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[calloused]

▶ Derek Hale. Leave a message.

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un: tl94

[confiscated]

what's a werewolf's favorite day of the week?

[calloused]

Don't say Moonday.

[confiscated]

cmon its a good one.

[calloused]

No.
Make up something new. Like...
Awooooooooooo-dnesday.

[confiscated]

how about this instead:

what'd the werewolf eat after getting his teeth cleaned?

[calloused]

Your mom.

[confiscated]

nah, the dentist.

c'mon. return the roast, i'm waiting for some ghost jokes here.

[calloused]

Your mom was the dentist in this scenario.
Plot twist. I got it right.

What did the ghost say when he was so bored he decided to start haunting people?

[confiscated]

"what's a werewolf's favorite day of the week?"?

[calloused]

Oh, you got it. Knew you were smart.

Ghosts favourite holiday?

[confiscated]

if it's not halloween i call bullshit

[calloused]

Ghosts love their booirthdays.
Boo-irthday.
Do you get it?
Boo-irthday.

[confiscated]

oh my god i regret this conversation completely

i just wanted to say hey. opened pandora's dogdoor instead

[calloused]

Why didn't the ghost go to prom?

[ this is still happening. sorry. ]

Because he had nobody to go with.
Haha.




Wait, fuck.
I think that's supposed to be a skeleton.
Whatever, still works.

[confiscated]

wow? you know i didn't go to prom. because i was dead
this is a hurtful fucking joke man

[calloused]

Guess I fucked up the punchline, too.

Okay, that's enough.
Hi.

[confiscated]

what's up

[calloused]

[ living in a constant state of unease. trying to prepare himself for the next inevitable city-shifting cataclysm that sends everyone back into a brainless frenzy of fucking and feeling bad. dealing with stiles' cat who just threw up on his shirt. a lot of things on his plate right now. ]

Nothing. I don't know.
Figuring out how to ask Stiles out on a date, despite having done that a good dozen times by now.
Being critically aware of how socially awkward I am.
What's up with you?

[confiscated]

just ask him if he wants to go out
not hard right? that's what uh
dating people do, right?

quick q: do u call urselves boyfriends?
or just say ur dating?

[calloused]

?
He's my boyfriend.

[ brief flutter of panic. has derek not called stiles his boyfriend enough? shit, is derek a bad boyfriend? fuck, god damn it. ]

Why?

[confiscated]

just asking.

peter and i kinda agreed to be something
but i don't know if i'm supposed to say boyfriend a lot?
like


you and stiles seem like u have it figured out
so i guess i wanna just be as confident about it as u are

so.

[calloused]

Oh. Hey, that's great news.
Congratulations.
I'm glad you're moving on.

[ from violet. derek hopes that wasn't... a delicate thing to say. ]

It's up to you. Up to both of you.
Do you feel weird about using the B word?
Do you feel weird about him using the B word?

[confiscated]

i wanna say i don't find it weird but
it's still kinda new for me
saying that stuff out loud.

guess it won't get any easier til i get used to it, right?
i don't want him to think i'm ashamed or anything
cause i like him. a lot. obviously

[calloused]

Obviously.

You could always just follow his lead.
See how often he says it. Go with that.
Could practice on me. Tell me he's your boyfriend a few times. See if it feels okay.

[confiscated]

yeah i guess that's cool.
practice sounds kinda dorky though

what are you up to?
we dont have to talk about my weird life