[Tate finally breaks his gaze away from a blissful adoring stare into the red headlights that Derek is blinding him with, and drops it to the sand in front of him. He can hear a voice in the back of his head admitting something was intense before and it's enough to pull him out of his reverie. Albeit at the same time it only convinces him more than he needs someone else to rely on, someone else's intensity to buy into.
Full moon. He's going to have to look into when the next one will be.]
[ The red in Derek's eyes just - extinguishes, before too long. He watches Tate even after Tate looks away, and when he's sure they're done with eye contact, he blinks them back to hazel. The question is - difficult, but it's not one he's unwilling to answer. ]
Four times. Stiles is - two years ahead of me, back home, and he told me the number's gonna go up.
[ Up to six, if he includes both Victoria and Gerard. Derek's a little nervous about sharing this information with Tate, whose possessiveness and unwillingness to share have become pretty notable traits of his, and saying he has betas waiting for him back home might - damage what they have here. Derek slowly shrugs. Not going to lie. ]
Three of the bites worked the way they were supposed to.
[It was going to get asked, especially since Derek opened the floor by bringing it up. He's not sure how he feels about the notion of Derek having already bitten people before, and what that means. He's not the first. Won't be the last. He's a middle piece in a bigger puzzle but he has to mean something, even still. He's the first one here. Maybe the only one, too, if things work out.]
[ Derek knew this was coming, but the question is still difficult to answer. Even if he'd had more preparation to explain what happened to Jackson, he probably wouldn't be able to come up with the right words to do it. Stiles used the word abomination, and it meant a lot to him at the time, but after knowing everything that Jackson's been through, calling him that now feels... cruel. ]
It's - hard to explain. Sometimes a person just... isn't made for a life like this.
[ He - hesitates, and he's not trying to give a half-assed answer here, he just really needs some time to think everything through. Derek slowly takes a stab in the dark. ]
When the bite works - you become a wolf. When it doesn't - your body either dies trying to reject the bite, or the shift turns into something else. Something corrupted. Dark.
[ Something reflective of who you are as a person. Someone bad. Tate isn't bad. Derek knows Tate isn't bad. ]
[Tate takes pause at the notion of 'something corrupted' and thinks about how many times he and Violet discussed the notion of darkness. How it had a part of them enveloped in it for so long. How she now believes that he is that darkness. How can Derek so safely say that he's not that? That that won't happen to him? He looks hesitant for a beat, but his expression softens.]
Are you sure? I don't... I don't want to become something bad. I just want to be like you.
[ He's willing to bet on it, at least. If he's come this far - far enough to offer Tate the bite, far enough to trust him against his better judgement, far enough to beat himself up for ever thinking this poor, abused kid was a danger to anyone but himself, even after what he did to his stepfather -
Then Tate has to be a good person. He won't allow himself to be wrong about this. Not when he's so close to having a pack. Not when he's so close to helping someone. Saving them, in a way that he couldn't do for Erica and Boyd, back in Stiles' history. Back in his future.
Derek takes a breath. He looks at Tate, eyes dropping to his hip, the section of flesh he'd sink his teeth into the second they choose to commit to this. He swallows, then looks up, holding eye contact. ]
You need - to think about this. I'm not going to force you to sign a contract with me, or-- or do anything you don't want to do, but once I give you the bite, things are going to change between us. There'll be - a pull, like I said. You'll find it difficult to be away from me, unless you find a different Alpha, and... there aren't any other Alphas around. You'll be mine.
[ Unless Tate chooses to be an Omega, but - nobody would choose that. Not willingly. Tate would be his, through and through. Derek clenches his jaw a little. ]
Your body's going to change. You've seen my eyes - my claws. Wolves are predators. Dangerous. You told me, once, that you didn't want to be dangerous, but if you're ever bitten - that's something you'll have to deal with. People will be scared of you. Animals will be scared of you. We're thought of as - monsters. If that's not worth the safety I can provide you, then I can't force you into this in good conscience.
[ A pause. Derek leans back. ]
Full moon's on the 19th. I'll give you until then to decide.
[Tate chews on his lower lip, peeling bits of skin off with his teeth as his gaze shifts around through the states of processing all this information. He wants that pull, that hook, that value. But he's - hesitant, maybe, because there seems to be a lot at stake too. Would he be giving Violet more reason to fear him now? That's something he'll have to consider. He weakly wonders if she'd ever take the bite too, and be part of the pack.
