[ Humans don't say things like that to Derek. There's Stiles, obviously - but he's an exception, he's always been an exception. This stabilising force Derek clings to. His anchor. There was... Paige, and there was Kate, but Paige is gone and Kate was a liar.
Tate throws him, a little. He's been kind like this before, but Derek's been dodging bringing up what Tate said - his fear of being dangerous, his desire to be normal. It felt like a rejection, a dealbreaker, waiting just beneath the surface of all of this, and for Tate to just so quickly dismiss Derek's worries and see him as someone better than just teeth and tearing and blood, it's -
A lot. ]
That's... what I want to be.
[ Safety. Derek swallows. ]
If you... if you do decide to take the bite...
[ Derek doesn't want to push this. Doesn't want to make Tate feel cornered or emotionally manipulated into taking the bite, even though the scales are swinging so clearly in that direction already. He looks at the guilt in him, the self-consciousness, and he just wants to take that away. To protect him, the way an Alpha should. ]
If you take the bite - you'll be my only beta here. I'll - give you everything I can give you. Attention, love, safety. Strength. Taking care of you will be one of my absolute, highest priorities. Anything you want, anything you need - all you'll have to do is ask for it, and I'll give it to you.
[ Tate matters to him. He'll only matter more, if this happens. Derek takes another long, long breath, and he pushes his attempt at being honest a little further. ]
I wasn't a good Alpha, back home. I want to be better here.
[ For Tate. For himself. For Stiles, if only to make him proud. For Erica, for Boyd, for Isaac. For Jackson. Laura. Scott. Fuck, even for Peter. So many things ride on.doing better. He wants to do so much better. ]
no subject
Tate throws him, a little. He's been kind like this before, but Derek's been dodging bringing up what Tate said - his fear of being dangerous, his desire to be normal. It felt like a rejection, a dealbreaker, waiting just beneath the surface of all of this, and for Tate to just so quickly dismiss Derek's worries and see him as someone better than just teeth and tearing and blood, it's -
A lot. ]
That's... what I want to be.
[ Safety. Derek swallows. ]
If you... if you do decide to take the bite...
[ Derek doesn't want to push this. Doesn't want to make Tate feel cornered or emotionally manipulated into taking the bite, even though the scales are swinging so clearly in that direction already. He looks at the guilt in him, the self-consciousness, and he just wants to take that away. To protect him, the way an Alpha should. ]
If you take the bite - you'll be my only beta here. I'll - give you everything I can give you. Attention, love, safety. Strength. Taking care of you will be one of my absolute, highest priorities. Anything you want, anything you need - all you'll have to do is ask for it, and I'll give it to you.
[ Tate matters to him. He'll only matter more, if this happens. Derek takes another long, long breath, and he pushes his attempt at being honest a little further. ]
I wasn't a good Alpha, back home. I want to be better here.
[ For Tate. For himself. For Stiles, if only to make him proud. For Erica, for Boyd, for Isaac. For Jackson. Laura. Scott. Fuck, even for Peter. So many things ride on.doing better. He wants to do so much better. ]