[ that's nothing, derek says to a serial fidgeter, to someone who talks more than he breathes sometimes. he gets what derek's trying to do, though, so stiles tries not to snap back at him. that would probably just earn him another ominous envelope in the mail anyway.
if he's honest, he's not all that worried about having to shut up and sit still. he can manage it if he has to, but what bothers him is that he shouldn't have to. to police and punish people for their opposing opinions, especially those that bring no harm to others - it's insane. it's authoritarian.
stiles drags a hand down over his face, down his throat, hooks his fingers into his collar and twists them around in his frustration, unintentionally stretching the material out a little. he sighs, shaking his head, mostly to himself. ]
Don't. I still haven't found another job yet. And we still have to pay rent. Finish your shift. It's not like I'm going anywhere.
[ stiles still has most of the money from the carnival left over, but he can only make that stretch so far before he's going to have to start chipping into his savings - which, admittedly, is not that much anymore - if he doesn't find another job soon. ]
[ derek... kind of wants to argue. it's his job - not as an alpha, not as a dom, but just by virtue of being derek - to provide for people he loves. the rent should fall to him. everything should fall to him. he knows that's unrealistic, but if he tried to pick up double shifts and work on getting that promotion he's been after, he could do it. feels like an easy argument to make.
but it's not like i'm going anywhere sounds kind of... well, it sounds like stiles is frustrated. not only with the citation, the undue punishment, but. maybe with being stuck in the house all day with nothing but a cat and his crimeboard. stiles has always been someone who needs something to do, and derek's not willing to clip his wings just for the sake of his own pride. ]
You could always work here. If you wanted to. We'd get to see each other every day. I... guess we already do that, but. We'd get to see each other more.
[ that's the idyllic answer. he's pretty sure that despite how fond of stiles his boss has been, if another sub was hired on here when traffic's so sparse, they'd be made to do all the worst jobs. janitorial work in a garage doesn't sound great. derek steps away from the wall he's been leaning against, dodging the urge to be pessimistic. last thing stiles needs is for derek to dwell in his bad mood. ]
Or - I can help you look for something that suits you. Something better. Maybe there's a lacrosse league.
[ if stiles were less irritated, he might see what derek's trying to for him here. he understands what derek's doing, he gets that he's trying to be encouraging and optimistic, that he's just trying to be helpful and maybe guide stiles toward a better mood - but it just frustrates him even more, and he doesn't know why.
the cat hops up onto a stool on the opposite side of the kitchen island, then hops up onto the counter. stiles glances up from his phone, his jaw tight, and instead of shooing her down because she's not supposed to be up there, he just slaps his hand down on the countertop, making a loud noise. it startles her, and she scurries, and stiles doesn't feel bad about it yet, but he will.
grinding his teeth lightly, stiles turns around - and he sits, right there on the kitchen floor, back leaned against the cabinets, knees pulled up, the backs of his wrists resting against them. he's got his phone in his hands, shoulders rounded. ]
Work there and do what? Sweep the floors after everyone's gone home? Clean out all the drip pans? Even if I didn't have to do a shitty job, what makes you think I qualify to work in a garage? What, are they going to call up the CEO of Duct Tape for a reference?
[ stiles knows his way around under the hood of a car just fine, he's just - being an asshole, mostly unintentionally. he's mad, and frustrated and annoyed, and he's taking it out on someone who doesn't deserve it. shame it'll take him a little bit longer to realize it. ]
You know how shitty that would be? We'd see each other more, but I'd have to act like your obedient little pet in front of everyone. Especially now, if I'm suddenly on a radar for citations. Yeah. Thanks but no thanks.
Nobody's going to pay me to play lacrosse. And they sure as shit aren't going to let a submissive coach an entire team. Not that I'd even want to But you know what? This place is great Nothing but good things to say about Duplicity.
[ derek's been getting a better grasp on his anger, the more time goes on here. there've been roadbumps - anything tate tells him about kavinsky, for instance, or any sidelong glance people give stiles when they think that he's alone, only to nod, relieved, when they notice derek standing next to him - that shit always sets him off, makes him bare his teeth, makes him feel like he's still a beta who needs anger to keep himself steady.
ultimately, he's been doing good. keeping his calm, using stiles as his anchor. now, though? stiles is snapping, and logically, derek knows that it's not his fault, but it feels like it is. his shoulders tense and the garage suddenly feels very fucking claustrophobic, so he rolls up the door and heads outside, face set in stone. his boss asks if there's trouble in paradise, to which derek replies fuck off, stanley.
i don't get why you're being like this, he almost writes. i'm the only person in this fucking city that'll help you.
it's fear, more than empathy, that keeps his mouth shut. stiles is charging head first into another six hour reprobation, and derek needs to cut him off at the heels before he says something worse. ]
You're right.
[ he walks until he's at the edge of the lot. even the fucking chain link fence surrounding the gravel that leads up to the main office building is all chrome and silver and polished. the up is a joke. derek hasn't been to the down in a while, but he's never forgotten how stark the difference between both levels are. ]
You're my sub. It's my job as your dom to find you a position with dignity. Keep your head down. I'll look around. We can talk about options tonight, after your punishment.
[ he very purposefully says punishment instead of citation - it's the kind of word a dom would use, and he's hoping it's a noticeable enough difference for stiles to realize he's being told to shut the fuck up. ]
Look - if I'm not coming home, I need to get back to work. I'll see you in a few hours, okay? Try to keep your spirits up.
