I meant another citation, not another tattoo. But - I'm glad. I always worried it didn't mean as much as it could have. I tried to make it matter, but... you still wouldn't have gotten it in the first place if it hadn't been forced on you.
we did the best we could with what we were dealt im glad u were the one to do it we made it our thing instead of the city's i wonder if ill still get a citation for saying something like FUCK THE CITY
[ derek sure hates this whole give tate his independence idea he came up with. how is he supposed to grill him about all the horrible shit he's done in secret? unbelievable. ]
Maybe don't test that out on an actively monitored network.
[ shit, that's really sweet - derek's touched, and he's not really sure what to say. kind of just wants to give tate a hug, but that's a difficult feeling to put into words. ]
Well - thank you. I hope I was good to you, when I was your dom. I really, really tried. Getting him his own space is bound to be beneficial for the both of you, if it's something you can afford. I'll help you look.
[ a pause. ]
You're sweet. You've always been sweet. I'm glad we're friends.
I don't think of you as my sub. I just think of you as my friend. Family. You matter more to me than the roles this city put us in. I know I say that a lot, but - I hope you know what I mean when I do.
[ he doesn't think tate misses being derek's sub so much as he just misses when it was just the two of them - and derek liked that, too, but he wouldn't trade having stiles here for anything, and with tate getting out there, signing contracts with new, trustworthy people, he thinks they're both in better places now than they were six or seven months ago. he can't... say that, though, not when tate's kind of making him feel bad. ]
We still have each other, though. We're lucky. With how often people have left in this place.
Maybe someone here likes you. Maybe LIES employees jerk off to your videos the most.
[ or maybe they think Tate is key to understanding this deceit gene bullshit, regardless of his graduation. who can say. ]
Anyway. No need to be sad. You're here. I'm here. I'm going to fuck your therapist. You're probably, eventually, going to fuck your straight friend. Nothing to feel bad about.
i'm trying to be understanding because i am. about the whole not gay thing i felt that way before too. still do? but he kind of acts like idk how to say it
Can't really fault him for that. Not everyone likes sucking cock as much as you do.
[ kind of teasing, kind of not. if marcus is new to all this, it kind of makes sense to derek that he'd get cold feet at whatever line he drew for himself. ]
He acts... cold? Mean? He's, what, sixteen? Seventeen? Maybe he's struggling with this more than you did.
You shouldn't. It's not fair for him to put you through that, and it's not your responsibility to help him feel okay with... whatever it is you two are doing. If he's hurting you, or making you feel unappreciated in any way, you need to keep some distance between the two of you. Emotionally speaking. Physically, too, probably. Act sensibly. Be understanding, but don't let him use you or control the dynamic of your relationship. Take care of yourself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But - I'm glad. I always worried it didn't mean as much as it could have.
I tried to make it matter, but... you still wouldn't have gotten it in the first place if it hadn't been forced on you.
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[Not. At all.]
we did the best we could with what we were dealt
im glad u were the one to do it
we made it our thing instead of the city's
i wonder if ill still get a citation for saying something like
FUCK THE CITY
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[ derek sure hates this whole give tate his independence idea he came up with. how is he supposed to grill him about all the horrible shit he's done in secret? unbelievable. ]
Maybe don't test that out on an actively monitored network.
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fuck the system. i bet marcus would be down for it too
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He's relying on you.
[ as much as any sub relies on a dom around here, at least. ]
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will u help me look for apartments sometime
i have to save up some more $ but i wanna see if i can cover it for him
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[ or - wait. ]
Are you not living together?
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i should get him his own space right?
even if it's just a room somewhere
i also kinda want MY own space back
im trying to do for him what u did for me
kinda base a lot of what i'm doing off of what you did tbh
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[ shit, that's really sweet - derek's touched, and he's not really sure what to say. kind of just wants to give tate a hug, but that's a difficult feeling to put into words. ]
Well - thank you. I hope I was good to you, when I was your dom. I really, really tried.
Getting him his own space is bound to be beneficial for the both of you, if it's something you can afford.
I'll help you look.
[ a pause. ]
You're sweet.
You've always been sweet.
I'm glad we're friends.
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what u do for me, even now
jsyk ur still my dom
so far as i'm concerned
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[ ... ]
I don't think of you as my sub.
I just think of you as my friend. Family.
You matter more to me than the roles this city put us in. I know I say that a lot, but -
I hope you know what I mean when I do.
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i still miss it though, sometimes
being ur sub.
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I get it.
[ he doesn't think tate misses being derek's sub so much as he just misses when it was just the two of them - and derek liked that, too, but he wouldn't trade having stiles here for anything, and with tate getting out there, signing contracts with new, trustworthy people, he thinks they're both in better places now than they were six or seven months ago. he can't... say that, though, not when tate's kind of making him feel bad. ]
We still have each other, though.
We're lucky. With how often people have left in this place.
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it's kind of weird, right?
i don't wanna jinx it though
or lose you again so. i hope we stick around
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Maybe LIES employees jerk off to your videos the most.
[ or maybe they think Tate is key to understanding this deceit gene bullshit, regardless of his graduation. who can say. ]
Anyway.
No need to be sad.
You're here. I'm here. I'm going to fuck your therapist. You're probably, eventually, going to fuck your straight friend.
Nothing to feel bad about.
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fuck me again before you screw harley
i want to feel like top dog.
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You're not top dog.
I'm top dog.
In almost every sense of the word. Literal, figurative, otherwise.
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and well we did some stuff
not straight stuff
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I'm not really going to fuck your therapist.
[ he's not going to tell tate about it, at the very least. that... won't stop him from fucking tate again, either, but more importantly - ]
What... kind of stuff?
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do you really want the details? i'll tell you
but i don't wanna overshare
though i guess i do want your opinion on something
maybe
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[ he's not going to pry if tate doesn't want to tell, though. he's not an animal. ]
What's up?
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he fucking spit though.
[Not annoyed but also a bit annoyed still.]
i'm trying to be understanding
because i am. about the whole not gay thing
i felt that way before too. still do?
but he kind of acts like
idk how to say it
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Not everyone likes sucking cock as much as you do.
[ kind of teasing, kind of not. if marcus is new to all this, it kind of makes sense to derek that he'd get cold feet at whatever line he drew for himself. ]
He acts... cold? Mean?
He's, what, sixteen? Seventeen?
Maybe he's struggling with this more than you did.
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he can be an asshole
and i get it
but idk
i dont like feeling like someone's ashamed of liking me
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Well...
You shouldn't. It's not fair for him to put you through that, and it's not your responsibility to help him feel okay with... whatever it is you two are doing.
If he's hurting you, or making you feel unappreciated in any way, you need to keep some distance between the two of you. Emotionally speaking. Physically, too, probably.
Act sensibly. Be understanding, but don't let him use you or control the dynamic of your relationship.
Take care of yourself.
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