Never. Why would she?
He nods his head, looking down at the sand as he draws his fingers through it to rake out lines. They absently start spiraling in on themselves, and he doesn't notice what he's drawing - the triskele is just a byproduct of a distracted mind.]
I don't think of you as a monster. Or dangerous. You're...
[He looks guilty, glancing up. Like - it's silly to say:]
[ Humans don't say things like that to Derek. There's Stiles, obviously - but he's an exception, he's always been an exception. This stabilising force Derek clings to. His anchor. There was... Paige, and there was Kate, but Paige is gone and Kate was a liar.
Tate throws him, a little. He's been kind like this before, but Derek's been dodging bringing up what Tate said - his fear of being dangerous, his desire to be normal. It felt like a rejection, a dealbreaker, waiting just beneath the surface of all of this, and for Tate to just so quickly dismiss Derek's worries and see him as someone better than just teeth and tearing and blood, it's -
A lot. ]
That's... what I want to be.
[ Safety. Derek swallows. ]
If you... if you do decide to take the bite...
[ Derek doesn't want to push this. Doesn't want to make Tate feel cornered or emotionally manipulated into taking the bite, even though the scales are swinging so clearly in that direction already. He looks at the guilt in him, the self-consciousness, and he just wants to take that away. To protect him, the way an Alpha should. ]
If you take the bite - you'll be my only beta here. I'll - give you everything I can give you. Attention, love, safety. Strength. Taking care of you will be one of my absolute, highest priorities. Anything you want, anything you need - all you'll have to do is ask for it, and I'll give it to you.
[ Tate matters to him. He'll only matter more, if this happens. Derek takes another long, long breath, and he pushes his attempt at being honest a little further. ]
I wasn't a good Alpha, back home. I want to be better here.
[ For Tate. For himself. For Stiles, if only to make him proud. For Erica, for Boyd, for Isaac. For Jackson. Laura. Scott. Fuck, even for Peter. So many things ride on.doing better. He wants to do so much better. ]
[It's funny how you can almost compare the Dominant and Submissive relation directly to Derek in this instant, and wonder how he could ever find issue with this city if that's all he wants to be - the Alpha to a Beta. Tate doesn't realize it now but it may come to him later that there's a strange difference when it comes to his feelings toward fitting in as Submissive and the want to be a Beta. If he felt this desired, would he be a better sub? Would he embrace this world a bit better if he could understand that the way he wants this?
Maybe it's the same. Maybe he just needs to find the same in those means, too.
He just nods his head and listens to that, cupped fingers dragging a line of sand over the drawings he'd left indented, folding it all back over itself to once again lay flat. He wants to ask why Derek wasn't a good Alpha but it doesn't feel like the moment. He might get an honest answer but - honestly, he's asked enough. He also feels... tired.]
I'll think on it - I want to... to think it through. And not be rash, even if I think I already know what I want. Whatever I pick though, you'll still... we can still be close, right?
[ They've - reached the end of this, Derek can tell. He runs his tongue over the dry, cracked flesh of his bottom lip, looking down and watching Tate's spirals disappear. It feels like a closed door, and that's - fine. Erica and Isaac and Boyd were desperate for the bite, they jumped on the offer. Tate isn't desperate. Derek's known this might not be for him.
He's just - being pushy.
Tate asks for time, asks if they can still be close, and Derek nods, slow and stilted. ]
Yeah.
[ And he doesn't say it, but it's there in his tone - just not as close as we could be. ]
[Tate looks - saddened, like he can tell he's not as important to Derek if he's not willing to be bitten. Which he is, immensely so, but he's a boy whose poet souls still wishes to mean something of its own merit. He swallows hard and looks down at the sand, thinking quietly to himself what it would mean to just - say yes, here and now. He has time, he needs to take that time. To pretend he's rational and sane.]
Okay. I'll - I'll tell you when I know.
["I already know."]
This is where - where you gotta tell me any freaky shit, though. Like how bad's the flea deal.
[ Derek nods, leaning back in the sand again, staring up at the sky. Lots of ways this conversation could have gone. He's not sure if this was the best outcome for either of them, but - there's a shift here, now. A new shape to their relationship. ]
No fleas. Just, you know. Insatiable arousal on the full moon. Slightly more carnivorous appetite. Giant, shapeshifting dick.