[ it works. stiles get's really, really fucking angry over the word punishment - to the point that he sucks in a sharp, deep breath though his nose, clenches his teeth hard enough that it makes his jaw ache - and then it's like someone flips a switch and he just. sags back against the cabinets, realizing that he's being an absolute dick to derek for no reason.
he was a dick to the cat, too. stiles swallows and twists a little to see if he can see where she is, but he can't. he swallows again, sinks back against the cabinets, and puts his thumb nail in his mouth, breathing out slowly.
he's gotta find something to do. maybe another shower or - a nap, if he can manage to fall asleep now that he's fully awake. maybe a walk around the woods, some fresh air, some exercise before he has to be strapped down for a quarter of a fucking day. ]
Okay. Sorry for pulling you away from work. And for mouthing off at you.
[ he only half means that last part. what he means is sorry for being an asshole, but he phrases in a way that makes it sound more like he's aware that he's stepped out of the lines that are meant to mold him into an acceptable submissive. the same lines he's refused to bend himself to fit since the beginning. ]
[ derek leaves stiles on read, but - not maliciously. he just doesn't know what to say that wouldn't risk getting them both in trouble. apologizing to a sub is probably against the fucking rules. he locks his phone, slips it into his pocket, and walks back to work. stanley dutifully keeps to himself.
work passes agonizingly slowly, and despite promising to stay to finish his shift, derek asks to leave an hour early. stanley lets him go, promises to pay him for a full day, presumably out of guilt for interrupting derek when he was in a bad mood, which... is laughably pathetic, but also works out, so derek doesn't wave off the offer. he still doesn't have his own car, so he has to walk most of the way home, but he ends up at the den well right as sundown starts.
he unlocks the front door, heads inside, and the cat's there to greet him. she seems kind of anxious, or maybe just annoyed, and derek's kind of surprised to see her actually waiting for him. when he bends down and holds out his hand for her, she doesn't freeze up, but she doesn't come over, either. derek has to inch forward, set his hand against her cheek, and when he does, she just... deals with it. leans into him a little, maybe, but that might just be his imagination. she doesn't purr.
she walks away with a flick of her tail and seems to be in something of a better mood. derek stands, takes a breath, and heads further inside, finding stiles in the bedroom. derek's carrying something in his hands - a black plastic bag, full of things for tonight. he's not sure if blowing the money when they don't have a lot of savings is a good idea, but. he wasn't exactly loaded up with fucking bondage equipment just stashed in the gym. ]
[ the cat's avoided him all day, since he snapped at her. stiles has tried coaxing her closer with treats, he's tried talking into the empty den, apologizing to her as if she'd understand, he's tried putting more food out for her without derek around. he's brought out the laser pointer, and he's uselessly flicked her little plastic mouse across the living room floor.
she's spent most of the day hiding under furniture, or leaving whatever room she happens to be in, when stiles eventually finds her. he gives up, after about an hour or so, and just takes another shower instead. the water on the back of his neck feels nice, helps kind of ease some of the tension and anxiety he's been holding over lashing out at derek and scaring their cat, both for no reason other than his childish frustration.
stiles is reading, when derek comes home. he's seated in the middle of their bed, legs crossed and folded underneath him, and he's got one of rosalind's book in his lap, from her library that he and derek transplanted into their own home after she left. he hasn't really been able to focus, so he's had to go back and reread several passages several times to comprehend them before moving on. stiles hears the door unlock and he hears it slide open and he hears it slide closed, but he doesn't get up or call out to derek like he typically would.
he does look up when derek appears in the doorway though, the sound of his voice pulling his attention just as much as the soft rustle of the plastic bag hanging from his fingers. he only glances at it briefly, closing the book in his lap around his thumb. ]
... Hey.
[ stiles' brows pinch subtly - derek's home earlier than he expected. he'd had plans to make something for dinner, probably as an apology for snapping at him, but he'd also expected to have more time. stiles just looks at him for a moment, and decides not to say anything about it. he doesn't want to argue about money, or about - anything, really.
he bites at the inside of his cheek, his mouth twisting a little guiltily. ]
Cat's not talking to me anymore.
[ ignoring him. steering clear, whatever. it counts as not talking to him. ]
... I was mean to her, too. Now's your chance to convince her to let you be her favorite.
[ derek needs a little guidance, here. he's watching stiles and trying to figure out which kind of mood to bring into this conversation, the sort of steps he needs to take; he's a little worried that stiles is going to try to pick a fight, so he doesn't know if he needs to keep his guard up. he doesn't know if stiles is going to just-- ask to get this bondage thing over and done with or if he's going to ask derek to put it off until tomorrow. he doesn't know what to expect at all, and that unsettles him, because reading stiles is something he's supposed to be good at.
when stiles slips straight into guilt, derek... well, derek should have seen that coming. he mentions the cat, and derek looks over his shoulder to where she's springing up onto the couch in the living room behind them, tearing up the seat with her claws to get it comfortable. he looks back to stiles, heading further into the room, his hand a little sweaty around black plastic handles. ]
You smell bad, so.
[ he sets the bag down by the bed, then - hesitates, realizing that might have come across as an insult. he looks at stiles, wide-eyed, then softly shakes his head. ]
I mean - you smell anxious. She seemed worried, when I saw her. Like she knows something's wrong.
[ or that something's going to happen, at least. derek toes off his boots without bothering to unlace them, and he sits on the edge of the bed, looking at stiles with a sympathetic fondness. he doesn't hold any grudge about their conversation at the garage, and he hopes that stiles doesn't, either. ]
So... she's probably just scared. Not upset. She'll come good, when you do.
