calloused: ғᴀᴏʟᴀᴅʜ (30.)
ᴅᴇʀᴇᴋ ʜᴀʟᴇ ♔ ([personal profile] calloused) wrote2019-01-19 03:09 pm
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Derek Hale. Leave a message.

( video / text / voice / action )

confiscated: (⇀ and rage)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-15 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
[Tate slinks toward the couch like Derek's shadow, curling up with his heels on the sofa cushion and his body tilted toward Derek on a slant. It's one of those moods of Tate's where he won't outwardly say it but there's a clear want to be touched or held, and he just drops his head to look down at his pitiful plate of food which he pokes at with his fork. He licks a few grains of rice off the prongs of the fork.]

Okay.

[The boat - a place of merciless blood and suffering, and a few experiences he probably should forget about. Being shackled to the brig's walls was one of those things he will just neglect to mention and in time seemingly forget ever happened - if you ignore it long enough it's like it never took place? He spears chicken on his fork.]

I found Noah there, after... I don't know how long I was there. We wanted to get off but didn't really know how until we saw people jump.
confiscated: (⇀ this winter morn)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-15 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
A little. Not bad or anything, but there was a lot going on.

[People were tearing one another apart in a variety of ways, from the more violent to the sadistically sexual and he definitely got some hands thrown his way in such a way he was disheveled long before he made it to the brig to be left to the mercy of strangers. He spins the ring on his thumb and then tentatively eats a bite of chicken, which tastes like nothing in his mouth. It takes a lot of effort to swallow.]

Worst was after we jumped. We did it together, to get back to land. I know how to swim pretty okay and it was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I just sunk down and down.
confiscated: (⇀ lost dreams)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-15 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know if there was anything you could've done. I didn't even know you were there.

[Until after, at least. Maybe if he had found Derek it would've been something different - he would've had someone to help him, even. He looks sidelong at Derek like he might be thinking about that in particular but he doesn't say anything. He just stabs at another small piece of chicken off his plate and avoids putting it to his lips.]

When I - when I went under, I...

[Tate stares blankly, fork drooping back down to the plate. He stares off to the distant wall of the den, blank and unfocused. He doesn't quite flinch but it's like there's something plaguing him, and he rubs at his eye before clutching the side of his head almost as if pain is shooting through it.]

I saw stuff. I can't - I can't make sense of it. Even when I try.
confiscated: (⇀ let me hate)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-15 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
I - I don't know.

[Tate repeats a little louder, almost slipping into a frustrated tone. It's not that he doesn't want to figure out the flashes of color in his head but every time he tries to there's something that blends everything together in his head and makes him a bit sick from trying to keep it all separate and apart. He clutches his hands into his hair, grimacing with his eyes closed and his body hunching forward. He heaves a breath and his fork falls from his plate, off his lap and onto the floor.]

Everything is - any time I try to think, it hurts. Nothing makes sense when I try to talk about it. It's in my head and I can't fucking get it out!
confiscated: (⇀ the pain beyond measure)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-15 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
I just want... to be able to make sense of it.

[He's so caught up in his own upset that he doesn't have the foresight to see what kind of a danger it would be to have Derek peek into his head. One wrong memory and everything he's built here would unravel as violently as all the lives he once snuffed out. But Tate's still suffering in his own head, starting to rock gently, but he breathes in deep at the contact from Derek and slowly relaxes. He's still tense, muscles tight, teeth clenched together and his fingers still gripping into the curls that halo his head.]

It's in my head and I can't even talk about it. I want it out. Take it out.
confiscated: (⇀ mind playing tricks)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-15 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
[He's not ready - he's still caught up in the whirlwind in his head that even after Derek moves, it's not until he's squeezing his shoulders that he really realized where he went. Tate is hunched forward just a bit and tries to correct, leaning back against the support of Derek's hands before slanting forward again on second thought. His heart flickers in its beat and he turns to look over his shoulder, vaguely present but also - rightly apprehensive.]

Do I need to do anything? Should I- do anything?

[Close his eyes. Take off his shirt? Hold his breath or count to twenty?]

Don't count down or anything. Just do it.
confiscated: (⇀ one sight too few)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-16 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
[Tate murmurs something of an 'okay' but aside from feeling Derek's grip tighten he's woefully unprepared for the feeling of his claws gliding into the back of his neck. It's like a jolt and Tate lets out a softly strangled noise, back rigid and his lips parting in a silent gasp as all breath in his lungs is extinguished in the quickest of moments.]