[ At least one of those things is true. Derek hits Tate with a neutral, lazy stare, the kind of expression that makes it difficult to tell how serious he is, but. It doesn't last. There's something else on his mind - something small enough to nag at him, guilting him for lying by omission. Something he feels he needs to bring up.
This is a huge, huge offer, and not providing full disclosure is - manipulative, in the end. Derek doesn't want to... do this, but he can't keep trying to weakly convince himself he's a good person if he doesn't. Slowly, he adds something else. ]
We heal fast. Hurt less. Drugs and alcohol won't get you wasted. Your cells regenerate too quickly for anything like that to take.
[Joking, mostly because - giant shapeshifting dick? That almost makes him laugh, but the moment feels just shy of funny. So he smiles slightly and shifts, returning to drawing lines in the sand - triangles this time. He pauses after joining two lines with a third, staring down at the sand before slowly drawing his eyes up to Derek when he lets that second shoe drop.
Well, he can't say he didn't expect this. He knew this? He knew this about Derek. And yet it feels like he was just kicked in the teeth, reeling for a second when he thinks just far enough ahead to apply those facts to his own life. Forced sobriety's a small send off for deep roots of connection and fucking furry superpowers, but even still.]
Oh. Right.
[He blinks his gaze away, slight frown as he looks back down to the sand.]
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no subject
Full moon. He's going to have to look into when the next one will be.]
Have you... bitten someone before?
no subject
Four times. Stiles is - two years ahead of me, back home, and he told me the number's gonna go up.
[ Up to six, if he includes both Victoria and Gerard. Derek's a little nervous about sharing this information with Tate, whose possessiveness and unwillingness to share have become pretty notable traits of his, and saying he has betas waiting for him back home might - damage what they have here. Derek slowly shrugs. Not going to lie. ]
Three of the bites worked the way they were supposed to.
no subject
[It was going to get asked, especially since Derek opened the floor by bringing it up. He's not sure how he feels about the notion of Derek having already bitten people before, and what that means. He's not the first. Won't be the last. He's a middle piece in a bigger puzzle but he has to mean something, even still. He's the first one here. Maybe the only one, too, if things work out.]
What went wrong?
no subject
It's - hard to explain. Sometimes a person just... isn't made for a life like this.
[ He - hesitates, and he's not trying to give a half-assed answer here, he just really needs some time to think everything through. Derek slowly takes a stab in the dark. ]
When the bite works - you become a wolf. When it doesn't - your body either dies trying to reject the bite, or the shift turns into something else. Something corrupted. Dark.
[ Something reflective of who you are as a person. Someone bad. Tate isn't bad. Derek knows Tate isn't bad. ]
That wouldn't happen to you.
no subject
[Tate takes pause at the notion of 'something corrupted' and thinks about how many times he and Violet discussed the notion of darkness. How it had a part of them enveloped in it for so long. How she now believes that he is that darkness. How can Derek so safely say that he's not that? That that won't happen to him? He looks hesitant for a beat, but his expression softens.]
Are you sure? I don't... I don't want to become something bad. I just want to be like you.
no subject
[ He's willing to bet on it, at least. If he's come this far - far enough to offer Tate the bite, far enough to trust him against his better judgement, far enough to beat himself up for ever thinking this poor, abused kid was a danger to anyone but himself, even after what he did to his stepfather -
Then Tate has to be a good person. He won't allow himself to be wrong about this. Not when he's so close to having a pack. Not when he's so close to helping someone. Saving them, in a way that he couldn't do for Erica and Boyd, back in Stiles' history. Back in his future.
Derek takes a breath. He looks at Tate, eyes dropping to his hip, the section of flesh he'd sink his teeth into the second they choose to commit to this. He swallows, then looks up, holding eye contact. ]
You need - to think about this. I'm not going to force you to sign a contract with me, or-- or do anything you don't want to do, but once I give you the bite, things are going to change between us. There'll be - a pull, like I said. You'll find it difficult to be away from me, unless you find a different Alpha, and... there aren't any other Alphas around. You'll be mine.
[ Unless Tate chooses to be an Omega, but - nobody would choose that. Not willingly. Tate would be his, through and through. Derek clenches his jaw a little. ]
Your body's going to change. You've seen my eyes - my claws. Wolves are predators. Dangerous. You told me, once, that you didn't want to be dangerous, but if you're ever bitten - that's something you'll have to deal with. People will be scared of you. Animals will be scared of you. We're thought of as - monsters. If that's not worth the safety I can provide you, then I can't force you into this in good conscience.