[ stiles showered twice today, so there's no reason he should smell bad. he scrubbed, he applied deodorant - he should be fine. his eyebrows draw together, and he almost lifts one of his arms up to take a cautious sniff before he realizes what it is derek means. it just makes him feel a little bit worse, but only briefly, because he's been trying to relax.
trying is the key word, though, because he knows he's not relaxed. he feels mostly okay, but he's been worried about the damn cat and whether he's ruined the trust he built with her, and he's been worried about derek being mad at him, whih would have been justified, and he's been worried about this stupid citation. his first one, and they hit him hard. no talking, and no moving - the two things he does best, the two things he doesn't really know how not to do. for six hours.
he'll be fine. he knows he'll be fine, but he still doesn't want to do it. he still doesn't want to submit.
stiles wants to admit to derek that she's scared because he purposely startled her by slapping his hand down onto the kitchen counter, but - it won't solve anything. it won't change the fact that she's been keeping her distance from him. he just feels a little sad about it, because that's not him. he's not cruel, especially not to those he cares about. he's just - stressed. about a lot of things, about money, about finding another job that isn't humiliating or degrading, about stupid shit he hasn't brought up with derek because it's just stupid shit. he still has to figure out his meds. he's close to running out.
derek sits, and stiles feels this weird urge to just crawl into his lap. he doesn't do it, but he does put his book aside and shift his legs a little, so they're folded a little more loosely. they way derek looks at him helps put him a little more at ease, and he breathes out, nodding quietly. if derek says she'll come around, then he trusts derek.
absently, he twists his ring. ]
I - didn't know cats could sense that sort of thing. The way you can, I mean.
[ he doesn't know a whole lot about cats, if he's honest. stiles glances down, tilting his chin toward the bag derek left beside the bed. ]
She loves you. 'Course she knows how you're feeling.
[ derek knows a fair bit about cats, too, but it's all instinct and familiarity over experience. he knows that she seems anxious, and he recognizes some of her behaviour in some of his own, which is... kind of stupid, but it's hard not to project, when derek is already so close to being an animal. they might have been at each other's throats for a while, but he's pretty sure the cat's started to respect derek as, like, stiles' second pet. of course she would want reassurance from him when their owner is so distraught.
stiles asks about the bag, and derek, uh... derek's not really sure how to do this with any kind of subtlety, so rather than ease stiles into this or help soften the blow, he just... toes the bag towards him, hooks his ankle through the handles and brings it up to the mattress. he snags it off his foot and sets it down between them, opening the bag and going through it. ]
This is just... things to help get this done. If you... want them.
[ he has a few different options of gags and restraints - ropes made of silk, ropes made of nylon, ball gags, bar gags, a gag shaped like a bone that squeaks like a dog toy which was-- supposed to just be a joke, but he hadn't factored in how fucking awkward he would feel laying all this shit out on the bed for stiles to choose from. now it just feels weird? he figures he'll just tear the harness off of that one and give it to the cat so she has something new to play with.
there are other things, too, still weighing the bottom of the box down. derek wets his lips, looks at stiles, then just - pushes the bag forward so he can look through it himself. inside he'll find... a pretty wide variety of sex toys, some kind of basic, some kind of wild. derek clears his throat, not really... sure... if this was a good idea. when is he ever, though. ]
I figured - I don't know. Could... try and make it... fun, rather than humiliating?
[ they could take, like, ownership of the moment? or something. derek's a little red, and he very much feels like this was a bad idea. and also a lot of money to spend for one night. ]
I can take anything back we don't use. Full refund. So.
[ derek can't possibly know how their cat feels about stiles, but the reassurance that she doesn't hat him does make him feel a little bit better, if he's honest. it's one less thing to stress himself out about, though he's still going to feel bad for as long as it's going to take for her to come around to him again. the way she's been avoiding him today just reminded him of her behavior and her demeanor around him when he'd only just started trying to feed her back in the down. it took forever to get her to trust him enough to let him get close.
stiles tries not to think about her now, though. derek says she'll come around, so she'll come around, and all stiles can do is be patient and wait and do what he can to show her he's sorry. he moves on, his attention snagged on the bag derek drags up to the bed and sets in the space between them. stiles rests his elbows on his knees and leans forward a little, curiosity getting the better of him.
admittedly, stiles hadn't really given much thought to how he - or they, rather, as it seems to be - were going to handle carrying out the terms of his citation. he hadn't considered whether or not they had the proper... materials. it's possible that they probably could have improvised, but for some reason, this just makes stiles feel... safer.
he looks up as derek sets to set stuff out, watching his boyfriend more than he's watching what he's pulling out of the bag. he tilts his head slightly, silently wondering - why? derek didn't have to do this. he didn't have to go out of his way to make sure stiles had the means to be comfortable, especially after stiles was a little bit of a jerk to him earlier. but that's what this is - derek's... looking after him.
it's not the first time that stiles has found himself thinking that he doesn't deserve derek. he looks back down at the restraints, eyes wandering from one to the next. silently, he reaches out and sets the silk ropes aside, not to use, but to discard. they're too close to what was used during lupanar, and while he enjoyed his time with derek, he still feels a little bit weird about - everything else. he moves onto the gags next, as derek continues rifling through the bag.
the bone gag makes him laugh. it's soft and under his breath, but his chest rumbles with a low, stuttered sound when he squeezes it and it squeaks back at him. he says nothing, but looks up and arches a high brow at derek. he sets this one side with the silk.