Sh-Shit.

[He scrunches his eyes closed and grits his teeth, trying to focus on the memories in question as if it might help Derek find them somehow.]
confiscated: (⇀ and mine in time)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-18 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
[Tate doesn't know how to properly describe this moment, and that's strange considering all that he's been through - including a merry amount of deaths. But he tries to keep himself focused, to fish through the mess in his head for the haunting images that blur and move before his eyes but fail to escape him in words. He almost relives the moment of suffocating on jet black water, and flashes of other memories come in through association. Fading in and out of consciousness with drugs in his system. Choking on a mouthful of blood as a room full of SWAT warily watch him fall.

He panics and thinks of something else in the half-heartbeat his mind skipped to that, realizing he can't remember what the other memories were. They're gone, like a dream he stirred from - they aren't recorded anywhere in recent memory. He opens his eyes, looking up, feeling oddly... strange about that. Did he make the right decision?]


D-Derek?
confiscated: (⇀ a black net of sky)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-18 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
I...

[Derek's looming over Tate as he pinches together his brows, feeling a bit heady but unsure - clarity is quick to return to him and he looks up at Derek with wider brown eyes than usual. He's softer around the edges, a little more present now that he can stop fixating on what he couldn't see, share or control. He's more alive but still a bit dead around the edges, gray circles under his eyes as he reaches back to touch his fingers to his neck and brings them back wet with red.

He stares at the blood on his fingertips, not all that concerned either. The wound will heal in ten minute's time but Tate's just searching again for the memories that were taken from him. He shakes his head, dismissing the notion that Derek hurt him. It hurt, yes, but it was for the best.]


I feel better. Because of you.

[He looks up again.]

Thank you.
confiscated: (⇀ this winter morn)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-22 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
Okay.

[There's no fight in Tate against that, not when he's still feeling like his head is churning itself inside out - only now without the images that once accompanied the sway-like feeling resonating through him like he was still awash in the tide. He rubs his hand up and over the bones of his wrist, curling one finger against his forearm to scratch up toward his elbow and back again in an idle tic.]

... Are they just going to be in your head now? Forever?

[A question that bubbles out of him after he looks up, not sure how he feels. Still happier not to have them in his own head, but Derek's continued burdening of himself leaves Tate feeling like he's not able to keep the balance. He should be protecting Derek too, or at the very least not continuing to prove how weak he is by needing assistance every five steps.]
confiscated: (⇀ and dark crimson night)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-22 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
You do a lot for me.

[Tate murmurs the fact aloud, leaning in toward Derek's palm not unlike the three legged cat that roams around them half the time. He stares off for a moment into the distance, eyes unfocused, before he blinks back into himself and the present. He tilts his head to look up at Derek, reaching up with two fingers to snag the front of his clean shirt and give it a little tug right at the hem. Right over his dick.]

Will you do one more thing for me?
confiscated: (⇀ and ignorance)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-22 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
Right.

[Tate's fingers unhook, slow and deliberate, ghosting down the front of Derek's thigh as he lets 'maybe' sit at the forefront of his mind and feels curbed away from what he wanted with minor annoyance. He chews on his lower lip before looking back up, dark eyes intent in how they study Derek's face - waiting for the next cue on how to act. What to say. What to do.]

What is it?
confiscated: (⇀ feathered edges)

[personal profile] confiscated 2020-09-22 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
[Tate feels a pulse of something run through him and he hates how that might be noticeable, hopefully brushed off as surprise with the way his eyes widen a fraction before Derek lets him put his worry to rest by telling him that Stiles doesn't remember. That Stiles won't hold anything he once told him against him, tip toeing around sensitive subjects by lying and feeling like the only person who had nearly called him on his bullshit isn't actually back to do it again. He swallows hard, breathing in deep before exhaling slowly and really craving a smoke.]

Oh.

[There's a lot to process there and maybe it's a good thing that Derek can sense the way Tate twitches, the way he scratches at his arm again idly - because it might be perceived as the jealousy it in part truly is. Someone Derek cares about is back and Tate is just so quickly becoming agitated by the notion of having to share the attention he's receiving.]

You must be happy.

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