[ it's a talent, really, how derek manages to make everything sound so condescending and dismissive while also being pretty clearly loving and affectionate. when derek starts talking, he just... talks. says what he's thinking. ]
First time I touched myself thinking about you - we were still back home. We'd spent eight hours in that pool. Trying to stay alive. You kept me above water. Kept me breathing.
[ derek remembers going home. remembers thinking about what stiles did for him. the lifeline he was for him. he thought about the surprisingly strong grip of his hands. the determination to keep him afloat. the stamina. he laid in bed, and his heart was still in his throat, and he thought of stiles saying an abomination, looking at derek like he wasn't the aberration he grew up to believe he was, but a strong, beautiful existence that can be corrupted the same as humanity could. stiles told him he wasn't the disease. that he was just like him. ]
Kept thinking about that time I pushed you against your bedroom door. The time after that where you made me take off my shirt for your friend. Danny. The back of the police car. The woods outside my house. All I could smell was you. The chlorine. Kept imagining how much different all those days could have gone. If I'd pushed you against the door a little harder. Taken my clothes off a little slower. Locked the car from the inside. I was angry. Young. But.
[ ... ]
Would have fucked you. Even back then. Would've fucked you against the bedroom door. Pounding your cock in my fist while I knotted you. Would've kept you all to myself from the start, if you'd let me.
no subject
Best lay I've ever had.
[ it's a talent, really, how derek manages to make everything sound so condescending and dismissive while also being pretty clearly loving and affectionate. when derek starts talking, he just... talks. says what he's thinking. ]
First time I touched myself thinking about you - we were still back home.
We'd spent eight hours in that pool. Trying to stay alive. You kept me above water. Kept me breathing.
[ derek remembers going home. remembers thinking about what stiles did for him. the lifeline he was for him. he thought about the surprisingly strong grip of his hands. the determination to keep him afloat. the stamina. he laid in bed, and his heart was still in his throat, and he thought of stiles saying an abomination, looking at derek like he wasn't the aberration he grew up to believe he was, but a strong, beautiful existence that can be corrupted the same as humanity could. stiles told him he wasn't the disease. that he was just like him. ]
Kept thinking about that time I pushed you against your bedroom door. The time after that where you made me take off my shirt for your friend. Danny.
The back of the police car.
The woods outside my house.
All I could smell was you. The chlorine.
Kept imagining how much different all those days could have gone.
If I'd pushed you against the door a little harder.
Taken my clothes off a little slower.
Locked the car from the inside.
I was angry. Young. But.
[ ... ]
Would have fucked you. Even back then.
Would've fucked you against the bedroom door. Pounding your cock in my fist while I knotted you.
Would've kept you all to myself from the start, if you'd let me.