stiles hasn't chosen a gag yet by the time derek pushes the bag at him. stiles pulls it closer and leans over it, pushing the plastic down. he's... silent, lips slightly parted so he can wet them. it's... full of toys, and not the kind stiles might put on a nice shelf for display. there are things he recognizes, things he doesn't, things he's curious about. he looks up when derek starts to explain.
again, stiles wonders how he got so lucky. in all of his frustration, stiles never once stopped to consider that he could spin this around. it never crossed his mind that maybe he - they - could turn this into something rewarding rather than reprimanding. stiles' heart flutters a little, and he feels the bottom of his neck start to get a little warm just under the scoop of his collar. he stares at derek for a few very long seconds, and then looks down.
he's... bashful. he's grateful, actually, to have someone like derek as his partner. stiles laughs a little, rustling the bag on purpose. ]
I - don't make fun of me, okay - but I don't even know what half of this stuff is for. [ he looks up, and he's still anxious, but it doesn't feel so sour anymore. ] You're... really good to me. I'm sorry for asking you to cancel plans if you had any. That was - I was just mad, and I wanted to get this done and out of the way. If you had stuff you wanted to do, it's okay. You can still do it. I've got thirty days to get this done.
[ stiles pauses for a moment, biting at the inside corner of his lip. ]
... But if you don't - you should pick which one.
[ stiles lowers his gaze over the short line of gags derek laid out, just in case he doesn't understand what he means. ]
[ stiles paws through the contents of the bag, setting aside what he doesn't want. the silk ropes are gone, and that's... fine. derek brought them because they're softer, less likely to dig into stiles' skin or leave ropeburn if he was held in place for too long - six hours is a fucking trek - but they're easy enough to get out of, and something more sturdy might be more beneficial, given that stiles is a wriggly son of a bitch.
there are a few other options to play with, other than rope. handcuffs, if stiles wants to play the detective route. zipties. belts, specifically designed for this. it's all actually kind of intimidating, once derek's seeing it laid out in front of him - when he was at the store, he just kind of frantically grabbed whatever he could in case stiles had a preference, but now that they're here, he just feels like kind of a pervert. or, like. a hunter.
derek's got his head down, teetering on the edge of self-conscious. when stiles laughs, it snags his attention, and he looks up in time to see him say don't make fun of me. derek listens, eyebrows narrowing, and... a lot of that self-consciousness fades in one hard blow. stiles tells him to pick a gag, he apologizes for holding him up, and yes, great, that's all very well and good, but derek holds up his hand to stop him from talking. ]
Hold on.
[ hold on. hold on? hold the fuck on. derek grins, this slow spread of a smirk that starts at the corner of his lips and spreads inwards. hold on. ]
I don't believe you for a fucking second. You're telling me - you, Stiles Stilinski, are telling me - that you've never gone down a weird rabbit hole on wikipedia and learned way too much about the sex toy industry? You've never put off doing your math homework by looking up obscure sex toys worth sending to yourself as a "prank" on your birthday? I don't even know who I'm dating anymore.
[ but - okay, okay, maybe that counts as making fun of stiles, so he shakes his head with a playful roll of his eyes and lets this part of the conversation die. he's still smiling as he looks back at the bag, but - it's hard not to feel kind of nervous. this is a pretty new frontier for them. he's, uh. he's not sure he's ready. he's not sure if stiles is ready. he might just end up, like, tying him down and jerking him off, like the boring piece of shit he is. but.
the options are there. derek chews his bottom lip for a second, darting his eyes back up. he can't really figure out where he wants to look. ]
Anyway. C'mon. I'll always be around when you need me. You should know that by now. I'd drop all my plans for you.
[ not that he had any plans, but even if he did, stiles comes first. derek thumbs over the gags, each still in their individual packaging. there's something he sets his eyes on - it's just your run of the mill bar gag, but it's held together with a pretty blue ribbon, and stiles has always looked good in blue. derek fingers the plastic edge of the package, looking at stiles from the corner of his eye. ]
[ the moment derek starts to smirk, stiles knows what's coming. don't make fun of me apparently means tease the shit out of me, you handsome bastard. stiles rolls his eyes, he rolls his entire head before derek can even get started, but he's more amused than he is annoyed - actually, he isn't really annoyed at all. he lets derek poke his fun, idly picking up the nylon rope to pull it through his fingers to see if he likes how it feels. he doesn't, so he puts it aside with the silk.
stiles could defend himself, even though there's not much to defend. yes, he has fallen down a weird rabbit hole and spent a decent amount of time reading about all kinds of sex-related shit - but he's also a teenager, and there's only so much he can read and look at and try to imagine before he winds up with a rock-hard dick and very little impulse control. and it's kind of hard to read while jerking off, so obviously stiles has had to pause during his research. quite often.
anyway, that's not important. stiles lazily gives him the finger and then reaches with the same hand to touch another restraint, fingers prodding at the handcuffs. he seems to linger on these longer than the first two so far, contemplative, unsure. his dad's a cop, he's the sheriff - it's probably not a good idea to turn a part of his dad's job into something potentially sexual and kinky, but he's curious. he doesn't set them aside, but he does move on.
stiles glances up briefly, catches derek smiling as he looks at the black bag full of toys. his stomach swoops for a moment - so far, he and derek haven't really... explored anything involving toys, and stiles is more than okay with that. the sex he has with derek is incredible, every single time, and he's never wanted for more, never wanted anything else. the thought of trying something a little different, something new to them, makes him a little bit excited, but it also makes him really nervous.
