i'm trying to be understanding since he knows im into him and i know he's into me. sort of. whatever it is if we're drunk or something it's not usually an issue but i guess that is the issue
[He says, pretending to be responsible in acknowledging it.]
Mm. I guess all you can do is be patient and hope he figures things out. And... be aware of the fact that there's a chance he won't, or - that he'll figure out he's straight. This isn't exactly the most conducive environment for self-discovery. This could go either way. No matter how much you might like one another.
[ dot dot dot. ]
Sounds like things have progressed pretty fast. So. Might help to slow things down either way.
Yeah. Can't force him to know what his sexuality is. Can't force yourself to be okay with how he treats you. Space and patience feels like the only thing you can do. Unless, I mean, you just want to keep getting him drunk so you can fuck.
i can't tell if this place has been good or bad for me and how i process shit. i've done a lot of things in the last 2 years things i wouldn't have probably done back home, that i'd never done alive and i'm just used to a lot of other things too
one one hand i like it. getting to do things i thought about getting to be with people i'm attracted to without
[Judgment. Constance's judgment.]
but idk am i just jaded too? doing whatever i need to is it the same
[ not necessarily, actually, but - tate's problems are just that he likes a guy who's struggling with his feelings on whether or not he likes him back. derek doesn't need to spiral into a huge fucking argument about how there's more to life than feeling good. a dip in tate's self-confidence isn't worth derek criticizing his entire world view.
anyway - ]
Just try to keep your chin up. Try to be happy. Worst case scenario - even if this shit with Marcus doesn't work out - it sounds like you've made a pretty good friend. Nothing wrong with that.
[ he probably will, eventually, if only because he likes tate knowing good people, and billy, so far, has proven to be good people. he's kind of nervous about billy's apparent ease when it comes to drugs, just because that's not the energy he wants tate to be around, but - you know. that ship has sailed. ]
You'll bounce back. Just try to stay with people who make you feel better. Me. Marcus. Harley.
[ wow, this sounds like a very bad idea. they were just talking about how he and tate need to give each other some time to figure themselves out, polish their individuality - derek isn't sure what to do here, especially because he doesn't even know marcus. ultimately he decides to just... keep his mouth shut, maybe gossip about this with tate later. he's tate's supporter, first and foremost, so. ]
[ he knows how fucked up tate got after losing violet - if anything, he's just happy tate has that kind of validation again. derek doesn't want to express whatever concerns he has - he just wants to be on tate's side. ]
I'm really happy for you. You deserve to have someone see the best in you. I'm glad you're special to him. And I'm glad he's special to you. With the shitshow we went through in the down, it's good there was something positive to come of it all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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i'm trying to be understanding since he knows im into him
and i know he's into me. sort of. whatever it is
if we're drunk or something it's not usually an issue
but i guess that is the issue
[He says, pretending to be responsible in acknowledging it.]
i still like him though.
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I guess all you can do is be patient and hope he figures things out. And... be aware of the fact that there's a chance he won't, or - that he'll figure out he's straight.
This isn't exactly the most conducive environment for self-discovery. This could go either way. No matter how much you might like one another.
[ dot dot dot. ]
Sounds like things have progressed pretty fast. So.
Might help to slow things down either way.
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i guess.
that's what you'd do then? some space
i'll think about it.
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Can't force him to know what his sexuality is. Can't force yourself to be okay with how he treats you.
Space and patience feels like the only thing you can do.
Unless, I mean, you just want to keep getting him drunk so you can fuck.
[ that is a joke. do not do that. ]
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i can't tell if this place has been good or bad for me
and how i process shit. i've done a lot of things in the last 2 years
things i wouldn't have probably done back home, that i'd never done alive
and i'm just used to a lot of other things too
one one hand i like it. getting to do things i thought about
getting to be with people i'm attracted to without
[Judgment. Constance's judgment.]
but idk
am i just jaded too?
doing whatever i need to
is it the same
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It's been good for me, though. Being here. In spite of everything.
I can only hope it's been good for you, too.
[ ... ]
I think you're happier than you used to be.
That has to account for something.
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things are okay right now at least
i don't feel bad. so that's good, right?
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[ not necessarily, actually, but - tate's problems are just that he likes a guy who's struggling with his feelings on whether or not he likes him back. derek doesn't need to spiral into a huge fucking argument about how there's more to life than feeling good. a dip in tate's self-confidence isn't worth derek criticizing his entire world view.
anyway - ]
Just try to keep your chin up. Try to be happy.
Worst case scenario - even if this shit with Marcus doesn't work out - it sounds like you've made a pretty good friend.
Nothing wrong with that.
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i'm really trying
to do good and be good.
i wanna just make u proud
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Come on. You're worrying too much. Getting in your head.
You should get some rest. Try to think about something else, at least.
(1/2)
[But okay, okay.]
night.
(2/2) l o n g time l a t e r
fucking cant believe its over
n thats just it
nothing
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I have a friend who lives in the dorms, still.
Kind of worries me. I always want to go down and see him.
Why?
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[ does that help ]
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billy?
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Haven't known him for very long. Messaged me on accident when the network was all fucked up.
He's a good kid. Funny. You'd like him.
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[friendly, not friendly, who knows.]
but yeah idk
i just wanted to check in.
i still feel tired and it's been a few days since i got back
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[ he probably will, eventually, if only because he likes tate knowing good people, and billy, so far, has proven to be good people. he's kind of nervous about billy's apparent ease when it comes to drugs, just because that's not the energy he wants tate to be around, but - you know. that ship has sailed. ]
You'll bounce back.
Just try to stay with people who make you feel better.
Me. Marcus. Harley.
[ stiles? probably not stiles. ]
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the space thing
kinda did a 180
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[ space? wait - ]
With Marcus?
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idk if its dating or whatever
but it's something.
we're something.
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That's great.
Right?
Are you happy?
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he said he missed me during the whole down thing
he said he had to figure stuff out but that he liked me
special kind of like
nobody's said that to me in
so long.
like i know you like me. love me. we're you know
family. and more
but this is like.
different?
like u and stiles are different
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[ he knows how fucked up tate got after losing violet - if anything, he's just happy tate has that kind of validation again. derek doesn't want to express whatever concerns he has - he just wants to be on tate's side. ]
I'm really happy for you.
You deserve to have someone see the best in you.
I'm glad you're special to him. And I'm glad he's special to you.
With the shitshow we went through in the down, it's good there was something positive to come of it all.
So, uh.
What comes next for you?
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