[ A pause. Derek leans back. ]
Full moon's on the 19th. I'll give you until then to decide.
no subject
Never. Why would she?
He nods his head, looking down at the sand as he draws his fingers through it to rake out lines. They absently start spiraling in on themselves, and he doesn't notice what he's drawing - the triskele is just a byproduct of a distracted mind.]
I don't think of you as a monster. Or dangerous. You're...
[He looks guilty, glancing up. Like - it's silly to say:]
You feel like safety to me.
no subject
Tate throws him, a little. He's been kind like this before, but Derek's been dodging bringing up what Tate said - his fear of being dangerous, his desire to be normal. It felt like a rejection, a dealbreaker, waiting just beneath the surface of all of this, and for Tate to just so quickly dismiss Derek's worries and see him as someone better than just teeth and tearing and blood, it's -
A lot. ]
That's... what I want to be.
[ Safety. Derek swallows. ]
If you... if you do decide to take the bite...
[ Derek doesn't want to push this. Doesn't want to make Tate feel cornered or emotionally manipulated into taking the bite, even though the scales are swinging so clearly in that direction already. He looks at the guilt in him, the self-consciousness, and he just wants to take that away. To protect him, the way an Alpha should. ]
If you take the bite - you'll be my only beta here. I'll - give you everything I can give you. Attention, love, safety. Strength. Taking care of you will be one of my absolute, highest priorities. Anything you want, anything you need - all you'll have to do is ask for it, and I'll give it to you.
[ Tate matters to him. He'll only matter more, if this happens. Derek takes another long, long breath, and he pushes his attempt at being honest a little further. ]
I wasn't a good Alpha, back home. I want to be better here.
[ For Tate. For himself. For Stiles, if only to make him proud. For Erica, for Boyd, for Isaac. For Jackson. Laura. Scott. Fuck, even for Peter. So many things ride on.doing better. He wants to do so much better. ]
no subject
Maybe it's the same. Maybe he just needs to find the same in those means, too.
He just nods his head and listens to that, cupped fingers dragging a line of sand over the drawings he'd left indented, folding it all back over itself to once again lay flat. He wants to ask why Derek wasn't a good Alpha but it doesn't feel like the moment. He might get an honest answer but - honestly, he's asked enough. He also feels... tired.]
I'll think on it - I want to... to think it through. And not be rash, even if I think I already know what I want. Whatever I pick though, you'll still... we can still be close, right?
no subject
He's just - being pushy.
Tate asks for time, asks if they can still be close, and Derek nods, slow and stilted. ]
Yeah.
[ And he doesn't say it, but it's there in his tone - just not as close as we could be. ]
no subject
Okay. I'll - I'll tell you when I know.
["I already know."]
This is where - where you gotta tell me any freaky shit, though. Like how bad's the flea deal.
no subject
No fleas. Just, you know. Insatiable arousal on the full moon. Slightly more carnivorous appetite. Giant, shapeshifting dick.
[ At least one of those things is true. Derek hits Tate with a neutral, lazy stare, the kind of expression that makes it difficult to tell how serious he is, but. It doesn't last. There's something else on his mind - something small enough to nag at him, guilting him for lying by omission. Something he feels he needs to bring up.
This is a huge, huge offer, and not providing full disclosure is - manipulative, in the end. Derek doesn't want to... do this, but he can't keep trying to weakly convince himself he's a good person if he doesn't. Slowly, he adds something else. ]
We heal fast. Hurt less. Drugs and alcohol won't get you wasted. Your cells regenerate too quickly for anything like that to take.
no subject
[Joking, mostly because - giant shapeshifting dick? That almost makes him laugh, but the moment feels just shy of funny. So he smiles slightly and shifts, returning to drawing lines in the sand - triangles this time. He pauses after joining two lines with a third, staring down at the sand before slowly drawing his eyes up to Derek when he lets that second shoe drop.
Well, he can't say he didn't expect this. He knew this? He knew this about Derek. And yet it feels like he was just kicked in the teeth, reeling for a second when he thinks just far enough ahead to apply those facts to his own life. Forced sobriety's a small send off for deep roots of connection and fucking furry superpowers, but even still.]
Oh. Right.
[He blinks his gaze away, slight frown as he looks back down to the sand.]
I guess that makes sense.