derek distracts him easily, though, with stupid, sweet words. stiles doesn't ever want to be the kind of person who presents derek with an ultimatum, forces him to choose between himself and something else, but it makes him feel safe and protected to hear derek say that he'll always be there for stiles. he huffs a quiet, affectionate sort of laugh through his nose, wets his lips, nods like he understands.
quietly, stiles watches Derek's hands. he follows them as they touch each gag, anticipating building in him slowly. he wants to know what derek is thinking about each one, but he doesn't ask. stiles has never been properly gagged before, which is kind of objectively hilarious. the closest he's come was when the nogitsune was in possession of his body, and everyone was tired of him … talking shit, basically. they'd taped his mouth closed. this is different. this is kind of scary in a different way, but he trusts derek. he trusts him to get him through to the other side of six hours.
derek picks something with blue ribbon. stiles wonders if he does it on purpose - he likes blue, it's his favorite color - or if it's just the one that seems the most comfortable and the least intimidating. absently, he flexes his jaw and touches his tongue to the roof of his mouth, imagining what it'll feel like in his mouth.
he looks up, finds derek looking at him almost kind of hesitantly. stiles smiles faintly and nods. ]
Yeah. Yeah, okay. I like... the blue.
[ the blue, which has no impact on whether or not the gag will be comfortable, but that's apparently his strongest opinion about it right now. he likes that it's blue.
glancing down, stiles reaches a hesitant hand toward the discard pile he started. he nudges the bone gag aside, then curls his fingers around the silk restraints. ]
I, um. I'm... not sure if I want this? These. But I think everything else is just going to rub or bite too much.
[ because he's annoying and fidgety and he's bound to be the same while tied down, and while a little rope burn would probably be fine, stiles isn't interested in having to make excuses for any suspicious and/or obvious marks, if someone were to see them and ask, afterwards. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
if he's honest, he's not all that worried about having to shut up and sit still. he can manage it if he has to, but what bothers him is that he shouldn't have to. to police and punish people for their opposing opinions, especially those that bring no harm to others - it's insane. it's authoritarian.
stiles drags a hand down over his face, down his throat, hooks his fingers into his collar and twists them around in his frustration, unintentionally stretching the material out a little. he sighs, shaking his head, mostly to himself. ]
Don't.
I still haven't found another job yet.
And we still have to pay rent.
Finish your shift.
It's not like I'm going anywhere.
[ stiles still has most of the money from the carnival left over, but he can only make that stretch so far before he's going to have to start chipping into his savings - which, admittedly, is not that much anymore - if he doesn't find another job soon. ]
no subject
[ derek... kind of wants to argue. it's his job - not as an alpha, not as a dom, but just by virtue of being derek - to provide for people he loves. the rent should fall to him. everything should fall to him. he knows that's unrealistic, but if he tried to pick up double shifts and work on getting that promotion he's been after, he could do it. feels like an easy argument to make.
but it's not like i'm going anywhere sounds kind of... well, it sounds like stiles is frustrated. not only with the citation, the undue punishment, but. maybe with being stuck in the house all day with nothing but a cat and his crimeboard. stiles has always been someone who needs something to do, and derek's not willing to clip his wings just for the sake of his own pride. ]
You could always work here. If you wanted to.
We'd get to see each other every day.
I... guess we already do that, but. We'd get to see each other more.
[ that's the idyllic answer. he's pretty sure that despite how fond of stiles his boss has been, if another sub was hired on here when traffic's so sparse, they'd be made to do all the worst jobs. janitorial work in a garage doesn't sound great. derek steps away from the wall he's been leaning against, dodging the urge to be pessimistic. last thing stiles needs is for derek to dwell in his bad mood. ]
Or - I can help you look for something that suits you. Something better.
Maybe there's a lacrosse league.
no subject
the cat hops up onto a stool on the opposite side of the kitchen island, then hops up onto the counter. stiles glances up from his phone, his jaw tight, and instead of shooing her down because she's not supposed to be up there, he just slaps his hand down on the countertop, making a loud noise. it startles her, and she scurries, and stiles doesn't feel bad about it yet, but he will.
grinding his teeth lightly, stiles turns around - and he sits, right there on the kitchen floor, back leaned against the cabinets, knees pulled up, the backs of his wrists resting against them. he's got his phone in his hands, shoulders rounded. ]
Work there and do what?
Sweep the floors after everyone's gone home?
Clean out all the drip pans?
Even if I didn't have to do a shitty job, what makes you think I qualify to work in a garage?
What, are they going to call up the CEO of Duct Tape for a reference?
[ stiles knows his way around under the hood of a car just fine, he's just - being an asshole, mostly unintentionally. he's mad, and frustrated and annoyed, and he's taking it out on someone who doesn't deserve it. shame it'll take him a little bit longer to realize it. ]
You know how shitty that would be?
We'd see each other more, but I'd have to act like your obedient little pet in front of everyone.
Especially now, if I'm suddenly on a radar for citations.
Yeah. Thanks but no thanks.
Nobody's going to pay me to play lacrosse.
And they sure as shit aren't going to let a submissive coach an entire team.
Not that I'd even want to
But you know what?
This place is great
Nothing but good things to say about Duplicity.
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ultimately, he's been doing good. keeping his calm, using stiles as his anchor. now, though? stiles is snapping, and logically, derek knows that it's not his fault, but it feels like it is. his shoulders tense and the garage suddenly feels very fucking claustrophobic, so he rolls up the door and heads outside, face set in stone. his boss asks if there's trouble in paradise, to which derek replies fuck off, stanley.
i don't get why you're being like this, he almost writes. i'm the only person in this fucking city that'll help you.
it's fear, more than empathy, that keeps his mouth shut. stiles is charging head first into another six hour reprobation, and derek needs to cut him off at the heels before he says something worse. ]
You're right.
