others. That's what this city does. Starves you. I feel like it's just easier for them to starve me, seeing as I'm already starving half the time already.
Dunno, back alleys and bathrooms are the most public shit I've done it was a little weird to screw in the woods. back at the fort, during that hunt? didn't really care for that.
so. did you mean you're always horny or that you're always looking for something?
Fuck, jesus. I don't know. I don't know what you want me to say. I didn't mean I'm always horny - I mean, I get pretty wired around the full moon, and I think LIES knows how to replicate and take advantage of that feeling, but - "Always looking for something".
[ yes. of course he is. he's a wolf without a pack, he's an orphan who lost his family. he's a monster surrounded by humans. his whole life is nothing but missing pieces. ]
[ Derek's lucky, in the grand scheme of things. He has Stiles, and he's an Alpha, and he's a survivor - he knows that he's been luckier than the rest of his family. But it's... it's hard for him not to relate to Tate. Hard for him not to see himself in the kid. Hard for him not to understand why Tate gravitated so hard to Violet, the same way he gravitated to Kate. Grief and loss just - fosters a need to find comfort in someone else. ]
Yeah.
Might not be able to offer any grand solutions, but. I can offer... treehouses. Pizza. Bullshit like that. Solidarity. At least we can feel incomplete together.
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but if it was something relating to the masks or
the other stuff that happened then, I get it
spur of the moment, right?
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That might be worse, though. At least if it meant something - at least if I'd decided to screw around - I'd have been in control.
[ Not that it ever could have meant something - not that Derek's saying he'd have preferred it if it meant something, because seriously, the last thing he'd ever want is to hurt Stiles - but at least if he'd felt more clearheaded, more in control of the situation, he'd be able to say he never lost his bodily autonomy. He's pretty desperate to keep a firm grip on that shit, after everything back home.
Ugh. ]
This couple... I don't know if they're a couple or not, but - I think they are -
They approached me. Wanted me, together. One of them asked me to share the other with them. And... we shared. That's all.
The full moon makes me kind of fucked up. The masks really pushed that feeling. Made it bigger.
Made me more... starving. For everything.
I just really needed to fuck. Dominate.
I got that. At the Carnaval.
Partially with them. Partially with others.
That's what this city does. Starves you. I feel like it's just easier for them to starve me, seeing as I'm already starving half the time already.
no subject
what do you mean like
you want for something?
no subject
Doesn't matter. Nevermind.
Your turn.
Tell me some sordid shit you've done.
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it was a little weird to screw in the woods. back at the fort, during that hunt?
didn't really care for that.
so. did you mean you're always horny or
that you're always looking for something?
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Man. It doesn't matter.
Why do you care? It's not important.
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no subject
Fuck, jesus. I don't know. I don't know what you want me to say.
I didn't mean I'm always horny - I mean, I get pretty wired around the full moon, and I think LIES knows how to replicate and take advantage of that feeling, but -
"Always looking for something".
[ yes. of course he is. he's a wolf without a pack, he's an orphan who lost his family. he's a monster surrounded by humans. his whole life is nothing but missing pieces. ]
I don't know. Yes. Yeah.
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so I understand
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Well...
What do you feel like you're looking for?
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I just feel like I don't have it yet
whatever it is.
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Yeah.
Might not be able to offer any grand solutions, but.
I can offer... treehouses. Pizza. Bullshit like that.
Solidarity. At least we can feel incomplete together.
no subject
guess I'm game.