[ he walks until he's at the edge of the lot. even the fucking chain link fence surrounding the gravel that leads up to the main office building is all chrome and silver and polished. the up is a joke. derek hasn't been to the down in a while, but he's never forgotten how stark the difference between both levels are. ]
You're my sub. It's my job as your dom to find you a position with dignity.
Keep your head down. I'll look around. We can talk about options tonight, after your punishment.
[ he very purposefully says punishment instead of citation - it's the kind of word a dom would use, and he's hoping it's a noticeable enough difference for stiles to realize he's being told to shut the fuck up. ]
Look - if I'm not coming home, I need to get back to work.
I'll see you in a few hours, okay?
Try to keep your spirits up.
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he was a dick to the cat, too. stiles swallows and twists a little to see if he can see where she is, but he can't. he swallows again, sinks back against the cabinets, and puts his thumb nail in his mouth, breathing out slowly.
he's gotta find something to do. maybe another shower or - a nap, if he can manage to fall asleep now that he's fully awake. maybe a walk around the woods, some fresh air, some exercise before he has to be strapped down for a quarter of a fucking day. ]
Okay.
Sorry for pulling you away from work.
And for mouthing off at you.
[ he only half means that last part. what he means is sorry for being an asshole, but he phrases in a way that makes it sound more like he's aware that he's stepped out of the lines that are meant to mold him into an acceptable submissive. the same lines he's refused to bend himself to fit since the beginning. ]
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work passes agonizingly slowly, and despite promising to stay to finish his shift, derek asks to leave an hour early. stanley lets him go, promises to pay him for a full day, presumably out of guilt for interrupting derek when he was in a bad mood, which... is laughably pathetic, but also works out, so derek doesn't wave off the offer. he still doesn't have his own car, so he has to walk most of the way home, but he ends up at the den well right as sundown starts.
he unlocks the front door, heads inside, and the cat's there to greet him. she seems kind of anxious, or maybe just annoyed, and derek's kind of surprised to see her actually waiting for him. when he bends down and holds out his hand for her, she doesn't freeze up, but she doesn't come over, either. derek has to inch forward, set his hand against her cheek, and when he does, she just... deals with it. leans into him a little, maybe, but that might just be his imagination. she doesn't purr.
she walks away with a flick of her tail and seems to be in something of a better mood. derek stands, takes a breath, and heads further inside, finding stiles in the bedroom. derek's carrying something in his hands - a black plastic bag, full of things for tonight. he's not sure if blowing the money when they don't have a lot of savings is a good idea, but. he wasn't exactly loaded up with fucking bondage equipment just stashed in the gym. ]
Hey.
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she's spent most of the day hiding under furniture, or leaving whatever room she happens to be in, when stiles eventually finds her. he gives up, after about an hour or so, and just takes another shower instead. the water on the back of his neck feels nice, helps kind of ease some of the tension and anxiety he's been holding over lashing out at derek and scaring their cat, both for no reason other than his childish frustration.
stiles is reading, when derek comes home. he's seated in the middle of their bed, legs crossed and folded underneath him, and he's got one of rosalind's book in his lap, from her library that he and derek transplanted into their own home after she left. he hasn't really been able to focus, so he's had to go back and reread several passages several times to comprehend them before moving on. stiles hears the door unlock and he hears it slide open and he hears it slide closed, but he doesn't get up or call out to derek like he typically would.
he does look up when derek appears in the doorway though, the sound of his voice pulling his attention just as much as the soft rustle of the plastic bag hanging from his fingers. he only glances at it briefly, closing the book in his lap around his thumb. ]
... Hey.
[ stiles' brows pinch subtly - derek's home earlier than he expected. he'd had plans to make something for dinner, probably as an apology for snapping at him, but he'd also expected to have more time. stiles just looks at him for a moment, and decides not to say anything about it. he doesn't want to argue about money, or about - anything, really.
he bites at the inside of his cheek, his mouth twisting a little guiltily. ]
Cat's not talking to me anymore.
[ ignoring him. steering clear, whatever. it counts as not talking to him. ]
... I was mean to her, too. Now's your chance to convince her to let you be her favorite.
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when stiles slips straight into guilt, derek... well, derek should have seen that coming. he mentions the cat, and derek looks over his shoulder to where she's springing up onto the couch in the living room behind them, tearing up the seat with her claws to get it comfortable. he looks back to stiles, heading further into the room, his hand a little sweaty around black plastic handles. ]
You smell bad, so.
[ he sets the bag down by the bed, then - hesitates, realizing that might have come across as an insult. he looks at stiles, wide-eyed, then softly shakes his head. ]
I mean - you smell anxious. She seemed worried, when I saw her. Like she knows something's wrong.
[ or that something's going to happen, at least. derek toes off his boots without bothering to unlace them, and he sits on the edge of the bed, looking at stiles with a sympathetic fondness. he doesn't hold any grudge about their conversation at the garage, and he hopes that stiles doesn't, either. ]
So... she's probably just scared. Not upset. She'll come good, when you do.
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trying is the key word, though, because he knows he's not relaxed. he feels mostly okay, but he's been worried about the damn cat and whether he's ruined the trust he built with her, and he's been worried about derek being mad at him, whih would have been justified, and he's been worried about this stupid citation. his first one, and they hit him hard. no talking, and no moving - the two things he does best, the two things he doesn't really know how not to do. for six hours.
he'll be fine. he knows he'll be fine, but he still doesn't want to do it. he still doesn't want to submit.
stiles wants to admit to derek that she's scared because he purposely startled her by slapping his hand down onto the kitchen counter, but - it won't solve anything. it won't change the fact that she's been keeping her distance from him. he just feels a little sad about it, because that's not him. he's not cruel, especially not to those he cares about. he's just - stressed. about a lot of things, about money, about finding another job that isn't humiliating or degrading, about stupid shit he hasn't brought up with derek because it's just stupid shit. he still has to figure out his meds. he's close to running out.
derek sits, and stiles feels this weird urge to just crawl into his lap. he doesn't do it, but he does put his book aside and shift his legs a little, so they're folded a little more loosely. they way derek looks at him helps put him a little more at ease, and he breathes out, nodding quietly. if derek says she'll come around, then he trusts derek.
absently, he twists his ring. ]
I - didn't know cats could sense that sort of thing. The way you can, I mean.
[ he doesn't know a whole lot about cats, if he's honest. stiles glances down, tilting his chin toward the bag derek left beside the bed. ]
What's that?
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[ derek knows a fair bit about cats, too, but it's all instinct and familiarity over experience. he knows that she seems anxious, and he recognizes some of her behaviour in some of his own, which is... kind of stupid, but it's hard not to project, when derek is already so close to being an animal. they might have been at each other's throats for a while, but he's pretty sure the cat's started to respect derek as, like, stiles' second pet. of course she would want reassurance from him when their owner is so distraught.
stiles asks about the bag, and derek, uh... derek's not really sure how to do this with any kind of subtlety, so rather than ease stiles into this or help soften the blow, he just... toes the bag towards him, hooks his ankle through the handles and brings it up to the mattress. he snags it off his foot and sets it down between them, opening the bag and going through it. ]
This is just... things to help get this done. If you... want them.
[ he has a few different options of gags and restraints - ropes made of silk, ropes made of nylon, ball gags, bar gags, a gag shaped like a bone that squeaks like a dog toy which was-- supposed to just be a joke, but he hadn't factored in how fucking awkward he would feel laying all this shit out on the bed for stiles to choose from. now it just feels weird? he figures he'll just tear the harness off of that one and give it to the cat so she has something new to play with.
there are other things, too, still weighing the bottom of the box down. derek wets his lips, looks at stiles, then just - pushes the bag forward so he can look through it himself. inside he'll find... a pretty wide variety of sex toys, some kind of basic, some kind of wild. derek clears his throat, not really... sure... if this was a good idea. when is he ever, though. ]
I figured - I don't know. Could... try and make it... fun, rather than humiliating?
[ they could take, like, ownership of the moment? or something. derek's a little red, and he very much feels like this was a bad idea. and also a lot of money to spend for one night. ]
I can take anything back we don't use. Full refund. So.
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stiles tries not to think about her now, though. derek says she'll come around, so she'll come around, and all stiles can do is be patient and wait and do what he can to show her he's sorry. he moves on, his attention snagged on the bag derek drags up to the bed and sets in the space between them. stiles rests his elbows on his knees and leans forward a little, curiosity getting the better of him.
admittedly, stiles hadn't really given much thought to how he - or they, rather, as it seems to be - were going to handle carrying out the terms of his citation. he hadn't considered whether or not they had the proper... materials. it's possible that they probably could have improvised, but for some reason, this just makes stiles feel... safer.
he looks up as derek sets to set stuff out, watching his boyfriend more than he's watching what he's pulling out of the bag. he tilts his head slightly, silently wondering - why? derek didn't have to do this. he didn't have to go out of his way to make sure stiles had the means to be comfortable, especially after stiles was a little bit of a jerk to him earlier. but that's what this is - derek's... looking after him.
it's not the first time that stiles has found himself thinking that he doesn't deserve derek. he looks back down at the restraints, eyes wandering from one to the next. silently, he reaches out and sets the silk ropes aside, not to use, but to discard. they're too close to what was used during lupanar, and while he enjoyed his time with derek, he still feels a little bit weird about - everything else. he moves onto the gags next, as derek continues rifling through the bag.
the bone gag makes him laugh. it's soft and under his breath, but his chest rumbles with a low, stuttered sound when he squeezes it and it squeaks back at him. he says nothing, but looks up and arches a high brow at derek. he sets this one side with the silk.
stiles hasn't chosen a gag yet by the time derek pushes the bag at him. stiles pulls it closer and leans over it, pushing the plastic down. he's... silent, lips slightly parted so he can wet them. it's... full of toys, and not the kind stiles might put on a nice shelf for display. there are things he recognizes, things he doesn't, things he's curious about. he looks up when derek starts to explain.
again, stiles wonders how he got so lucky. in all of his frustration, stiles never once stopped to consider that he could spin this around. it never crossed his mind that maybe he - they - could turn this into something rewarding rather than reprimanding. stiles' heart flutters a little, and he feels the bottom of his neck start to get a little warm just under the scoop of his collar. he stares at derek for a few very long seconds, and then looks down.
he's... bashful. he's grateful, actually, to have someone like derek as his partner. stiles laughs a little, rustling the bag on purpose. ]
I - don't make fun of me, okay - but I don't even know what half of this stuff is for. [ he looks up, and he's still anxious, but it doesn't feel so sour anymore. ] You're... really good to me. I'm sorry for asking you to cancel plans if you had any. That was - I was just mad, and I wanted to get this done and out of the way. If you had stuff you wanted to do, it's okay. You can still do it. I've got thirty days to get this done.
[ stiles pauses for a moment, biting at the inside corner of his lip. ]
... But if you don't - you should pick which one.
[ stiles lowers his gaze over the short line of gags derek laid out, just in case he doesn't understand what he means. ]
no subject
there are a few other options to play with, other than rope. handcuffs, if stiles wants to play the detective route. zipties. belts, specifically designed for this. it's all actually kind of intimidating, once derek's seeing it laid out in front of him - when he was at the store, he just kind of frantically grabbed whatever he could in case stiles had a preference, but now that they're here, he just feels like kind of a pervert. or, like. a hunter.
derek's got his head down, teetering on the edge of self-conscious. when stiles laughs, it snags his attention, and he looks up in time to see him say don't make fun of me. derek listens, eyebrows narrowing, and... a lot of that self-consciousness fades in one hard blow. stiles tells him to pick a gag, he apologizes for holding him up, and yes, great, that's all very well and good, but derek holds up his hand to stop him from talking. ]
Hold on.
[ hold on. hold on? hold the fuck on. derek grins, this slow spread of a smirk that starts at the corner of his lips and spreads inwards. hold on. ]
I don't believe you for a fucking second. You're telling me - you, Stiles Stilinski, are telling me - that you've never gone down a weird rabbit hole on wikipedia and learned way too much about the sex toy industry? You've never put off doing your math homework by looking up obscure sex toys worth sending to yourself as a "prank" on your birthday? I don't even know who I'm dating anymore.
[ but - okay, okay, maybe that counts as making fun of stiles, so he shakes his head with a playful roll of his eyes and lets this part of the conversation die. he's still smiling as he looks back at the bag, but - it's hard not to feel kind of nervous. this is a pretty new frontier for them. he's, uh. he's not sure he's ready. he's not sure if stiles is ready. he might just end up, like, tying him down and jerking him off, like the boring piece of shit he is. but.
the options are there. derek chews his bottom lip for a second, darting his eyes back up. he can't really figure out where he wants to look. ]
Anyway. C'mon. I'll always be around when you need me. You should know that by now. I'd drop all my plans for you.
[ not that he had any plans, but even if he did, stiles comes first. derek thumbs over the gags, each still in their individual packaging. there's something he sets his eyes on - it's just your run of the mill bar gag, but it's held together with a pretty blue ribbon, and stiles has always looked good in blue. derek fingers the plastic edge of the package, looking at stiles from the corner of his eye. ]
This?
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stiles could defend himself, even though there's not much to defend. yes, he has fallen down a weird rabbit hole and spent a decent amount of time reading about all kinds of sex-related shit - but he's also a teenager, and there's only so much he can read and look at and try to imagine before he winds up with a rock-hard dick and very little impulse control. and it's kind of hard to read while jerking off, so obviously stiles has had to pause during his research. quite often.
anyway, that's not important. stiles lazily gives him the finger and then reaches with the same hand to touch another restraint, fingers prodding at the handcuffs. he seems to linger on these longer than the first two so far, contemplative, unsure. his dad's a cop, he's the sheriff - it's probably not a good idea to turn a part of his dad's job into something potentially sexual and kinky, but he's curious. he doesn't set them aside, but he does move on.
stiles glances up briefly, catches derek smiling as he looks at the black bag full of toys. his stomach swoops for a moment - so far, he and derek haven't really... explored anything involving toys, and stiles is more than okay with that. the sex he has with derek is incredible, every single time, and he's never wanted for more, never wanted anything else. the thought of trying something a little different, something new to them, makes him a little bit excited, but it also makes him really nervous.
derek distracts him easily, though, with stupid, sweet words. stiles doesn't ever want to be the kind of person who presents derek with an ultimatum, forces him to choose between himself and something else, but it makes him feel safe and protected to hear derek say that he'll always be there for stiles. he huffs a quiet, affectionate sort of laugh through his nose, wets his lips, nods like he understands.
quietly, stiles watches Derek's hands. he follows them as they touch each gag, anticipating building in him slowly. he wants to know what derek is thinking about each one, but he doesn't ask. stiles has never been properly gagged before, which is kind of objectively hilarious. the closest he's come was when the nogitsune was in possession of his body, and everyone was tired of him … talking shit, basically. they'd taped his mouth closed. this is different. this is kind of scary in a different way, but he trusts derek. he trusts him to get him through to the other side of six hours.
derek picks something with blue ribbon. stiles wonders if he does it on purpose - he likes blue, it's his favorite color - or if it's just the one that seems the most comfortable and the least intimidating. absently, he flexes his jaw and touches his tongue to the roof of his mouth, imagining what it'll feel like in his mouth.
he looks up, finds derek looking at him almost kind of hesitantly. stiles smiles faintly and nods. ]
Yeah. Yeah, okay. I like... the blue.
[ the blue, which has no impact on whether or not the gag will be comfortable, but that's apparently his strongest opinion about it right now. he likes that it's blue.
glancing down, stiles reaches a hesitant hand toward the discard pile he started. he nudges the bone gag aside, then curls his fingers around the silk restraints. ]
I, um. I'm... not sure if I want this? These. But I think everything else is just going to rub or bite too much.
[ because he's annoying and fidgety and he's bound to be the same while tied down, and while a little rope burn would probably be fine, stiles isn't interested in having to make excuses for any suspicious and/or obvious marks, if someone were to see them and ask, afterwards. ]